Sunday 23 March 2014

2014 RANKINGS

1) AUSTRIA
Adele and James Bond's loss is Eurovision's gain. This song has been a revelation. I was hoping for an up-tempo number but this song has so much attitude and verve but also brings out the feistiness of Conchita. She will sell this and sing this with passion - I just know it won't get the votes it deserves.

2) MALTA
This is a grower. Although I didn't think that much of it during preselection, it has slowly crept up the rankings. However I must admit that the video is just STUNNING  and gives an extra dimension to the song's meaning. The singers in Firelight are so harmonious and technically on point.

3) HUNGARY
A slow song with dubstep choruses really but importantly the words reflect the tempo. A great song that also contains a serious message on the subject of domestic violence - something portrayed in his performance, Kallay-Saunders has a great voice but will need to work on his camera presence to sell it.

4) MONTENEGRO
Initially, you may be mistaken that this was the Irish entry. This slow rhythmical ballad in the local tongue won't be easy to understand, which will lose it votes, but the tune of the song is stunning - as is the wonderful touristy video! Sergej will hopefully make this the country's first final qualification!

5) GREECE
Not a whiff of balalaika or souk to be heard! A fantastic retro dance song with the odd sample of Balkan-esque trumpets. Although rapping at Eurovision is not the best thing to do, it contrasts with the repetitive choruses. Freaky Fortune & Riskykidd need to make sure the country can afford to win first.

6) FRANCE
This is a great summery dance tune with a great sense of fun and rhythm. Although it is mostly in French the song there is more emphasis on the rhythm than the lyrics of the song. With a bit of thought this could be a really visual number with TwinTwin's individual sense of styling.

7) LITHUANIA
This has the best intro this year and sets out the stall of the song straight away. The verses are simplistic but the bridge is quite special and choruses are really punchy and memorable. The dancing always works well. Vilija has a great personality but needs to make sure the story of the song comes through.

8) BELGIUM
This is a very sweet yet also dramatic ballad. The song really grows and the live versions, although not perfect, have always been better than the recorded version. But Axel needs to watch his French accent. Just a shame the Axel's stylists has dressed him up as the "Go Compare" man.

9)  ROMANIA
This is the typical mixed tempo Eurovision fayre that we would expect to find in the contest. The chorus is ear catching and has lots of different beats to it. Paul and Ovi are returners to the contest and know how this thing works. Paula's note near the end is quite literally a miracle!

10) NORWAY
This year's "Birds". This emotionally driven song will speak to all even if they don't understand English. It is quiet and unassuming which will make it stand out among all the busyness. Carl Epsen's voice is even more surprising when you seen he is a rather butch, tattooed ginger.

11) ISRAEL
A really modern contemporary song that would not feel out of place on the playlists of Heart (not so much a good thing)  the chorus is really memorable and the song have a very sinister dark feeling. Mei has a fantastically velvety rock-edged voice and should put on a really good show.

12) UNITED KINGDOM
For the first time in a while, the UK has taken the contest and bit more seriously or at least treated it with some respect. This thumping song has a great progression and a chanting quality to it. Molly has also proved she can sing this live, which gives me great confidence in a good finish.

13) ARMENIA
What starts off a slow ballad turns into an angry, shouty rant. This is a very individual song and will stand out a mile with its dark mood and dubstep backing track. Still, the fact that Aram MP3 did not sing this live during the presentation show bugs me and makes me doubt he can do this properly live.

14) FYR MACEDONIA
A modern dance number with lots of instrumental parts. This song has grown on me over the weeks and feel that choosing the song in English was ultimately the best choice. Tijana has an interesting look and an even more interesting voice - hopefully her deep tones will entice the voters!

15) SWITZERLAND
Singing, fiddling and whistling - all in one song! The whistling motif is infectious, catchy and language beating! Sebalter is not the best singer, doesn't have the best pronunciation but he knows how to work a camera. Let's hope he stays in time with the music all the way through.

16) IRELAND
Another typical Irish uptempo song with fiddle and dancers to boot. The chorus is anthemic and the start is also strong. The verses and bridge don't sit quite as well. The backing track needs more oomph and beat to keep it driving on. Kasey is a good singer but needs to put on a show.

17) ICELAND
The song sounds like a theme tune to a 1990's CBBC show. The singers work well together and the main singer does well during all the stutter parts. The outfits are really memorable and the dad dancing is quite funny. If only Pollapönk had kept this in Icelandic it'd be in my top 5.

18) SAN MARINO
This Siegel penned song is a whimsical, thoughtful ballad which suits Valentina's jazzy voice. The title is very prominent and memorable but it may have been better to have something in Italian again. Hopefully she will having something visual to go with it. Will this be 3rd time lucky for Valentina?

19) POLAND
This song has been a huge hit in its homeland and the video has been a viral hit on youtube. Although in Polish, the song has an unmistakable rhythm, is really repetitive and gets you clapping along. Not sure if Donatan and Cleo are a little too in your face and urban for Eurovision...

20) GERMANY
This is a song that is quite literally a mix of everything so much that it almost sounds like nothing. Part oompah band, part folk, part Slavic, part klezmer and should appeal to many people. It has a good beat, a memorable chorus, and the lead singer of Elaiza has a distinctive tone and range.

21) PORTUGAL
This is a real party/carnival song with hints of Lambada, Ricky Martin and Jennifer Lopez about it. With a energetic and colourful stage show this could do much better. The chorus is very memorable and singalongable even in Portuguese. However, Suzy needs to be more energetic on stage.

22) SPAIN
This is a typical Spanish ballad which goes far too over the top. The chorus is memorable but it takes to long to get there and too long to get to the dramatic ending. Although Ruth Lorenzo is known to UK viewers this may fall flat elsewhere as they run from their TVs due to the size of her mouth.

23) FINLAND
I would say this was the only rock song in the contest although more in the style of Brit Pop than Lordi. The song has weak verses although the chorus is very chanty. The mid section clap-along 'oh-oh-oh' bit gets you clapping and singing along. Softengine may find themselves low on the scoreboard.

24) ESTONIA
Very much inspired by Loreen's "Euphoria" in terms of musical style and from that view it is a little predictable. The tune of the song is quite good but the lyrics don't quite make sense to me.  However the performance is quite a sight to behold as Tanja's dance routine out-Loreen's Loreen.

25) DENMARK
The title holders look to win again with this Motown number. The song is radio friendly and modern and his voice is very ear catching. However it's all a little bit knowing, smug and self assured. The dancers are also really annoying and over the top. Basim is less Bruno Mars, more Bruno Uranus.

26) LATVIA
The underdog of Eurovision. The song is a very simplistic ditty obviously written about the lead singer's admiration of The Great British Bake Off (is there a Latvian version..?) Intensely annoying/catchy/earwormy. Aarzemnieki will, whatever the result, bring some fun to the proceedings.

27) MOLDOVA
A typical Moldovan song - a big belter of a ballad with a dubstep breakdown. Goes a bit too high in the chorus. The staging was quite something in the national finals with funny mirrors, scarves attached to drones controlled by dancing Mongol soldiers. But Cristina has *THE* dress of the contest.

29) UKRAINE
After numerous remixes and rewrites we have a final version which is akin to mid-tempo '70s guitar led disco. The intro is too long, the key is too high and the ending too abrupt. It's a weak tune with even more unintelligible lyrics. Not quite sure if Mariya can actually pull this version off live.

30) AZERBAIJAN
At least there will be no annoying man in a box this year... A slow dramatic ballad with ethnic tones. A song you can listen to but not sing to. Sounds like a song from a movie that doesn't work outside the movie. If you can understand a word Dilara says then you're obviously a fan of Norman Collier.

31) GEORGIA
The most individual song of the year and is quite the assault on the senses. Not the most singalongable of songs but this is true to The Shin's musical style.  Just when you've got your head around the oddly chorded yodeling it goes into a proper song. Not sure if this is SEN or gifted & talented...

32) SLOVENIA
An odd dual language song that doesn't really progress very from start to finish. The stage act during the national final was a bit too staged for my liking. This is not a bad song - just a boring one. Tinkara plays the flute on stage however whacking someone on the head with it may give better entertainment value.

33) NETHERLANDS
An anti climax from last year's 9th place. This quiet country song is a bit too quiet and a bit too country for my taste. It starts and keeps on going with no ebb or flow, peaks and troughs. Although the Common Linnets are well known in their home country, this style won't be translating into votes.

34) ALBANIA
This *was* a nice song when sung in Albanian and with a in your face intro that made it almost 4 minutes long. Now it sounds unintelligible, forced, fake and odd. The tune if you can get past the weirdness is half decent. Plus, Herci has been turned into "Little Miss Emo" and it doesn't suit her.

35) ITALY
Not quite sure what all the fuss is about this song. For the most part is looks messy and sounds even messier. The verses are really forgetful and the choruses sound like Emma is having a slanging match with the other instruments. This is Eurovision, not a crowd surfing convention or fashion show.

36) SWEDEN
I really do not get this song. Not only is the tune similar to a dog's whine but some of the lyrics are an abomination of the English language. It is a very slow winy number which actually doesn't have that much of a positive message. The mid-20s Sanna looks more like a desperate menopausal cougar.

37) RUSSIA
It is not often I can hear a Eurovision song five times and have NO recollection of it whatsoever. This is a very weak and half-hearted entry from a country that normally finds itself in the top 10 on a regular basis. The Tolmachevy Twins may have won Junior Eurovision, but they won't be doing the double. 

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