Sunday 28 April 2019

My 2019 pre-rehearsal ranking

Every day this week I will add some songs to the list... 
Once rehearsals are done this may well be a very different looking list!!!!

If you have NO idea of what to expect, maybe have a watch of this taster video which presents short clips of all the songs in alphabetical order. There are also loads of full length videos on the official Eurovision youtube page.

 



1   ITALY Mahmood - Soldi 
This is just class. The different rhythms, rhymes and riffs are slightly intoxicating yet not annoying, the story of the song is contemporary and there is of course audience participation *clap clap*.

2   AZERBAIJAN Chingiz Mustafayev - Truth 

The more I see this as the ‘answer back to Toy’ the more I bloody love it. It’s very contemporary, radio friendly and if they focus on the vocals than the visual show this could be a dark horse.

3   PORTUGAL Conan Ósiris -Telemóveis 

Portugal will always send something Portuguese and since their win they seem to have gone Avant Garde, cool and frankly odd. The backing track is an actual work of art although its meaning may get lost in translation.

4   SPAIN Miki - La venda 

There ain’t no party like a Spain Club party! If Europe wants an uptempo, happy party number this is the one that’ll do it. Miki is a great performer and the song is terribly catchy. !Vamos España!

5   SWEDEN John Lundvik - Too Late for Love 

If Europe wants safe inoffensive gospel pop to win, this’ll walk it. John is a great singer and the interactions with his backing singers are very genuine. Do we want to go to Sweden *again*?

6   CZECHIA Lake Malawi - Friend of a Friend 

The run of great pop songs continues! The repetitive chorus is earwormy and the performance is fun and frothy. The spoken word bit is a bit naff but is the only time a performer directly addresses the camera personally.

7   SLOVENIA Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl - Sebi 
A tiny slice of loved-up dream pop in a sea of screamy disingenuous meaningless nonsense. Would not feel out of place on modern contemporary radio stations and the Slovene language sounds lush.

8   NORWAY KEiiNO - Spirit in the Sky 
This has been my grower. Didn’t think too much of this at first but it is very individual and memorable. The joiking might be a bit marmite but a bad memory is better than no memory at all.

9   SAN MARINO Serhat - Say Na Na Na 
Bite me. I don’t care. The underdog of all underdogs. Serhat is back for more! It is what it is and it’s not pretending to be something it’s not. It’s cheap, cheerful, happy, simple, fun and downright catchy.

10   NORTH MACEDONIA Tamara Todevska - Proud 
A nice understated ballad with a meaning that can be extrapolated to almost all audience members. The lack of a beat could help or hinder but she will need to have top notch vocals to qualify.

11   CYPRUS Tamta - Replay 
Fuego round 2 ! In some ways this is a more complicated number than its predecessor but familiar enough to link back. Which Tamta from the video will turn up? Why break a winning formula?

12   BELGIUM Eliot - Wake Up 
A simplistic song with a twang of 80s synths. Eliot’s voice is a wee bit thin but this helps push through the fragile nature of the song. I just wish the beat continued through the chorus at least once.

13   AUSTRALIA Kate Miller-Heidke - Zero Gravity 
Dancy-trancy opera with a powerful female message. Plenty of earworms here depending on your fave style of music! The NF staging is gone so I wait with trepidation about what it’ll look like.

14          NETHERLANDS Duncan Laurence - Arcade
A big favourite, but not so much with me. Don’t like the stomp/clap section and find his falsetto a little bit irritating. Interesting song but a bit worthy in places. Who’ll vote for this anyway?

15          ICELAND Hatari - Hatrið mun sigra
Something out of the box. At least nobody can say that this is forgettable in any way, shape or form. Their vocals are a little ropey and the show is shocking. I still wonder what it really means...

16          SWITZERLAND Luca Hänni - She Got Me
Male Fuego. The song has lots of little earworms and will certainly have the crowd up and dancing. I suspect his vocals may be hindered by too much dancing and the show lacking with not enough dancers.

17          LATVIA Carousel - That Night
A country-folky number which seems to creep up on you, enter your ear then won’t go away. The sepia-cabaret setting gives the song a memorable quality although it might be a little uneventful.

18          GREECE Katerine Duska - Better Love
Florence and the Machine does Eurovision. It’s not terribly Greek sounding (which could go either way) and would not sound out of place on Studio Brussel. The music video is a collection of oddments.

19          ROMANIA Ester Peony - On a Sunday
Ester’s warbly voice teeters on the edge here which makes it rather intriguing, as is the slow but steady drum beat. Too much ‘ay-ay-ay’ ing for my tastes. Does she not realise it should be ‘on a Saturday’?

20          UNITED KINGDOM Michael Rice - Bigger than Us
The song isn’t bad, if a not a bit wet, but it allows Michael to show off his voice and personality which is at least something. More a jury song than televote but should be a better result than last year.

21   BELARUS Zena - Like It 
Belarus’ music taste has finally caught up to the early noughties. A very young pop feel with a radio friendly edge. It’s also very repetitive which could be good or bad depending on your tastes.

22   AUSTRIA Paenda - Limits 
Very, very low key.  Her voice is small and quiet and the whole thing could be misconstrued as forgettable but if you really listen there is a lot to listen too. I just hope it has a good visual show.

23   RUSSIA Sergey Lazarev - Scream 
Although the video is a rather cinematic masterpiece, it barely papers over the fact that there is no song. Once again the choir part is totally underused and the rhyming is abysmal. Also no actual screaming.

24   ESTONIA Victor Crone - Storm 
Grrrrrr, I don’t like it when new songs have the same titles of old Eurovision songs!!!! One of the few dancey up-tempo songs this year but also another entry where the national final setup was really confusing.

25   LITHUANIA Jurijus - Run With the Lions 
You have to win, you have to fight. Just don’t give up, get up and run with all your strength with all your might... ...with the lions…. I wish           🍈🍈🍈🍈🍈              (Get Frighten woz robbed)

26   HUNGARY Joci Pápai - Az én apám 
Joci’s previous entry was so much up my street that unless it was a total copy it was going to be a disappointment. Not enough build from start to finish. The chorus just isn’t good enough.

27   FRANCE Bilal Hassani Roi
Not a bad song, not a bad singer but the two together creates a vacuum of meh. Although the song has a great meaning and Bilal seems like a total hoot, none of this infiltrates the stage whatsoever.

28   ISRAEL Kobi Marimi - Home 
A safe ‘home’ entry. Literally. His voice is unique although I find him a bit warbled for my taste. Will go big in the hall, less so on the scoreboard but I get the feeling that is the point. But that Fuego !

29   IRELAND Sarah McTernan - 22 
Hmmm, the question is 22 – placing or points scored? The retro styling and production gives this character but needs to be much more ott and in your face to make a real impact. It’s just nice.

30   POLAND Tulia - Fire of Love (Pali Się) 
The slightly more conservative cousins of the Polish milkmaids from 2014 have turned up this year. Their choral style is very Marmite as is their folk/rock production style. Might be a bit shouty live.

31   DENMARK Leonora - Love is Forever 
A twee, frankly jESC, Eurovision song. But this one is further confused by the addition of a levitating singer, an over-sized chair and two random strangers with ladders. FFS, whatever happened to just singing?!!?

32   GERMANY S!sters - Sister 
Another song where the words about female empowerment and support is juxtaposed with two girls stomping in time with the music shouting in each other’s faces. The worlds worst frenemy anthem. Nein 

33   ALBANIA Jonida Maliqi - Ktheju Tokës 
Not actually a bad song but unless you are actually listening to it, it is totally forgettable. As decent as the theme and the music are, nobody bar the Albanian diaspora will be voting for this. Awful hair.

34   ARMENIA Srbuk - Walking Out
A song on the theme of control and abuse ends up being a shout fest and I start to lose all sympathy for her for being a wailer. Can’t help thinking it’s a slowed down version of the “Ducktales” music.

35          GEORGIA Oto Nemsadze – Keep On Going
Although it is nice to see more songs in Georgian, and in the rock ballad genre, this one takes far too long to get into gear and the choir is underused, especially as their bit is the best bit. Plus Oto is scary af.

36          FINLAND Darude ft. Sebastian Rejman - Look Away
Less “Look away” more 'Hear Away'. A very generic piece dance-pop with obligatory 'Earth Mother' message. This isn’t the song to rejuvenate your flagging career. It's just no Sandstorm. End of.

37          SERBIA Nevena Božović - Kruna
Although this is a very earnest and well written song, the chorus comes across as a bit shouty and the English bridge is not well placed. It's just boring. I hope she has a better outfit in Tel Aviv.

38          MALTA Michela Pace - Chameleon
The intro sounds like a trombonist down a toilet, the chorus is stupid, and the video is a mess. 
Give me ham I'm a hamster. I've got hips, I'm a hipster. I have ears, give me earplugs. PLEASE.

39          CROATIA Roko Blažević - The Dream
Dear Mr Houdek, please leave Eurovision alone. kthnxbai. Roko has a powerful voice but is wasted on this dreary over-emotional excuse of a song. Less said about the wings the better. Oh Bodyform...

40          MONTENEGRO D-Mol - Heaven
This was a mess in the National Final and its recent revamp is rather laughable. As decent as the individual singers are, this effort is rather amateur and dated. Music video sponsored by Daz (not Sampson)

41          MOLDOVA Anna Odobescu - Stay
Several months on from its victory in the National Final I *still* cannot tell you hot this song goes. All I do know is she's blond and the music video was very depressing. Please come back Mad Moldova.

SOA 1906

It's the final episode!
41 songs later and we finally got to the end. Not only do we have today's episode winner but we compare all the podcast winners and decide on our overall favourite song, which actually ended up being a tricky process!
Next week I will be uploading my final ranking of the songs, uploading a few songs every day until rehearsals start... As we all know as ideas are unveiled, dreams can be made or broken once rehearsals begin so things are still very much up for grabs!

On the show we discuss many things including -
Who owns Eurovision?
Keeping the man bun
Moldovan Top Gear
Elocution by Lena
Eurovision song writing camps
Swiss sloppy seconds
Is it a song solely about women...?
One Eurovision song to the tune of a non-Eurovision song

In this final episode we discuss in alphabetical order: Czechia, Estonia, Germany, Hungary, Lithuania, Moldova and newly renamed North Macedonia.

If you have enjoyed the podcasts, please get in touch and/or share my stuff  :)
 
Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/ESCarmchair
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ESCarmchair to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/SOA1906


Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)


Thursday 25 April 2019

SOA 1905

It's time for another irreverent (or should that be irrelevant) look at the 2019 Eurovision song contest! Lots of chat and quite a few differing opinions on the show which makes for a slightly surprising winner! There is also lots of accidental remembrances of last years winner and runner-up which seems to send Andy into some kind of post-traumatic stress over the whole thing...

Tangental chat includes -
What *is* a Wiggli Willi?
Can "Derek had a double dose" be done live?
Edward Pickaxehands or Mr Spoons?
Duck Tales - the depressing years
The KFC Netto Box
Remember Amy Studt...?
"The bald Roger Pantare"
Alexander Don't come-bak

In this episode we discuss in alphabetical order:
Armenia, Australia, Belarus, Estonia, Israel, Norway and Portugal.

If you have enjoyed the podcasts, please get in touch and/or share my stuff  :)
 
Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/ESCarmchair
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ESCarmchair to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/SOA1905


Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)


Saturday 20 April 2019

SOA 1904

Time for episode 4 which means we are now over half way through !

Just so you know, once the last 'shite or alright' podcast has been uploaded, I will be listing my ranking of the 41 songs,from the bottom up revealing about 6/7 songs each day. I have been re-jigging my 1-41 ranking since March and some parts have stayed static and some parts are changed dramatically. In fact I predict that my list as is today won't be anything like my final list next month!
Then it'll be rehearsals (cue lots of chat about staging helping/getting in the way) and then it'll be showtime !!!!

Digressions this episode include:
Trombones down a toilet
‘ay-ay-ay’ is NOT a chorus
Couture Mrs Haversham
Why Paul Oscar doesn’t have children
Visible backing singers for once!
Something more than just jury/televote splits
‘He never had good songs with lyrics”

Songs scored in this episode are, in alphabetical order: Croatia, Finland, Iceland, Italy, Malta, Romania and Sweden


If you have enjoyed the podcasts, please get in touch and/or share my stuff  :)
 
Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/ESCarmchair
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ESCarmchair to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/SOA1904


Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)


Monday 15 April 2019

SOA 1903

This is the third of six review episodes looking at all 41 songs in the 2019 Eurovision song contest.

Ann is the fan whilst Andy is the slightly dragged-along husband but together, hopefully, it gives a well rounded view of the songs and possibly a more realistic view of how songs might do. That doesn't mean we don't have many questions or doubts over certain entries as we well know that live singing ability and staging could turn something from zero to hero - and vice versa! We sift through the entries to see if we can separate the wheat from the chaff and the serous from the daft!

Tangents on today's episode include -
Frankee and Eamon
Paul Claffey (google him - unless you are Irish and should know better!)
Pray Tell as Eurovision host
Being dragged through a hedge backwards
(anti)Tourist Board Videos
The Herne Bay 'telly-go-round'
Comebacks (Eurovision or not)  through the ages
Cbeebies memes
... and lots and lots of cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese !

In this episode we discuss in alphabetical order: Austria, Azerbaijan, France, Montenegro, San Marino and Serbia.

If you have enjoyed the podcasts, please get in touch and/or share my stuff  :)
 
Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/ESCarmchair
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ESCarmchair to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/SOA1903


Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)


Wednesday 10 April 2019

SOA 1902

It's episode two of our Eurovision reviews!

It's a little more positive that our first episode and this one also seem to bring out some discussion about how/where/when songs were selected and their suitability as actual Eurovision songs. A couple of pre-contest faves get a grilling and opens a debate on whether all songs scream 'vote for me!!!'

Non-ESC related tangents include:
BBC Scotland
Multitudinous Cbeebies memes (again)
Twee and its many meanings
Fame Academy (and the fact between us we remember a little bit too much about it!)
Failed fruit sponsorships
Big eyebrows
... and we once again end with another helpful public transport announcement from Budapest...

Today's countries are, in alphabetical order: Belgium, Denmark, Greece, Ireland, Latvia, Netherlands and Spain

 If you have enjoyed the podcasts, please get in touch and/or share my stuff  :)
 
Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/ESCarmchair
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ESCarmchair to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/SOA1902


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Friday 5 April 2019

SOA 1901

Well, no-one asked us to come back, but we've come back anyways...

We listen to the songs and watch the videos and report back to you.
If you are the regular listener (I think we have one) you will know we are NOT easily pleased.
If you are a newcomer you will very quickly find out we are NOT easily pleased!!!
We score each song out of 5, although as you will hear we spend most of the beginning for the show figuring out the scoring system, then each heat winner goes through to the super final when we crown our overall favourite - although many year's it's not necessarily our favourite, more our least hated!

Apart from the Eurovisioning there are plenty of other things to talk about such as:
Jacob Rees Mogg (we are allowed - he's our MP)
Random early 2000s Germanic singers
Dropping in Cbeebies memes (if you get any then well done!)
Crisps
Alternate, but very odd, UK acts

Reviewed today are in alphabetical order: Albania, Cyprus, Georgia, Poland, Russia, Slovenia and United Kingdom.

 If you have enjoyed the podcasts, please get in touch and/or share my stuff  :)
 
Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/ESCarmchair
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ESCarmchair to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/SOA1901


Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)