Thursday 31 December 2015

ALBANIA

The Albanian Final was held on December 27th at the Palace of Congress in Tirana, hosted by Pandi Laço & Blerta Tafani. Before the final there were 2 semi-finals where the long list of 30 was reduced to a final of 22 which is much more than was originally planned. The winner was chosen by an "expert" jury. the winning act was Eneda Tarifa with the song "Përrallë" (Fairytale)

The song is a moody midtempo song with Bond ballad qualities. The guitar introduction sets the scene perfectly and the change back to it after the first chorus reminds us how far the song grows and develops thought the first cycle. The oh-oh-oh part in the middle is a nice interlude but sounded very odd as the singers voices either did not blend well OR some of them we're a little off in timing. The song does not have a lot of lyrics and contains a lot of extended notes. Although the song is in Albanian I find it quite easy to remember the tune and the patterns and rhythms of the lyrics. I just hop that future changes do not effect these rhythms too much

Eneda has a very exotic look to her. She looks more like she could be Greek or Hispanic rather than being Balkan. I feel her hairstyle and dress could be altered quite drastically to make me much more memorable and dramatic. She has a nice voice and one that really suite the song. My only concern would be that she needs to mind she does not push it too much as it almost sounds like her right on the breaking point.  She seems like a confident performer but does pull some odd faces when singing. She also tends to squint her eves and stretch her mouth and looks reminiscent of the old Smash aliens.

The song will be re-written into English although I suspect it will not keep the English translation of "Fairytale". As I stated before I hope they don't mess about too much with the melody and rhythm of the song but many things will have to change. The song is about 30 seconds too long there are a few parts that could be shortened or omitted or even sped up slightly so I don't see this too much of an issue. What might be in issue is getting that really symphonic sound from a live orchestra to the Eurovision stage. It needs that wall of sound to show the build up through the song cycle.
The song screams "Bond theme"and part of me wonders if they could be really cheeky (or just plain clever) and rewrite the song with the title "Spectre" ?

As there is nothing definite to compare it to, this is a tricky one to review. However I would say that this is quite a good song. After a few listens  it becomes very familiar and that can only quicken when translated into English - providing they keep to the same cadence and tune. This could be a really dramatic song if they get the backing correct. Could this win? Who knows - but this is definitely one I will be watching over the next few months to see how it changes.

ARTIST - Eneda Tarifa
SONG - Përrallë (Fairytale)
MUSIC - Olsa Toqi
LYRICS - Olsa Toqi

Wednesday 30 December 2015

Returning artists

Here is a list of the artists I could find who returned to Eurovision but for a different country.
This is a quick list so I  have not included if they were solo or part of different bands/groups

I am not saying that this list is 100% fool proof but was the result of a quick scour of the internet.
The list DOES NOT cover people who have been also been backing singers for other acts or people who have written entries either. If I tried to do this I would be here forever.


Jean Philippe - France 1959, Switzerland 1962
Siw Malmkvist - Sweden 1960, Germany 1969
Romuald Figuies - Monaco 1964, Luxembourg 1969, Monaco 1974
Tereza Kesovija - Monaco 1966, Yugoslavia 1972
Michèle Torr - Luxembourg 1966, Monaco 1977
Maessen sisters - Netherlands 1970, Belgium 1977 (Stella as solo Belgium 1982)
Ireen Sheer - Luxembourg 1974, Germany 1978, Luxembourg 1985
Anne-Marie David - Luxembourg 1973, France 1979
Elisabeth Andreassen - Sweden 1982, Norway 1985, Norway 1994, Norway 1996
Anna Vissi - Greece 1980, Cyprus 1982, Greece 2006
Elpida - Greece 1979, Cyprus 1986
Eiríkur Hauksson - Iceland 1986, Norway 1991, Iceland 2007
Doris Dragović- Yugoslavia 1986, Croatia 1999
Feminnem - Bosnia-Herzegovina 2005 , Croatia 2010
Željko Joksimović - Serbia and Montenegro 2004, Serbia 2012

BOLD - winner of that year
ITALIC - did not qualify, only performed in the semi final

2016 recap 5

This is the last podcast of the year but also the first proper podcast of the year.
Confused? You should be!

In the world of Eurovision, things have slowed slightly for the festive period but in Albania they have provided our first song/singer pairing of the season. There's also some interesting news coming from Spain!

As I explain next year I hope to start the bibberlycheese podcast which will extract the 'what I've been up to' part of this podcast. I am starting to psych myself out of it slightly so to show your support you can find the twitter feed for this at @bibberlycheese on twitter. As I explain I don't really want to do a podcast if nobody is going to listen to it...

Music is from The Netherlands, Norway and Ireland


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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016Recap005


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Saturday 19 December 2015

2016 recap 4

BAH HUMBUG!!!!

I am certainly not in the Christmas spirit! Shopping trips have been the bane of my life and I have a little moan about the down and down of shopping (especially at Christmas) when you have a little one in tow. Let's hope next year I am just that little bit more organised :/

There is of course a brief rundown of the ESC news including the announcement of who the host(s) is/are.

I then follow up my appearance on the FABULOUS Eurodummies podcast and try to explain why I don't like ABBA - it seems it is all a problem with timing....

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016Recap004


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Friday 4 December 2015

2016 recap 3

Not really that much going on Eurovision wise but we catch up nonetheless. If we're not careful ESC 2016 will be turning into a best of edition (or maybe that should be worst of!)

I start off talking about what's been happening this week - or should that be what HASN'T happened this week. I had a day in my new job this week which was eye opening! Plus you get a small insight into why I'm not really looking forward to Christmas this year. It's not so much that I'm not looking forward to it more that so much is happening right now it's hard when everybody you know looks so content and happy.... and you're not.

However I do get over myself by having a good old rant about a certain country XD

Music comes from Portugal, Spain and Hungary.


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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016Recap003


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Friday 27 November 2015

jESC2015recap

Here the last Junior Eurovision podcast of the year.

I look back over this year's event, which I think was a pretty good one! I also look forward to Eurovision 2016 as there has been a flurry of last minute activity - some of which feels a little odd!

I start off though by looking back at the last week, which has not been the best. Nothing really *bad* has happened but at times I've felt a little left out of things and unconfident about everything. I am going to my new place of work next week to do a few days of settling in, which I am honestly looking forward to, but so much is preventing me from shouting it from the rooftops and feeling proud of myself. I guess there are days, in my case weeks, where you just feel like you're not doing a good job - mainly because nobody tells you that you are...

Junior tracks this week come from Malta, Belarus, France and Georgia.


PS - here's the link to my youtube account with my past Karaoke Secret Santa posts https://www.youtube.com/user/squiresag

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/jESC2015recap


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Friday 20 November 2015

jESC 2015

This weekend sees the 13th Junior Eurovision Song Contest being held in Sofia, Bulgaria!
In the second part of the podcast I go through the draw and talk about what I've seen in the rehearsals this week. Although I am not there in person I have been able to keep up to speed with the goings on thanks to  the vodeos on the Junior Eurovision website AND the people at ESCInsight and EuroDummies - your  daily news features have proved quite informative! 
As you will hear, I have no idea what's going to happen... but that's a good thing... right...?

First of all I go through my week. Unfortunately it hasn't gone very well :(


Junior Eurovision songs this week come from Latvia, Russia, Sweden and Armenia.



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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/jESC2015


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Friday 13 November 2015

Junior ESC 2015

Quite a lot packed in today's podcast.

In the first part I talk about what I've been up to this week - freezers, interviews and Teletubbies...
All shall be revealed!

Then I give my best potted history lesson of what Junior Eurovision is and a brief run down of the rules and how the rules have changed over the years - for better and for worse!

Finally I do a review of all 17 jESC entries in about 15 minutes... That's MUCH shorter than the actual show so why bother watching it ! 

The song playlist is all Junior related and come from Spain, Serbia, Bulgaria and Norway and next week I'll play some more Junior Eurovision songs



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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/Junioresc2015


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Saturday 7 November 2015

2016 recap 2

Sorry about the long delay!!!
As I explain at the start, A LOT of things have been going on including numerous illnesses and doing a podcast has not been my greatest priority, but I have hopefully got back up to date with the latest Eurovision news.

In the last part of the podcast, I talk about a new venture I'm about to undertake. Although this is a much more personal thing, rather than a themed podcast, I am hoping you will enjoy the window in the my world with a Squirt. That said it won't ALL be baby related - there will be scope to look at a wider cultural spectrum and indulge some of the other things I enjoy, and enjoy bitching about,  in life! I really hope you join me on this journey :)

Music comes from UK, Bulgaria, Portugal and a German band with quite a few Eurovisiony connections


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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016Recap002


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PS - here is the said "Squirt Desk"

Friday 2 October 2015

2016 recap 1

The September deadline has come and gone - Eurovision season is officially OPEN!!!!!
Loads of countries have decided to take the plunge in 2016 and may of them have already set national final dates - one has even selected its entrant!!!!
In this podcast I take a quick swipe at some of the basic news in Euroland including the unexpected announced from the BBC regarding their selection process this year. It seems to have got many of the fans hot under the collar and a bit too excited but as you will hear I think this is a very basic announcement which many may be a reading a little bit too much into.

Music comes from Lithuania, Luxembourg and Iceland with my final track being a bit of my birthday story :)

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016Recap001


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Friday 7 August 2015

Pleasing the Swedish crowd

Following on from the previous podcast, and in some ways looking forward to next year's Eurovision, I look back to the 5 entries for Sweden that were sang in Sweden and if they were worthy of pleasing the home crowd.
I take a look at the Melodifestivalens of those years and look at how the contest structure and its voting has changed over the decades. What might Sweden come up with in 2016 to please the home crowd?

At the end of the podcast I hint at a new venture that might be happening here at Squirty towers - something I hope you'll follow me into (and enjoy) as well as possibly offering a little bit of moral support :)


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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/Swedishcrowd


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Friday 24 July 2015

Pleasing the home crowd

The the first of two related podcasts I look at the songs that are sung on home turf - the year after they win. There is a certain freedom with coming after a country's win.

As many Eurovision fans know it is quite rare for a country to win on home turf. In these modern times, as Eurovision has become bigger and more expensive, countries might try a little less hard to win again!

We have a number of songs through the decades - some more memorable and successful than others.
Next time, the second part of this theme will look specifically at 6 times winners Sweden and looking at the songs that entertained their home crowd. I may also look back the the recent editions of Melodifestivalen and try and figure out what might be turning up in Stockholm

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/Pleasingthehomecrowd


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Saturday 11 July 2015

ESC Influences

There are many things that seep through from one Eurovision to the next. Sometimes it is the formation of an act, a style or genre, choreography or gimmicks. Sometimes is something not even in the contest proper that makes its mark.

In this podcast we look back at some of the seminal songs of Eurovision and see how their influences leaked through into the backbone of what Eurovision is about. We also look at the 2015 performances and wonder which will influence the crop of 2016 the most...
(Plus gurglings from Squirt)

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/ESCinfluences


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Friday 26 June 2015

2015 Eurovision Awards - part 2

So we say a final goodbye to the 2015 Eurovision season by having part 2 of the DVVHolland awards.

Squirt is a little quieter in this episode but does make a few gurgles towards the end of the podcast.

The awards given out today are, in no particular order...
Best use of wind machine
Audience participation award
Invisibility award
Are they miming? award
Invisible backing singers award
The Chiara memorial award for best wink
and a special award for who I consider to be the *real* winners of this years Eurovision.

I also explain that on the next podcast we are going to be looking into our crystal balls...

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2015Awards2


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Saturday 20 June 2015

2015 Eurovision Awards - part 1

It's been a few weeks since Eurovision has come and gone so it's time to give out some awards - although not everybody might be pleased as to why it has been given to them!

Having chewed the fat a little and given it thought here's the first round of the 2015 awards.
The categories being fought out in this episode are...

Best background
The WTF award
Bucks Fizz costume change award
Worst staging
Best prop
Best finger point

Who would your winners be...? Listen on to find out who we chose and if you agree...

We start, however, not with one of our award winners but with this year's winner of the infamous Barbara Dex award, Trijntje Oosterhuis.

When I started the podcast, Squirt was a little dozey but as you will hear he decided to gatecrash the recording  more and more as the recording went on...

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2015Awards1


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Friday 12 June 2015

ESC wrap up

In the words of the song this is the 'calm after the storm'

This is the time of year many an ESC fan gets struck down with a condition worse than any case of Man Flu - PED (Post Eurovision Depression) but never fear, Eurovision is never too far away... The deadline for songs being too early for the 2016 contest is only round the corner (September) and preparations are already in place for Junior Eurovision being held in Bulgaria in November.

Firstly I discuss the 'palaver' regarding the voting - I am a bit one sided on this argument as I was not a fan of the Italian entry!!! Many felt that the split voting results showed that the televoters and jury did not quite see eye to eye. What can be done to make  it more level - or is  the fact that they are not the same a great leveller? I think of ways  round the problem and resurrect my jury idea based on ski jumping.

Then I look at how smoothly the show ran this year, how the hosts fared, what the staging was like and of course my opinion on the booing. Finally I take a glimpse into my crystal ball and wonder what Sweden might have in store for us next year.

If you have any ideas for the up coming DVVHolland awards for 2015 - get in touch!

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/ESC2015Wrapup


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Tuesday 26 May 2015

DVVH on the BBC

On Friday, the day before Eurovision, I returned to BBC Radio Bristol to talk to Steve Yabsley about this year's Eurovision song contest. For those of you who remember I did the same last year and was asked back again this year!

As you will see I made some fairly insightful predictions...!

Here is the  BBC iplayer link -  http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02r42zy - however I will put up a file of the audio some time soon. My bit is about 30mins in :)

Saturday 16 May 2015

SOA 2015 episode 5

It's the last episode of Shite or Alright and so here ends our 2015 Eurovision journey... until we al get pissed off about who qualifies and then one someone shit or predictable wins.... XD

 During this podcast we uncover a few home truths..
Who has Måns Zelmerlöw been taking singing lessons from?
What did Mørland do in his early youth?
How much does Mr Jopijedd not like Azerbaijan?
When will Eurovision be renamed "The Voice of Eurovision" ?
What did Mr Jopijedd think happened to Junior Eurovision contestants once the show is over?

And we unveil our overall winner - which now has been given the kiss of death and fail by getting a DNQ...


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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/soa1505


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Thursday 14 May 2015

SOA 2015 episode 4

We start as we mean to go on by starting with a really inappropriate introduction... in the meaning that it is totally untrue!

There is some excitement as we celebrate a very lonely key change, @mrs_forky gets very angry at @jopijedd for not liking one of her favourite songs... we also get a bit UKIP (in a very ironic way) but most of all we spend most of the time wondering what the songs sound like in a non-plagiaristic way of course...

If you know what Plaid Cymru is you might get one of the jokes. we do far too many Mrs Brown-esque "that's nice", we segue into "Czarna Dziewczyna" for no reason whatsoever and Squirt gets quite gurgly in the second half and seemingly joins in by headbanging to one of the songs!

Plus - VRT - if you are by any chance listening, we suggest who Belgium needs to send or at least write their entry next year... PLEASE...!

This podcast has 2 very odd adverts but its also brought to you by Yazz and the ministry of Hot Mess.



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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/soa1504


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Monday 11 May 2015

SOA 2015 episode 3

Another 8 entries are put through the wringer by @mrs_forky and @jopijedd !

This week starts off on a topical note with a late election result... any similarity to any real political parties referenced in the sketch is of course totally co-incidental...

This podcast brings up many issues...
How many gimmicks is too many?
Should anybody be able to do Eurovision?
Can a song be too earnest?
Does anybody else know of Rolando the opera singer bloke?

We also have more TOP QUALITY* adverts

*possibly not....

One country in this episode gets a full 10 points - will that be matched in the final 2 episodes...?

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/soa1503


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Thursday 7 May 2015

SOA 2015 episode 2

More silliness, more pointless adverts and this time ACTUAL baby noises! He does exists everyone!!!

This episode starts of with a random special guest... or is it...?
Lots of silliness to be had during the podcast but mostly we end up posing many a meaningful, and not so meaningful, question.. Most of which have answers far from our grasp...

Which song helped us create our own 'forgotten' girl supergroup?
Which song needs to restyle itself as a dance track?
Which act do we imagine Princess Charlotte would like?
Which song do we think is a bit Studio Brussel?
Which duet make me think of 3-2-1?
Which act is more SUBO than ASBO?
Which song is Vince Clarke circa 1995?

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/soa1502


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Monday 4 May 2015

SOA 2015 episode 1

Better late than never but here is our first of 5 "Shite or Alright" podcasts showcasing this year's 40 eurovision entries about the battle it out in Vienna!

@mrs_forky and @jopijedd are back for another year but this year we have an extra voice on the podcast as our brand new baby son Marcus (also known colloquially as Squirt) gurgles and coos away in the background. He is surprisingly chilled out during this episode - don't expect it to be like this EVERY podcast!

We start as we mean to go and and actually end up not saying very much at all about anything... except for making random and quite narrow cultural references

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/soa1501


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Friday 17 April 2015

Early Predictions

A very quick wrap up podcast before Eurovision in Concert and my own impending delivery!

I go over my top 40 and look at who I would say my 10 qualifiers for semis one and two would be. As you will see, I think there are some shoo-ins but a few borderline cases. The big question is, will any country lose their 100% qualification record?

Finally I have a little moan-ette about pregnancy and list some of the things that have annoyed me and got me down during the last 9 months.

Don't know when the next podcast will be but there will probably be an extra body in the room when I do it!!!

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You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2015earlypredictions


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Friday 27 March 2015

MY TOP 40 OF ESC 2015

01) Slovenia
Everything but the kitchen sink... and works!
This individual ditty is jam-packed full of visual and aural ticks. The headphone motif is odd yet totally memorable, the miming violinist is genius and Marjetka's unusual tone engages you from the start. An utterly compelling song with a upbeat and positive feeling. I love the message of the song... it's ok... I'm not crying, I just have something in my eye...

02) Belarus
And about time too that Belarius sent a decent song!
A proper little pop song with a great structure. The recent revamp of the song did it massive favours as it helped build the song up better from the start and get rid of some dead air. He's not a bad singer, although I'm not sure about the Matrix-eque look is quite him. We can only hope the hourglass/sand timer/cog wheel meme is kept on for the stage.

03) Belgium
Lordi, Lorde, Loic....
Loic wrote this number with help from his Voice Belgique mentor and should be the hit of the contest. He is a great performer, has an intriguing vocal pitch and timbre, a slightly Frenchy accent as well as being a great mover and some eye candy for the boys and girls to ogle at. However the draw did not fall in his favour but surely class will out...?

04) FYR Macedonia
If One Republic did Eurovision.
Another radio friendly, contemporary number. Although the mother tongue version was good, the English version connects more and the slightly slower backing track has a melancholic quality that makes you listen. His voice sounds so good live and I just hope he can connect to the camera - and doesn't do any "drunk dad at a wedding" dancing.

05) Sweden
Was it all about the artwork...? Possibly.
The song is a very Swedish aural production. Måns is a confident performer with an casual and approachable look. Has a great build to the first up-tempo chorus but as we now know the M-fest visuals are out - what will we see in Vienna? I commented that the song was over reliant on the projection and this might be an opportunity for a total revamp.

06) Estonia
Film Noir meets post-communist '60s retro pop.
Another duet, another melancholic song but this has an interesting quality which could make it a huge radio hit. Many criticise their black and white live performances of lacking in charisma, interaction and appeal but that's exactly what the song is about. It's not a typical Eurovision song but they reek of class and style and will be loved by juries.

07) Norway
Norway is a dark place... and has found its meme.
After the success of last year's internalistic, brooding ballad this time they've got a duet to sing act 2. An emotional and well harmonised ballad and wide in terms of vocal range. The camera work and production of this in the National Final was genius and can hopefully be replicated in Vienna. But what we all want to know is... what *did* he do...?

08) Lithuania
Mumford and girlfriend.
This feel good song interacts well with the audience but also makes the singers connect with each other. Probably the only happy duet of the whole bunch. The song is a little predictable in structure but has a couple of great hooks. However what we will really wonder about is how they will be doing *that kiss* in the middle of the song...

09) Australia
One-off appearance = One-off win?
Rumours of a ballad from his last album being the entry didn't seem to go down well with the Euro-fans and may have influenced this last-minute songwriting session. This has a great beat and will no doubt have support from the crowd. Will have an amount of novelty value but is cool enough to be heard on many radio stations around the continent.

10) Latvia
Too classy? Too modern?
This girl has such an amazing voice. The self-penned song shows off the different facets of her range and tone, so much so that one might think this was a duet or a trio rather than one girl singing the whole thing. She is also visually striking (i.e. damn beautiful) and the way she presents herself with the armography is very individual.

11) Cyprus
Male version of "Stronger every minute".
Another melancholy ballad but with a gentle backing track and poignant lyrics. A favourable draw could also beef up its chances in the semi-final. John is a geeky looking singer which may appeal to hipsters, radio 2 listeners AND the singer-songwriter lovers. The a cappella part in the middle needs to be spot on to make full impact. Less may well be more.

12) Romania
The best of the non-English entries.
The song has a lilting melancholic quality, so much so you don't need a full translation to understand what the song is about. Can imagine many Romanians and eastern Europeans voting for the sentiment of the song in their adoptive countries. Visually they need to make use of the backdrops, like in the music video, as otherwise it will lack a sense of show.

13) Poland
A ballad... with a tune... AND a chorus!
This gentle ballad conveys great meaning and you can tell that it comes from a genuine place. The chorus has a great repetitive basis, especially for a ballad but never quite gets boring. Should also be easy to sing live. Will be interesting to see how (or IF) they use the singer's disability to sell the song. Got a great draw in the semi which should see it through easily.

14) Israel
A bit like the clap - annoying but catchy.
First of all the video is hideous and I hope none of the dancing or styling tips will be seen on stage in Vienna. Secondly the lyrics are totally abysmal and the rhymes are excruciating. This all said and done it is a thumping summer song with a Mediterranean/Eastern flavour which stands out amongst the grey ballads and female empowerment songs.

15)  The Netherlands
12 points from the Geordie jury goes to...
This Anouk-penned number has a great but very repetitive chorus. A strong and safe radio friendly song which has a predictable structure and not many words. I feel the tempo could be just a tiny bit quicker and maybe the beat could get stronger or more pronounced by the time the song gets to the end. I just hope she doesn't come across too mutton dressed as lamb...

16) Hungary
Less is most definitely more.
This gentle peace ballad at the very least seems genuine. Although billed as a solo piece this song is more a choral number and wouldn't work without the blending of all the other voices and it's. The song has been slightly shafted by its position in the semi and may have come out better next to two ballads rather than between 2 up-tempo numbers.

17) Iceland
Queen Elsa meets Pocahantas meets Emmelie de Forest.
Maria does a very good job of playing the cute but feisty pixie with a big voice. A great- almost Junior eurovision - song that builds well from the very beginning. However the recent rewrite was a bit odd as it makes it feel like the song should be called "one step at a time" No fist punching required though. A little bit sad about the loss of the dancers.

18) Germany
It's not the winning but the taking part that counts.
Although Ann Sophie did not win the national final I think this was probably the best outcome. A contemporary number with a shouty - very shouty - chorus. I hope she changes out of that old, lounge/cruise ship/cabaret outfit and wears something more modern instead. Won't stir up too much emotion but won't offend anybody either.

19) Moldova
It's like Aaron Carter never went out of fashion.
I am surprised that this song is so high up my list but the real lack of really poppy up-tempo numbers have caused this to happen. Although he seems like a total egotist with an attitude to match - the song, especially the chorus, is very catchy. Let's just hope the Conchita joke is left behind or he might get a slap... actually keep it in, Eduard...

20) Austria
A case of hosts playing safe.
This is a pretty inoffensive song which sounds like about 3 other songs rolled into one. The piano on fire is a nice touch at the end although I hope the singer doesn't use flammable hairspray OR has a decent haircut before May. Has a nice radio friendly, bluesy, 60s feel which will appeal or possibly provide a much needed break to go and put the kettle on.

21) Russia
Do what I say don't do what I do.
As a song this is a good old fashioned, lighters up, anthemic ballad with a great hook in the chorus. If it was all about the song, and not about where it's from this would be up there as a possible winner. However, as someone with a conscience, I listen to this song and feel like this is so totally wrong. Like last year, the song will be accompanied by its own booing chorus.

22) Serbia
I will survive - Eurovision style.
One would think I like this song, but there is so much about this that puts me off. She is a great singer and the backing track is amazing. The kick in the middle of the song really makes it stand out. The song sounded much better in Serbian plus the English lyrics are just cringe worthy. It feels really patronising, far too touchy-feely and too in your face.

23) Georgia
Winner of the Warrior battle.
A feisty little number with a distinctive sound and look. That said the lyrics are odd, if not totally made up, and slightly indecipherable. It's had a bit of a revamp which has beefed up the backing track but it totally swamps Nina's vocal. She looks like the type of girl who may kill if she doesn't qualify so you may well want to vote for her just in case...

24) Montenegro
Željko Joksimović and his new puppet play thing.
Last year Montenegro finally qualified with a song Željko could only write in his dreams. This year they have him on board and have sent the same old Željko Eurovision ballad. The last minute is actually not bad but it's a shame you fall asleep before you get there. Knez looks and sounds like a decent bloke but he won't be who we're talking about.

25) Italy
Three Tenors Juniors.
A great stylistic choice and really stands out against everything being sent this year. At least you can recognise that this is so typically and culturally Italian. However if this is not your style of music or impressed by this kind of thing then you are going to find it annoying. It feels like it should be more spectacular than it is and could be visually boring.

26) Czech Republic
Soft... Rock... Hallelujah.
It's nice to see them back and have returned with something very typical. As time goes on this is slowly moving up my chart as it is at least different to the run of the mill ballads this year. His voice is very Eastern European and therefore distinctive. The chorus has shades of Metallica about it. Could be a real surprise qualifier with a good show.

27) Albania
It feels like no song is good enough for her voice.
The replacement for "Diell" is much more punchier than the original chosen song but the new song's 'chorus' is terribly repetitive to the point where it starts getting on your nerves. Not sure it stands out enough in its semi-final. There is no doubt that she can sing but her voice can sound a bit screechy and a bit like a kazoo or sea lion when she pushes it.

28) United Kingdom
Doop meets Birds Eye Potato Waffles.
At least it's not a ballad and at least it's trying to be lighted hearted and fun. Could be quite the visual show if any of the ideas from the video are taken into account. The main issue is that the song is over produced and might not be anywhere near as impressive live. Don't even think about who in their right mind would actually vote for it though... 

29) Finland
Eurovision's first (and possibly last) Punk number.
This has had a lot of publicity and much has been made of the lack of song and its shortness. As a punk song, it does exactly what it says on the tin. It is anti-eurovision and anti-establishment and from that point of view they win if they qualify and win if they don't. I just hope people don't get too 'sympathetic' because if they do, they've missed the point.

30) Ireland
Lucie Silvas meets Delta Goodrem *snore*
This song as a modern singer-songwriter ballad which probably would be easily heard on any mainstream Irish radio station. It may well be simple but in ESC terms it is so relaxed it is horizontal. The verses and choruses don't really have much differentiation and she is another singer who sounds like she needs to give her nose an good old blow.

31) Portugal
Portugal doing what they do best. Being Portugal.
I will give them some credit for choosing quite a modern sounding song with a relatively straightforward tune. Although radio friendly, I'm not sure it's Eurovision friendly. I'm a fan of mother tongues but this would probably improve in English. Leonor's voice is weak and combined with the Portuguese language it just sounds like Dido with a bad cold.

32) Switzerland
Nothing like Destiny's Child, nothing to see here.
The recent revamp really put me off this once powerful and voice led ballad. She's one of the better singers of this year but the song now sounds far too aggressive and feisty in the backing track and seems incongruous to message in the lyrics. If she turns up looking like a 'moody Pocahontas' as she does in the video she will have absolutely no chance.

33) Malta
Next up - the indecipherable lyrics round.
Another song that seems to be a hit with the fans but not me. An example where they've only bothered to write a chorus and even that sounds like nails on a chalk board or the whining sound you get on a microphone. The singer has a really over-active mouth and it feels like she's over-doing it. Someone needs to tell her that less is sometimes more.

34) San Marino
Less Frozen, more like a damp squib.
When this duo was announced I was all set for a nice bit of  up-tempo Junior Eurovision fun and frolics to spice up an otherwise serious sounding adult Eurovision. A song that shows initial promise before going Disney or should that be parody of Disney. Instead we got an over indulgent ballad that could have been performed (better) by Tor and Bettan.

35) Azerbaijan
Not the comeback I was expecting.
Was hoping to hear something edgy and more rock influenced but this odd and fragmented number has me confused. The verses are instantly forgettable and only the first line of the chorus stays in my head. The changes in backing track tempo frazzle my brain and make it stop start. Plus I'm still not sure what the hell it has to do with hours... or wolves...

36) France
Sentimental, but someone forgot to write a song.
Another case of great idea, awful execution. The story behind the song projects a great idea, especially taking into account current politics, but the lack of pace and ooomph leaves me lacking. Live versions have, though, seen some changes in key and melody that could see it be redeemed. She doesn't seem like a bad singer but she has been made to look drab and uninspired.

37) Greece
Rise like a soufflé.
The song is a real snooze-fest and totally uninspiring. It doesn't sound very Greek which could be a plus point for me but actually makes it sound run of the mill in this year's contest. Maria is not a bad singer but her pronunciation is awful and her voice is really over-breathy. Only gets going in the final minute when it basically a rip off of last year's winner.

38) Armenia
A significant idea that has now lost all meaning.
I thought the whole point of this song and act was to commemorate the Armenian Genocide? But apparently it's not about that at all, so much so they changed the title of the song to "Face the Shadow" which has no meaning in relation to what they are singing. A rip-off of 'Volterai' and sung by 6 singers whose voices blend like oil and water.

39) Spain
Most over-rated song this year.
It doesn't go anywhere and she sounds like she's trying to be Shakira on "Stars in their Eyes". The only memorable thing about the chorus is the yelling at the start and even that sounds like the mating call of a very lonely goat. The video, which was pushed and pushed for what seemed like months was totally over-hyped and was style over substance and that substance is mush.

40) Denmark
...and no expense was spent...
There are absolutely no redeemable qualities about the song, the production, the performance - anything. It's made worse by the fact that the only passable aspect of the song is the input of the two female backing singers and even then they look like they've been plonked there, told not to talk to the band, made to look like sore thumbs and even then - they're miming!

Monday 23 March 2015

SEMI FINAL DRAWS!!!!

Hopefully the next big piece of Eurovision news will be the running order of the two semi-finals.

I've had a go at setting my 'perfect' semi final draws. It's a much harder job than you think it is going to be ! I tried to take certain things into account and tried not to think about other factors...

1) ACT TYPES Have tried to keep similar acts types away from each other with at least 1 different act between e.g. not have two duets, groups, solo male or solo females in a row.
2) SONG TYPES Have also tried to keep the show fresh by not having 2 similar tempo or genre songs next to each other, especially if the act types are similar.
3) GEOGRAPHY Have tried not to think too much about geography when placing songs unless those countries has a song of similar genre, style or culture e.g. balkan ballad.
4) FAVOURITES Have also tried not to put my own favourite songs in positions that might favour them or on purposely treat songs I don't like unfairly.
5) OPENERS & CLOSERS Have attempted to choose the song in the first half that might be the most fitting opener and the song in the second half that would be a memorable closer. Although this might be seen as 'favouriting' I feel it is important to have songs that set a tone and create a bit of a full stop.

Semi 2 was much harder to place than semi 1 mainly because there were so many similar acts and genres, especially in the second half, that spacing them out in a fair and equal manner was quite tricky.

SEMI FINAL 1
SEMI FINAL 2
1st half
2nd half
1st half
2nd half
01) Netherlands
02) Armenia
03) Greece
04) Finland
05) Moldova
06) Estonia
07) FYR Macedonia
08) Belgium   
09) Albania
10) Belarus
11) Russia
12) Serbia
13) Denmark
14) Hungary
15) Romania
16) Georgia    
01) San Marino
02) Malta
03) Czech Republic
04) Portugal
05) Norway
06) Montenegro
07) Ireland     
08) Lithuania


09) Cyprus
10) Switzerland
11) Latvia
12) Azerbaijan
13) Iceland
14) Israel
15) Slovenia
16) Poland
17) Sweden


It's not an exact science and there are so many ways of looking and interpreting the raw list before sorting them. It's also difficult not knowing what the ORF producers have in mind. They may well have their own agenda, priorities or judgements on what genres songs are in when it comes to the ordering.
Hopefully we should know the real running order very soon !


In the next blog post I will be starting counting up from 40 to my number 1 - so keep tuned on a daily basis so you can find ANOTHER reasons to disagree with me XD

Sunday 22 March 2015

MONTENEGRO

The Montenegrin entry was revealed in two parts. The singer was revealed way back in October but it was not until 18th March that the official video and release of the song was made public. In Vienna, Knez will be singing the Montenegrin-language song "Adio" (Goodbye).

Knez was internally selected by RTCG but very little was known about the song for quite a long time. It was then announced in February that the song was going to be co written by Balkan stalwart of Eurovision, Željko Joksimović. Rumours were also abound that the song was more 'up tempo' that some of his other Eurovision works which have all been quite traditional instrumented ballads.

The song a very typically composed Željko Joksimović entry. It has a distinctive long intro, odd timing and phrasing, classical orchestration, echoing drumming which culminates in a dramatic finish. It is very much in the Balkan ballad genre although it's tempo does deviate in the final minute. For those who listen to a lot of Eurovision, this song will feel very familiar and find it quite easy to listen to but for those just watching on the night many might find this tricky to get into until the final minute when the pace picks up a little bit

Knez has been an active part of the Balkan music scene since the 1990's and has extensive experience. Even at the age of 6 he was entering competitions and festivals in his native  Podgirica (known as Titograd at that time). Although known as a pop artist, he has had hits with songs with ballad, dance and turbofolk elements.

The video clip gives us idea as to what we might expect in Vienna. We could see him with 5 other backing singers although I think this unlikely as the instrumentation has been a key visual in many Željko Joksimović songs. I guess we will see 2-3 standing backing singers with 2-3 musicians, who may also provide some backing, on stage. I don't think we will have any dancers. Knez seems to emote and move quite well during the song and hopefully he can transmit that feeling and passion into the cameras on stage, especially with the song not being in a well-spoken or recognised tongue.

I have been a huge fan of Montenegro and was really looking forward to the unveiling of this song. To be honest I was really disappointed. I was hoping for something much more ooomphy and something possibly more 'out of the box' which is what I associate Montenegro to be. Personally, I am not a fan of  Željko Joksimović's work as I find it all too samey - which is the issue I have here. After a number of listens it still felt quite stale and static although after about a week of listening it is starting show more of it's light and shade. It is only really the last minute of the song that saves it from being a real Balkan dirge. Should it qualify? No. Will it? Possibly - and that will be down to people fawning over Željko rather than anything Knez and his team will be doing on the stage.


ARTIST - Knez
SONG - Adio (Goodbye)
MUSIC -  Željko Joksimović
LYRICS - Željko Joksimović, Marina Tucaković, Dejan Ivanović

AUSTRALIA

The Australian entry was revealed in two parts. The singer was revealed on 4th March during a SBS press conference held at Sydney Opera House hosted by Julia Zemiro and Sam Pang. The song was released on 16th March via a video clip on youtube. Singing Australia's entry will be Guy Sebastian and his song is called "Tonight again".

The surprise inclusion of Australia as a 'guest' participant was announced on 10th February. During the press conference Guy suggested that the song would be a reworking of one of his current album tracks and more than likely one of his ballads. However when the song announcement came it seems that in the weeks after his Eurovision selection he worked with his team and band to come up with something especially for Eurovision.

The song is an up tempo number with hints of "Uptown Funk" and "A little less conversation" about it. It starts of quite reserved and slow then moves into the 'do what you want' bridge which cranks the whole thing up a gear. The chorus is very simple and straightforward and the title is repeated several times at the end of it. The end also allows Guy to show off his vocal range and ability. The backing track is very contemporary and in a style which is very in at the moment. It's a bit of a shame he can't have a full band behind him as this is the kind of song that would benefit from that look.

Malaysian-born Guy Sebastian has been a star in Australia for over 10 years. In 2003 he won the very first series of Australian Idol and in 2004 he took part in World Idol where he came 7th. He is a very versatile singer and songwriter having had hits in the pop, r'n'b, soul and gospel genres. As you can tell he had lots of experience and have played to large crowds so one should think he won't be too fazed by the thought of singing to a Eurovision audience.

I think this is going to be quite a simplistic set up with Guy and some backing singers to provide mush needed oomph in the chorus. I get the feeling the song is well within his range and I can imagine him not dancing but moving around the stage a lot and interacting and reacting with the crowd who I think will find this one very infectious.

I think that this is a really great song and is something possibly more contemporary than what Eurovision usually trots out. That said if this is a 'guest spot' they have taken the bull by the horns and really gone all out for a spectacular show and to make a real mark on its possible only appearance. If anything, this is a great advert for Guy Sebastian and a chance for him to break out into the European market. Obviously with its connections to UK and Ireland one might expect votes for this song to come from there but I get the feeling that the Germanic countries will love this style, as will the Nordics. I think this is a really summery happy song and may stand out in a final full of possible ballads. Judging a placing is difficult without any prior results to got from but I predict a left hand side placing and would be deserving of a top 8 finish.


ARTIST - Guy Sebastian
SONG - Tonight again
MUSIC - Guy Sebastian, David Ryan Harris, Louis Schoorl
LYRICS - Guy Sebastian, David Ryan Harris, Louis Schoorl

Saturday 21 March 2015

RUSSIA

The Russian entry was eventually released in full on 15th March in the form of its official video clip. Earlier that week it was revealed that Polina Gagarina would be representing the country but due to leaks of part of the song online, the official release was brought forward. Polina will be singing " A million voices" at Eurovision.

Russia was one of the final countries to reveal anything about their Eurovision entry and as time went by it was thought to be done via an internal selection. They released Polina's name on the 11th March but did not give any definite answers on the song, which renewed interest on what she might be singing.

The song is written by part of the team behind Dina Garipova’s 2013 entry "What If" and shares a peace theme that Russian entries have had over the past few years. The start is very atmospheric and has a vibe of Ellie Goulding about it. The song builds up quite nicely and almost seem to have a more soft rock feeling by the end which can make it feel a little dated. The stompy part at around 2:15 is a little out of place as is the repetition of 'singg it out' they would be better just singing the chorus properly.

Moscow born Polina came to fame in 2003 winning the second season of the TV talent show Star Factory and has released singles every year since 2005. She is also a successful actress, songwriter and model. I have watched a few videos of her singing online and have been impressed although most of the live performances I've seen have been in her mother tongue. I did spot a cover of "Rehab" she did which was far too low for her voice and was very breathy but also rather intelligible.

I like Polina's styling in the video and I think this simplistic look would go down well at Eurovision. The video however is a little bit on the worthy side and can't really offer up many clues about what we should expect, although I wouldn't mind the paint throwing effect on the back screens. She will need a decent sized choir for the second half of the song and so I would think having dancers or some kind of 'act' going on would not be required. Being a video it is also hard to judge if she can pull off a performance like that live.

This is one of the higher quality ballads this year. The fact that the backing music is ever changes keeps you engaged with the track. He voice seems very good but does seem very highly produced. This all said I find myself very conflicted. I know that Eurovision is not a platform for political statements and this is almost the opposite. I just cannot hear this song and thing 'this is 2 faced bollocks'. If this had won a fair and square selection show I might not feel so bad but the fact that this has been internally selected and obviously done so almost makes it worse. I can't like this song and won't. This will qualify easily and will probably go top 10 if not top 5. If it wins, there may well be a riot OR a massive boycott next year.


ARTIST - Polina Gagarina
SONG - A million voices
MUSIC - G Alares, J Björnberg, K Noorbergen, L Gutkin, V Matetsky
LYRICS - G Alares, J Björnberg, K Noorbergen, L Gutkin, V Matetsky

Friday 20 March 2015

SAN MARINO

The San Marino entry was part was revealed on March 15th via a clip on SMTV's Telegiornale, followed by the official video premiere the next day. There was then a special edition of "Serenissima" dedicated to the Eurovision entry on the 20th of March. Going to Vienna is the duet of Michele Perniola & Anita Simoncini with ‘Chain of lights".

Back in November it was announced that San Marino would be sending Michele Perniola and Anita Simoncini to Eurovision - both of these singers having performed and represented the principality at Junior Eurovision. The song is once again composed by Ralph Siegel.

This is a mid tempo orchestral song with a Disney-esque feel but slightly changes tact after 2 minutes. The start of the song is particularly ear catching with the strings playing behind Michele's quiet vocal and to which Anita joins in. There sounds like a lot of production on their vocals, almost a bit too much and I think they could have been mixed much better. Their accents are not too bad, although chain of hearts sounds more like chain of farts! At times it sounds like she is the 'star' of the song and that you probably wouldn't miss it if Michele wasn't there at all. The structure of the song is great up until 2 minutes when it seems to suddenly change and go into a more major key ad then there is the talk part which sounds really tacky.

The duo, although young, already have a fair bit of experience. San Marino native, Anita, was part of The Peppermints in 2014, while Italian-born Michele represented the principality with their first jESC entry in 2013 but also won the popular Italian TV series "Ti lascio una canzone" in 2012. Many would put this pairing down to the popularity and press attention that two Junior artists would get graduation to the adult contest, as well as being very different in style to the previous competitor Valentina Monetta.

One should be able to say that the candle theme will play a part somewhere! I don't think this gives us much of a clue as what to expect at Eurovision but one thing I hope they do between now and then is to work on the chemistry between each other. They seem quite good at connecting with the camera but I want to feel like they are a duet singing together not 2 separate people on stage. Hopefully they can work on making their lines come out in a pronounceable way and don't sound too quick and slurred.

In some ways I a disappointed with they style of this song. I was hoping for something a bit more vibrant, a bit more fun, something young and befitting of their age - or even befitting of Junior Eurovision. This is a little stilted and serious and almost feels a little old for them. This said I think they will get a younger vote and may even get a few votes for being possibly the cutest competitors this year. This song is in the first half of semi one which is not only ballad heavy but duet heavy as well. The only chance I feel this has of qualifying is if this is drawn as the opening number as I think it will stand out more than being somewhere stuck in the middle. I don't rate their chances of a second final this year.


ARTIST - Michele Perniola & Anita Simoncini
SONG - Chain of lights
MUSIC - Ralph Siegel
LYRICS - John O'Flynn

2015 show 11

Now that all the national finals are over and the internal selections have all been revealed, there is only on question that remains...

... WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO DO FOR THE NEXT 2 MONTHS?!?!?

In my case I will be waiting patiently for His Babyness to grace me with his presence as well as getting the rest of my reviews on line and then getting down to ranking my top 40.

On today's podcast, I discuss what my baby did when I had a pedicure, I describe how I felt during today's solar eclipse and mouth off about Switzerland (again). I also look at the odds and ends from the last week of finals and reveals with the panic that now we need to work out what's going to win!!!!

Music comes from UK, Denmark and France

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