Sunday, 12 May 2019

Semi-final wishlist

This time next week it'll all be over... apart from the shade, tea and multitudinous layers of data collection/analysis that'll keep us going over the summer.

To make things short and snappy, I have rejigged my ranking to take into account recent rehearsal footage and found the top 10 acts from each semi final. These are as follows:

                                                 SEMI 1                                                  SEMI 2
Australia
Slovenia
Iceland
Czech Republic
Portugal
Greece
Cyprus
San Marino
Georgia
Belgium
--
Belarus
Estonia
Poland
Hungary
Serbia
Finland
Montenegro
Azerbaijan
North Macedonia
Sweden
Austria
Norway
Switzerland
Romania
Netherlands
Russia
Malta
--
Albania
Denmark
Latvia
Ireland
Lithuania
Armenia
Croatia
Moldova

So the countries in green are my top 10 in each semi, the ones in orange are outside my top ten, although as we know anything is possible - also remember that half of the vote is sealed on the Monday night with the jury final, so they need to be great both nights and failures have been secured in the basis of one bad show
In semi 1, even though San Marino and Belgium are in my top 10, they are looking like the least likely of that bunch to get through purely on performance and vocals. Portugal could be a little bit too avant garde for casual Eurovision viewer and Slovenia may well be too quiet and inwards. I feel that there is only a good argument for Finland and Montenegro NOT qualifying so I think that literally any of the other countries could qualify too (although I would rather they didn't!)
Semi 2, for me, is much more clear cut when it comes to who *should * qualify. Out of the songs in orange, Albania and Denmark are the two countries that probably have the best chance of sneaking through, mainly due to the countries voting in that semi. So many countries here are on a bit of a knife edge - Austria, Norway, North Macedonia, Romania - because of lack of neighbours or because their song/staging could be misconstrued, misinterpreted or misunderstood.

It's still very much an open contest! There is also the added complication that the big 5 have drawn their half of the final and all of them bar Germany are in the second half. That, plus the fact Israel are already in position 14, that means that there are only 8 slots left in semi 2 for the rest of the qualifiers fto fight over, and given that Spain and Italy are fan faves they could be given a huge boost by the producer led draw ! 

I'll do another round up on Friday once we know all the finalists AND the grand final draw.

FINALISTS' REHEARSALS

Earlier today the big 5 plus Israel, the host country, had their second rehearsals. Here's how I think they went...


ISRAEL
Kobi starts on the main stage with five backing singers where there are plenty of choreographed moments. At the end Kobi moves down the runway to finish right to the top.  He is dressed smartly although the faux bow tie is a brave move. There are some lovely camera shots and uses of fade in/out. There seems to be a lot of pryo at the end which distracts you from the singing. His voice sounds ok and still has the very individual styles but doesn’t sound yet like he is in 5th gear.

FRANCE
Well I did not see this coming. After disastrous staging attempts in the national final they've pulled something genial out of the bag. Bilal is onstage with a much longer blonde wig which is very striking. He has 2 dancers who are phenomenal and totally bring together the song’s meaning. The video backdrop blends in well in the close ups but keeps the feeling of the song in the long shots. The song seems to have been re-orchestrated too and his backing singers give it a lot of much needed lift. Wow.

SPAIN
Miki has 5 backing singers and they are all inside the prop which is the silhouette of a house (think Finders Keepers!). It helps create a feeling of stopping everything for a party but it is a very big prop for such a small gag. The backdrop is really colourful, dynamic and very memorable. Miki sounds great and the backing singers do a great job of adding extra energy to the whole show although I feel this will be usurped as soon as the audience get involved. However I am yet to see what the wicker man adds to this.

ITALY
Mahmood sounds absolutely on point and looks and sounds really comfortable. The backdrop has themes from the music video which helps push the meaning subliminally and also attract those people who may recognise it. He is on stage with 3 dancers who really need to up their game. Although the choreography is fine their timing is out and then it looks a mess. During the chorus there are far too many chops and changes in camera shots, especially during the clap clap parts and the songs seems to lose its power here.

UNITED KINGDOM
This starts off in black and white before moving into full colour at the first chorus. He is also alone on stage and then his backing singers come on when the song builds up nearer the end. Michael is in black whilst his backing singers are in white. He sounds really comfortable. The camerawork is a little bit predictable and the whole thing just comes across and a bit safe and stereotypical. The wide shots at the beginning are quite puzzling and Michael needs to open his eyes  and make more effort in connecting with the camera.

GERMANY

Much more restrained and less aggressive show than their performance in the national final. The backdrop still has the girls’ faces on it but this is not the main focus of the show. The girls use the walkway really well to signal what the song is about. They are less shouty and their faces seem much more smiley and open which is a good sign. They are dressed differently but predominately black.  The whole thing however is quite uneventful and there are no real distinguishing features.

Saturday, 11 May 2019

SECOND REHEARSALS

Everybody, apart from the automatic finalists, has had their first and second rehearsals - I'll be commenting on them tomorrow. All the stage rehearsing for the semis is now done and dusted - nothing more can be done! Soon we will know which half of the draw the 6 finalists will draw and after each semi final the participants will draw their placing in the post show press conferences.

Monday afternoon will see a full dress run of semi final one followed by a full uninterrupted filmed show. This has two important roles -  in the event of technical difficulties this show will be shown on the Tuesday night, plus this is the show that the 41 national juries will be voting on, you certainly can't win qualification in this show but it certainly can be lost. Semi1 proper will then he held on the Tuesday. This process is the repeated on Wednesday and Thursday for Semi 2.

Here are my last impressions of what's on show in the two semi finals


SEMI 1

CYPRUS
The wet look is not flattering. The male dancers are not really as involved as I would like in from the camera’s perspective seem superfluous. The ‘replay’ part is over egging the pudding. Vocals are not good. Either Tamta or/and her backing singer are out of tune and fighting for supremacy.

MONTENEGRO
The choreography is static and dated but they pretty much nail it. The song seems slower than I remember and I am willing it to get up to speed, which it obviously doesn’t. The outfits actually look quite nice. Their individual voices aren’t bad but together the harmonies don’t quite work.

FINLAND
On the positive side Sebastian sings this really well and is on the beat and in tune. That said the visual are too spaced out and separated – nothing connects. Darude himself is stuck in a corner on keyboard and the dancer is centre stage on the iceberg. If all three were in shot of each other it’d be better.

POLAND
Lots of zoom in/zoom out shots which don’t really work as all they do is emphasise the space and lack of movement. The girls’ dresses look a bit messy and their jackets make the arms up movements shoulder-heavy although their headdresses look lovely. Vocally their voices are very clear.

SLOVENIA
Staging has the openness of space yet also seems small and intimate, almost and the whole thing works. The camera work is clever with reminisces of “Calm after the storm” for Netherlands a few years back. The way the almost ignore the audience and the camera strangely works. Vocals are fine.

CZECHIA
From the outset this looks really fresh and contemporary. Albert hogs most of the camera time dancing and moving around the whole set but the other two also get a look in. The white staging really emphasises the colours on the backdrop and on their clothing. The vocals from all seem clear.

HUNGARY
The stage is filled with gold lines which for the outlines of different shapes and pictures. Although I really like the black and gold staging, having Joci also in black makes him totally invisible – unless that’s the point…? Joci’s voice waivers at times ad at points I feel like he is forcing it a bit too much.

BELARUS
ZENA’s outfit is very different from the national final and the whole thing has been sexed up a bit. There is a lot going on and she gets totally lost with the changing backgrounds and the brightly coloured backing singers. However her voice sounds really clear and powerful in the high parts.

SERBIA
The camera work here is pretty spot on and has a nice balance of near and far shots. The problem here is that Nevena is so busy emoting she is coming across as slightly aggressive. Also at times she sings in such a sway you can’t see her face just a solitary leg. Not a camera friendly performance.

BELGIUM
This unfortunately just comes across as messy and unrehearsed. The background with the wavy stripes is very effective but the way Eliot and his two drummers are dressed looks  sloppy and out of step with the song. Eliot doesn’t look confident in his face and his vocals are not quite on time.

GEORGIA
This is how staging makes an OK song totally amazing. Oto’s personality really ignites in this setting with the floor projections of a walkway the towers of fire and puffs of pyro. The addition of the choir in a line is so effective with the camera angles, Oto could even get away with moving a little less.

AUSTRALIA
The use of the “edge of the world” projection on screen is really effective and make is look like she’s flying. This is a very technical show and lots of things could go very wrong. Kate looks amazing in her dress and looks very calm and collected. Voice was ok but not going full blast.

ICELAND
This now looks very strong. The use of the globe/cog makes a focal point which the others move around. There is a lot of pyro which adds to the vertical backdrop. Unlike many acts there is a lot of movement but it is captured well in the many camera angles. Vocals are sounding good.

ESTONIA
Victor really sounds like he is struggling with the higher notes in the chorus. This is a shame as he is looking very much at home on the stage. You can actually see him too! I question why the stormy background is so strobing because if deflects attention away from Victor which is not a good thing

PORTUGAL
Conan and Joao look well rehearsed and to the trained Eurovision eye this looks pretty much like their national final performance. The green costume has a great sheen to it.To the casual viewer this will probably look and sound really very odd. I am starting to miss the face spoons

GREECE
This sounds absolutely amazing and the visuals on stage are really eye-catching but something here is very amiss Although there is a lot going on it’s all a bit disjointed almost like there is too much. I want to see more of Katerine looking at the camera and fewer wide sweeping shots.

SAN MARINO
The visual effect of the white costumes against the stripy background is effective and creates a lot of extra movement down the camera. Unfortunately we need more actual movement from Serhat but he’s stuck on his podium. Serhat’s vocals are really not the best and seem quite out of tune in places.


SEMI 2

ARMENIA
Srbuk looks quite conservative and formal in her black trouser suit and in the long shots is totally invisible. Her voice seems really clear although during the end part the backing singers are doing most of the singing. The pyrotechnics are a bit OTT and the staggering about is a little disconcerting.

IRELAND
Oh dear, this looks very awkward. You can tell Sarah is being stretched to her chorographical limit because her face looks distant like she’s counting in her head and her vocals seem less than full. On the plus point the set is very individual and I quite like Sarah’s costume and hair.

MOLDOVA
Ana’s sartorial choice is odd, especially as the basic dress is nice but the one puffy sleeve choice makes her look unbalanced. The ‘snow art’ in the background is obviously sped up so makes you wonder why the artist is even there. Anan’s voice is powerful even if her pronunciation is not.

SWITZERLAND
The shots for this are well formed especially as most of them contain Luca and his 4 backing dancers and keep their formation well stuck in your brain. The dancing is slick and Luca is able to join in, in a low-key way. That said I am less pleased with so much red and fuzziness in the background

LATVIA
Most of the camera time is focused on the lead singer who is wearing a green hat, which is a little at odds with the rest of the styling. The bokeh look is used in the background but not as a filter on the camera and the atmosphere is now flat. Sabine’s vocals seem ok although she looks quite nervous.

ROMANIA
This is probably the song which uses the video wall to its best. Ester sings well and when she gets camera time she looks great – apart from that arm! Ester is still dressed a Victorian headmistress but her footwear makes her look stumpy and the two backing singers dressed as schoolgirls.

DENMARK
Leonora sings this well but she should so because she’s sat down for most of it! The bright colours in the backdrop make this eye-catching especially with the monochrome participants in front of it. Visually it has a clear narrative but apart from the chair movements this is rather boring.

SWEDEN
Vocally this sounds fine although I’d like the backing singers turned up more, mainly because they bring so much richness to the song. The strobing in the background is a little monotonous and could be flashier and more random. John is looking a bit self-conscious, especially his left arm.

AUSTRIA
Goosebumps. The whole auditorium is blacked out and Paenda is stood in a spotlight. There are streaks of light flashing around her and the triangles on the roof light up and it looks truly magical. Her voice is a little shrill but it actually complements the emotion of the song. Good work.

CROATIA
The ending part has too many long shots and once again he’s invisible although this time it’s white against white. The stage looks better when in light colours. Roko is wearing his gold wings but they don’t affect his voice too much although he looks strained. The fanatical cutting shots don’t fit at all.

MALTA
The adaptation f the backdrop into a giant green screen is an interesting one and although it makes the act pop with colour it looks more like a music video than an actual live performance. Michela’s voice is fine and she looks quite comfortable although I really hope she has a better outfit.

LITHUANIA
Jurij looks like she ditched the jacket when does help him with getting his arm movements right. The shot to the roof with his hand is a good one.Once again the long shots linger for a little too long but shot chopping motif in the chorus does work. Jurij sings ok but a bit pitchy in the chorus.

RUSSIA
The use of the video boxes hones the eye and makes the stage much smaller. The screens build up the story really well and keeps you guessing! Unfortunately the whole thing comes across as very dark and lacking in movement. Sergey seems to be singing ok but the choir are turned up loud.

ALBANIA
Here there are quite a few long shots but they seem to tie in with Jonida’s long notes so don’t seem too out of joint. Her 3 backing singers are visible and are doing a very good job creating the mood. The ring of fire makes finding her very easy She seems very much at ease vocally.

NORWAY
This is starting to look really good now. The use of the long shots brings in the flashing triangles on the roof as well as the video wall landscape. They are also easy to spot throughout and are cohesive but also different. The projections during the joik are beautiful. Sounding good too.

NETHERLANDS
Duncan is sounding really good and his backing singers are also doing a nice job. Having Duncan sat at the piano really does not work for me, he feels distant, distracted and not looking at the audience or the camera. The mottled sky background fades in really nicely to the blackness around him.

NORTH MACEDONIA
Tamara looks very striking in her green dress and blond hair. The mirror effect is used off and on which is not a bad call. Her voice sounds good without feeling too strained. She’s not quite catching the camera when looking straight. Personally, I would like to see more open hand gestures rather than fists.

AZERBAIJAN
This is visually very striking. Chingiz is stood against a triangle and 2 robot arms projects lines on him. On the backdrop there is a gold heart beating in time with the music. The arena is bathed in red and blue. His voice doesn’t sound bad live but needs to keep the tempo and not quicken up.

Wednesday, 8 May 2019

REHEARSALS ROUND UP

Since Saturday 4th all of the delegations and participants have been gracing the brand new Eurovision stage in Tel Aviv. For many of the acts, especially those chosen via internal selection, this has been the first time we've seen their stage setups. It also gives us a very clear idea about how confident the acts are and how good they are vocally. Of course this is not the be all and and all as over the 2 weeks of rehearsing, nerves and technical issues can ruin their run throughs so not all is lost. Anyway isn't getting things wrong and working through the nerves part of rehearsing? Better to get all that sorted early on I say !

In this mini round up I am going to look at the semi-finalists first rehearsals and comment quickly on their staging ideas as well as any sartorial cues we might be getting. As I will have only watched a few clips, less will be said about vocal performance - that'll probably be something of not to write about after their second go. I'll do a second post on Sunday or Monday where I'll look at the first rehearsal of the six finalists and make some bold predictions !

SEMI FINAL 1

CYPRUS
Tamta is in a tight black jacket and thigh high boots but there is a costume change early on revealing a rathery spangly bondange-esque leotard. She has 4 backing dancers dressed in black also but are sporting very wide hats which really put me off. The backdrop seems quite vertical and colourful but no distinct theme in place.

MONTENEGRO
Pretty predictable. All six of them are on stage, sometimes they sing to each other in pairs sometimes they are singing in a line across the stage. There also seems to be some dancing and fist-pumping choreography. Like in the video they are all wearing slightly different versions of the same white trouser suit with red embellishments..

FINLAND
Darude is static at his little mixing desk while Sebastian works the crowd by going and and down the V-shaped runways. They are also joined by a female dancer on top of what looks like a light up iceberg. The backdrop alternates between plain blue and different environmental videos. Sebastian's leather jeans are hopefully just for practising! 

POLAND
The four girls are covered in large red veils which cover their faces for the first part of the song but their faces however appear on the video wall behind them They are dressed in national dress and large ornate floral headdresses.  They are also spinning on a small platform which is the only movement on stage apart from swaying.

SLOVENIA
The dup are once again dressed in white, with Zala singing, Gašper on guitar and both of them behind a small keyboard. They are centre stage and seem very small on the large space. The stage is very dark with a deep galaxy feel. There is very little to the actual act and I get the feeling that the camerawork will be doing all the work for this one.

CZECHIA
Lake Malawi are having a lot of fun here. The bandmates have small platforms which look like photo frames. They are dressed in bright bold colour blocks which is mirrored in the backdrop. Albert, the lead singer, is having a lot of fun on stage and is moving around a lot and engaging with the wider crowd and catching the eye of the cameras too.

HUNGARY
Joci is dressed in black and is singing centre stage. The backdrop looks like small lines of stars or fire joining up into the far distance. There are pictures of fathers made upf of the small dots too. Joci seems very small on stage and with the dark staging and dark clothes he is almost invisible. Guessing more camera trickery for this.

BELARUS
The props seemingly have not arrived so are dancing around boxes. Zena has two male dancers and lots of unseen backing singers. Her styling and dance routine seems to have got a bit raunchier which is a bit of a shame. The backdrop is very odd which geometric symbols, random animals and a picture of Zena with a multicoloured head...

SERBIA
Nevena has changed very little visually from the national final. Her dress is a little more refined and has a bigger slit on her leg but she still has the odd trinkets on her hands and arms. Behind her, the backdrop is dark switching between storms and creeping frost. She is very static although she does a lot of emoting with her arms.

BELGIUM
The video wall switches between wide geometric horizons and wavy vertical lines. Eliot is joined by a male and female drummer who have two large drums either side of the stage but they also move around the whole stage and join in the chorus arm movements. Eliot does very little. He seems to have come dressed as a parachutist.

GEORGIA
Oto is centre stage with his 5 man choir visible on stage from the start. The backdrop shows clear blue skies and snowy mountains but slowly turns dark and begins to be engulfed by fire. All the singers are dressed in plain black and essentially do very little but the whole effect makes it quite menacing and dramatic.

AUSTRALIA
Instead of one woman up a pole - we have three - and in the biggest shock on the rehearsals Kate is one of them! Kate is wearing her trademark tiara and dressed in a white floaty gown whilst the other two are in black. The backdrop has another space theme but this time it gives the very powerful illusion that she is actually flying.

ICELAND
From the national final performance the only thing that has changed is that the two drums and a hammer has turned into a large cog/sphere being hit by a cat o nine tails. The performance is effectively the same, as is the backdrop and stage outfits, although I suspect some parts will be affected by camera angles.

ESTONIA
Another slot that seems barely changed from the national final. Unfortunately most of this rehearsal was taken up with the filming and re-filming and re-re-filming of the prerecorded insert with the computer aided background near the end of the show. That actually meant very little was done today which could be costly.

PORTUGAL
Conan and his dancer, João, have the same setup and routine as the national final but the visuals are a little different. The backdrop is very red and focuses of the rose motifs. Boh are dressed in lush emerald green pleated outfits. Conan's gold spoon facial adornments are gone and have been replaced with large black sideburns.

GREECE
Katerine is joined by 3 backing singers dressed in powdery yellow dresses and two female fencers with swords. On stage there is also a small gazebo-esque platform and lots of odd little props. Katerine is wearing a heavily jewelled white dress and everybody has big hair. The backdrop in lilac has the motif of petals and flowers.

SAN MARINO
Serhat is on a small platform centre stage with three female singers to his side. In front are two male dancers carrying light up megaphones, mostly used for the 'na na na' bits. The words of the song are also on the backdrop. I was hoping this would be a bit more interactive with the fans in the auditorium so maybe it'll look better on tv.


SEMI FINAL 2

ARMENIA
Srbuk is alone on stage and more high thigh boots are on show. There seems to be a fair bit of choreography but seems quite static. The video wall and lighting seems quite nondescript but wonder if there will be a change of mood during teh key change at the end. The whole thing looks very sparse and little.

IRELAND
On stage there is a table making the stage into a 1950's style diner. The back drop is very colourful with lots of primary colours, chequered and Lichtenstein inspired art work which follows the narrative of the song. Sarach is joined on stage by two female dancers who she interacts with. Wondering if too much is happening.

MOLDOVA
The Ukrainian Mystic Meg sand artist from ages ago is back! Anna is stood at the front of the stage in a white dress with one full length puffy sleeve. The actions of the sand artist (although it looks more like salt than sand) is projected onto the backdrop, although you quickly realise its not actually happening live which spoils the magic to be honest!

SWITZERLAND
Luca is dressed in a t-shirt and trousers and his backing dancers are dressed in red outfits. The backdrop is a bit messy and looks more like television interference than something that would emphasise the power of the song. There seems to be a fair amount of energetic dancing which might affect his vocals.

LATVIA
An almost identikit performance to the one during the national final. The band are spread out on the stage with the singer in the middle. The backdrop has the bokeh effects of lights and makes it quite atmospheric although very little happens on stage. I guess most of the tricks and magic will come from the camera lens.

ROMANIA
Ester starts sat on her chair centre stage but is soon joined on stage by two male dancers. She also has a guitarist at the side and some backing vocalists out of sight. The backdrop is very dramatic with an animation of crumbling buildings falling into pits of fire. She is dressed a bit like a couture victorian schoolgirl.

DENMARK
Another translation of its winning national final show. Leonora still has her big chair as well as the two ladder wielding friends, which I still don't really understand. This time she is joined by 2 female backing singers on the chair which does make for more interaction. The backdrop is full of skyscapes and sunbeams.

SWEDEN
John is dressed in black, although  he looks a little more smart than at Melfest. His four female backing singers are also dressed in black but with nice spangly detailing. Their layout on stage seems unchanged as does their choreography on stage. He still has the Kanye light effect above him bit seems a little out of place here.

AUSTRIA
They have tried really hard to capture the intimacy of the music video on stage and I think this will look very effective on the television screen. There is barely any backdrop at times, instead is looks more like the slight shimmer of light on sequins. She is styled exactly the same as her music video and still has her blue hair.

CROATIA
Roko has traded in his fluffy white wings for a pair of gold metallic ones. He is also joined on stage by two mare chested dancers who also sport the same wings. Everybody is also dressed in white and around them is our first main use of dry ice. This effect is also shown by the clouds on the backdrop, giving a heavenly effect.

MALTA
They have brought their own alternate background this year to try and emphasise the 'chameleon' aspect of the song. Michaela is in white and is joined by 4 dancers whose clothing changes colour when in front of the multicoloured lights which is a good effect, however their actual dancing is rather odd and a little off-putting.

LITHUANIA
Jurij is alone centre stage with just a mic stand for company. The backdrop is mostly black with blocks of sequined light which comes in with the beat of the music. The stage feels very big and he looks very small. Jurij is also dressed quie darkly which makes him seems almost invisible, he has backing singers who are off stage.

RUSSIA
Rain and fake mirrors. Sergey sings most of the first part in a lit up box however his visage is repeated slightly differently on a number of different boxes scattered on stage. The backdrop is mainly storm clouds , thunder and lightning (2015 reference!). He, and all his mirror images are dressed in white.

ALBANIA
Jonida has a new dress which is black and floaty and has some interesting if not confusing gold embellishments on the front. The act seems to be quite static and she doesn't seem to have anyone else on stage. The backdrop is quite muted and dark but does give the effect of having steel pillars holding up the whole stage.

NORWAY
KEiiNO are dressed in black whilst the backdrop behind them shows a neon computerised mountainous landscape of blues and greens, mirroring the colours of the northern lights. They also have some dry ice and take it in turns to take the centre spot. There is a lot more movement than in the national final

NETHERLANDS
Duncan is seated at his keyboard for the whole song. The backdrop is a moody shade of blue and has a mottled effect like clouds with some lasers. Next to him the is a large globe light hanging up and a bright spotlight shining from the side. Not being able to see him  sucks away every inch of it's power and now lacks individuality.

NORTH MACEDONIA
Tamara uses a similar effect to Russia with the backdrop made into a number of faux mirrors but this works much better as they are all doing the same thing and it is clear where you eye should be focusing. She is wearing a black and green dress which is individual but not over the top. She hs backing singers but are off stage.

AZERBAIJAN
Chingiz is stoon in from of a neon triangle and on each side of that there are two small robots. which also do some projections.Chingiz is wearing a strange half layered top which is slightly different shades of grey. The backdrop looks quite textured and seems to pulse and shake in time with the music. This will look great on camera.

Sunday, 5 May 2019

Alternative Lyrics

For the last few years I have taken it upon myself to try and rewrite some of this years songs to make them, well, funnier. This year, quite a few songs this year are not in English which has made it harder but also some of the lyrics this year are almost beyond parody.... If you know the songs already they will probably make a bit more sense!!!

CZECHIA
She's only a foe of a foe of a foe of a foe
She's never home 'cause she works as a ho
She's had Pete and Al and Joe
She's only a foe of a foe of a foe of a foe

UNITED KINGDOM
The digger's for us
It's gonna uproot the tree
This digger's for us
It's gonna clear everything we see

ROMANIA
You left me with a sundae
And I still remember that day in September
Yeah you left me with a sundae
Made sure there’s no way that you had to pay

RUSSIA
Get wood for the fire
Then fix the hairdryer
Then put on the frier
Clean the kitchen today
I'll scour hard, sweep the yard
Then breastfeed the new baby
It screams

LITHUANIA
Come on, come on, let your feelings out
Come on, come on, get your freedom now
Run wild
Run with all your strength, with all your might - THE WINNER TAKES IT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
(extra points if you get that random and niche reference 🍈🗡🍈🗡🍈🗡)

GERMANY
I see flames in your eyes
Damn, they burn so bright
Don’t you try to hide it
Christer, Christer, Christer
Mr Bjorkman
Christer, Christer, Christer

NETHERLANDS
I've got all of the cash I’ve saved
So many shops but they're all the same
Small town boy in the Queens Arcade
Shopping in Cardiff is a losing game

BELGIUM
I came to bite, I came to bite into you
Don't want your fries, don't want your fries, I need fruit
I have the right, I have the right not to queue
I will so cry, I will so cry and I'll sue

ISRAEL
I see the rain outside my door
And I am mournful, I am woeful
Do we dare stay and go soft play?
It made me mournful, I am woeful
And now I can't be arsed, we'll stay at home

MALTA
Give me ham, I'm a hamster
Give me hips, I'm a hipster
Give me toes I'm a toaster

Make me cry, sing "cry baby"
Take my bladder, Tena Lady
I like boats, especially gravy

SWITZERLAND
When she sidesteps, when she sidesteps
Or she backsteps, or she backsteps
Oh, she feint steps
Oh, her feint steps got me morris dancing

SAN MARINO
Say Sean Banan
On a dark deserted way, say Sean Banan
There's a light for you that waits, it's Sean Banan
Say Sean Banan, say Sean Banan
You're not alone, so stand up, Sean Banan
Be a hero, be the rainbow, and sing Sean Banan
Say Sean Banan
(more points for getting the melfest reference)

MONTENEGRO
Calling, this is Hear'Say calling, this is Bro'Sis calling, wanting our act back 
Calling, S Club 7 calling this is A*Teens calling, wanting our act back
Calling, Scootch and Deuce we're calling, Six4One is calling wanting our act back
Calling now Ralph Siegel's calling, he'll just keep on calling wanting his schtick back

NORWAY
You threw your spirit in the sky
When northern lads are dancing
Eyup Eyupah, Eyup Eyupah
I hear you whipping up a fight
The northern lads are belting
Eyup Eyupah, Eyup Eyupah