So, yesterday afternoon I was once again invited onto the Steve Yabsley Show on BBC Radio Bristol and BBC Somerset to talk about all things Eurovision.
I was on for just under half a hour and it was nice talking about the event's history as well as giving a few pointers to this year's contest. Below is the bbc iplayer link and my part starts at around 37:41 just after the travel update and sports advert.
If you have any ideas about what I might rename my blog this summer tweet me at @dvvholland
I hope I have done the Eurovision fandom proud
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p03rfh54
Wednesday, 4 May 2016
Tuesday, 3 May 2016
Re-writing songs...
Imagine if I had been asked to co-write this year's Eurovision songs....
Last week on Twitter I got a bit bored and had a go - therefore the majority of them got written under the 140 character limit for tweets - hence why most of them are quite short.
SPAIN
Come on and raise your bottle high
Swing low and quickly stab his thigh
You keep on taking smiley pills
Us boys we have the bestest thrills
SAN MARINO
I didn't know
It's appalling for you
That my song sounds like poo
I didn't know
That you've bought a shot gun
I'm target number one
MONTENEGRO
Feel it... I love snorkeling yeah
I'm gonna swim for your love
Gonna splash, gonna catch fish
I'm gonna hold my breath and hold my nose
CYPRUS
Caught in the middle of watching a porno flick
My mother walked in, was immediatly sick
Under the bed clothes I wank in the moonlight
CROATIA
There was a fight, on the railway, tried so hard to keep away
But there in that pie, cooking away are 4 members of Suede
Please take me back to the
The Mad House
The Mad House
The Mad House
GEORGIA
When I came to... North Aberdeen
I went to Peterhead
Made sure the Loch Ness Monster was really dead
IRELAND
We'll be outside having a bitch... fight
I shagged your brother, pathetic lover
It's a bitch... fight
I tried to smother your stupid mother
LATVIA
I'm making a spreadsheet
of things that I want, things that I need
Like loo roll and chocolate and Speed.
BELARUS
I will help you learn how to drive how, to drive
Stay on the main roads - not the M5, the M5
AZERBAIJAN
This is not satirical
This is not political - I say to you
I'll mime every single note
But I have rigged the vote
We're off to Baku...
MALTA
I feel this song is like bathwater.. bathwater... bathwater
One sat in by a really dirty squatter, a squatter, a squatter
FRANCE
Glue
It's the thing that's making me strong
I'll be sniffing sniffing for
Glue
Like the farts that make a big pong
SWEDEN
I drive a lorry
Do bird watching from the quarry
And I like Corrie
Gets a bit gory
I sit on the lavatory
That's mandatory
SLOVENIA
Cause poo is poo and wee is wee
But both end up in your nappy
I think you find it entertaining
Just wait 'til we do potty training
ISRAEL
Drunk in bars
Pissheads always fallin'
We are... drunk in bars.
We are behind bars,
Did a moonie to a copper
Now behind bars
SWITZERLAND
It's the last roller blind
In the hardware shop, and it's closing time
Gotta buy something quickly
It's the last roller blind
NORWAY
I'll eat a gob....stopper
It's a bubble gum that's hardened, a bubble gum that's hardened.
BELGIUM
Where is Cheshire?
It can snow in Wilmslow my good friends
And in Sproston
Peeps are kind but colour blind and in debt.
GERMANY
Just make some toast for you
Don't make some toast for me
I've got myself a bowl of muesli
Tell me who's smug now!
POLAND
O - O – O – O - I'm up for a fight
That asshole is my wife
O – O – O –O - she is such a tart
And missing a body part
GREECE
We're the fall of the falling star
Come and relax in a spa
We're the fall of the falling star
But we're skint so you're paying the lot
HUNGARY
Million Safeways, a million Prestos
Be proud, shops were epic in the 80's
A million Bejams, a million Kwik Saves
and I so miss the Pioneer
NETHERLANDS
You gotta shut up Douwe, shut up Douwe,
Shut up with your stupid song.
Shut up Douwe, shut up Douwe
Shut up and go light a bong
MACEDONIA
Dona, Dona, Dona, Dona, Dona Chameleon
You come and gooooooo
You come and gooooooo-oooooo-oooooo-ooooooo
DENMARK
Let's be gay men of Hove, gay men of Hove, gay men of Hove tonight
Take my hand and never let go, never let go and let’s be gay men of Hove
AUSTRALIA
Now my nose awakes to the smell of science
And it sneezes to the smell of science
And it sneezes to the smell of science
Last week on Twitter I got a bit bored and had a go - therefore the majority of them got written under the 140 character limit for tweets - hence why most of them are quite short.
SPAIN
Come on and raise your bottle high
Swing low and quickly stab his thigh
You keep on taking smiley pills
Us boys we have the bestest thrills
SAN MARINO
I didn't know
It's appalling for you
That my song sounds like poo
I didn't know
That you've bought a shot gun
I'm target number one
MONTENEGRO
Feel it... I love snorkeling yeah
I'm gonna swim for your love
Gonna splash, gonna catch fish
I'm gonna hold my breath and hold my nose
CYPRUS
Caught in the middle of watching a porno flick
My mother walked in, was immediatly sick
Under the bed clothes I wank in the moonlight
CROATIA
There was a fight, on the railway, tried so hard to keep away
But there in that pie, cooking away are 4 members of Suede
Please take me back to the
The Mad House
The Mad House
The Mad House
GEORGIA
When I came to... North Aberdeen
I went to Peterhead
Made sure the Loch Ness Monster was really dead
IRELAND
We'll be outside having a bitch... fight
I shagged your brother, pathetic lover
It's a bitch... fight
I tried to smother your stupid mother
LATVIA
I'm making a spreadsheet
of things that I want, things that I need
Like loo roll and chocolate and Speed.
BELARUS
I will help you learn how to drive how, to drive
Stay on the main roads - not the M5, the M5
AZERBAIJAN
This is not satirical
This is not political - I say to you
I'll mime every single note
But I have rigged the vote
We're off to Baku...
MALTA
I feel this song is like bathwater.. bathwater... bathwater
One sat in by a really dirty squatter, a squatter, a squatter
FRANCE
Glue
It's the thing that's making me strong
I'll be sniffing sniffing for
Glue
Like the farts that make a big pong
SWEDEN
I drive a lorry
Do bird watching from the quarry
And I like Corrie
Gets a bit gory
I sit on the lavatory
That's mandatory
SLOVENIA
Cause poo is poo and wee is wee
But both end up in your nappy
I think you find it entertaining
Just wait 'til we do potty training
ISRAEL
Drunk in bars
Pissheads always fallin'
We are... drunk in bars.
We are behind bars,
Did a moonie to a copper
Now behind bars
SWITZERLAND
It's the last roller blind
In the hardware shop, and it's closing time
Gotta buy something quickly
It's the last roller blind
NORWAY
I'll eat a gob....stopper
It's a bubble gum that's hardened, a bubble gum that's hardened.
BELGIUM
Where is Cheshire?
It can snow in Wilmslow my good friends
And in Sproston
Peeps are kind but colour blind and in debt.
GERMANY
Just make some toast for you
Don't make some toast for me
I've got myself a bowl of muesli
Tell me who's smug now!
POLAND
O - O – O – O - I'm up for a fight
That asshole is my wife
O – O – O –O - she is such a tart
And missing a body part
GREECE
We're the fall of the falling star
Come and relax in a spa
We're the fall of the falling star
But we're skint so you're paying the lot
HUNGARY
Million Safeways, a million Prestos
Be proud, shops were epic in the 80's
A million Bejams, a million Kwik Saves
and I so miss the Pioneer
NETHERLANDS
You gotta shut up Douwe, shut up Douwe,
Shut up with your stupid song.
Shut up Douwe, shut up Douwe
Shut up and go light a bong
MACEDONIA
Dona, Dona, Dona, Dona, Dona Chameleon
You come and gooooooo
You come and gooooooo-oooooo-oooooo-ooooooo
DENMARK
Let's be gay men of Hove, gay men of Hove, gay men of Hove tonight
Take my hand and never let go, never let go and let’s be gay men of Hove
AUSTRALIA
Now my nose awakes to the smell of science
And it sneezes to the smell of science
And it sneezes to the smell of science
Saturday, 30 April 2016
SOA 2016 8
It's the last show of the year boo/hiss/hooray/wipe brow/first pump (delete as applicable)
Poor Mr Jopijedd tries REALLY HARD to get out of his duties, but to no avail. We take no responsibility or liability for listeners who catch what he has through listening to this podcast...
We discuss where our 'high deluxe studio' is (guffaw), Mrs Forky has a rant about contestants on America's Next Top Model, Jopijedd wonders (in a very general way) about Arianna Grande and we finally find out which part of Mr Jopijedd has a secret talent - although it is secret no longer !!!!
Much to talk about this episode regarding the songs, however most of it seems to be the re-occurring theme this year of missed opportunities. Not only do we choose a winner for the episode but an overall winner for the podcast. As previous winners of this 'accolade' will confirm - IT IS THE KISS OF DEATH !!!!!
This episode was pre-recorded on the 28th April and reviewed are in alphabetical order - Albania, Armenia, Cyprus, Italy and Latvia.
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_8
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
Poor Mr Jopijedd tries REALLY HARD to get out of his duties, but to no avail. We take no responsibility or liability for listeners who catch what he has through listening to this podcast...
We discuss where our 'high deluxe studio' is (guffaw), Mrs Forky has a rant about contestants on America's Next Top Model, Jopijedd wonders (in a very general way) about Arianna Grande and we finally find out which part of Mr Jopijedd has a secret talent - although it is secret no longer !!!!
Much to talk about this episode regarding the songs, however most of it seems to be the re-occurring theme this year of missed opportunities. Not only do we choose a winner for the episode but an overall winner for the podcast. As previous winners of this 'accolade' will confirm - IT IS THE KISS OF DEATH !!!!!
This episode was pre-recorded on the 28th April and reviewed are in alphabetical order - Albania, Armenia, Cyprus, Italy and Latvia.
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_8
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
Tuesday, 26 April 2016
SOA 2016 7
It's the penultimate show of the year and we can't quite believe it?!?!?
Talking points include:
Can you be too girly? (Possibly...)
Does Fleur East have a good lawyer? (I don't think she cares...)
Who sounds like the whiniest contestant? (That's an easy one....)
Is Montenegro back to being Montenegro yet....? (Very much YES!)
This episode was recorded on 22nd April and the songs reviewed are in alphabetical order - Austria, Belgium, Estonia, Montenegro, Switzerland and possibly Romania.
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_7
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
Talking points include:
Can you be too girly? (Possibly...)
Does Fleur East have a good lawyer? (I don't think she cares...)
Who sounds like the whiniest contestant? (That's an easy one....)
Is Montenegro back to being Montenegro yet....? (Very much YES!)
This episode was recorded on 22nd April and the songs reviewed are in alphabetical order - Austria, Belgium, Estonia, Montenegro, Switzerland and possibly Romania.
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_7
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
Thursday, 21 April 2016
SOA 2016 6
Not long to go now as we reach the 3/4 point!
And the episode has a(nother) guest appearance by the Soup Dragon.
Lots of chat about songs sounding like other songs and lots of songs seemingly jump the shark in one way or another... And I also wonder who really should be calling the shots when it comes to choosing Eurovision entries. I get the feeling that a) a lot of whiny people get their own way and b) some people buckle too easily to 'fan pressure'. There is also the age old argument about whether gimmicks work - and if you can have too many gimmicks - but also is the SONG contest becoming too visual..?
This episode was recorded on the 13th April and the songs reviewed are, in alphabetical order - Czech Republic, Denmark, Iceland, Poland and San Marino.
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_6
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
And the episode has a(nother) guest appearance by the Soup Dragon.
Lots of chat about songs sounding like other songs and lots of songs seemingly jump the shark in one way or another... And I also wonder who really should be calling the shots when it comes to choosing Eurovision entries. I get the feeling that a) a lot of whiny people get their own way and b) some people buckle too easily to 'fan pressure'. There is also the age old argument about whether gimmicks work - and if you can have too many gimmicks - but also is the SONG contest becoming too visual..?
This episode was recorded on the 13th April and the songs reviewed are, in alphabetical order - Czech Republic, Denmark, Iceland, Poland and San Marino.
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_6
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
Monday, 18 April 2016
2016 SOA 5
This is, shall we say, a game of two halves... all will be explained half way through!
It also has a truly confusing beginning - unless you are from Sheffield - more information can be found here ... and beware the 'crack on' box is STILL going *eyes roll*
Most of our complaints this week see to be that most of the songs either sound like something else - not plagiarism, more like derivative and therefore unimaginative - or it is just plain boring! Everything also seems a bit visual in this episode which doesn't make the best podcast but hopefully you already have those visions in your head so shouldn't be too taxing! We also wonder if doing Eurovision after appearing on a version of The Voice/X-factor/Got Talent is a step forward or backwards
This show was recorded in 2 parts on the 10th and 13th of April and the songs covered, in alphabetical order are - Belarus, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Germany, Lithuania, Malta and Slovenia.
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_5
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
It also has a truly confusing beginning - unless you are from Sheffield - more information can be found here ... and beware the 'crack on' box is STILL going *eyes roll*
Most of our complaints this week see to be that most of the songs either sound like something else - not plagiarism, more like derivative and therefore unimaginative - or it is just plain boring! Everything also seems a bit visual in this episode which doesn't make the best podcast but hopefully you already have those visions in your head so shouldn't be too taxing! We also wonder if doing Eurovision after appearing on a version of The Voice/X-factor/Got Talent is a step forward or backwards
This show was recorded in 2 parts on the 10th and 13th of April and the songs covered, in alphabetical order are - Belarus, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Germany, Lithuania, Malta and Slovenia.
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_5
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
Wednesday, 13 April 2016
2016 SOA 4
Episode 4 of "Shite or Alright" - and please don't kick the baby!
This show also sees the return of the 'crack on' box - I think I may have stumbled across another catchphrase...
Today, Mrs Forky finds one song a bit patronising, we take one song title a bit too literally, improve another song's chorus massively (although we would say that!) and Jopijedd reminds me of a Finnish entrant who I had REALLY tried to forget about ! *shakes fist*
This episode was pre-recorded on the 5th of April and being reviewed are, in alphabetical order: Australia, Finland, Norway, Netherlands, and the United Kingdom
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_4
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
This show also sees the return of the 'crack on' box - I think I may have stumbled across another catchphrase...
Today, Mrs Forky finds one song a bit patronising, we take one song title a bit too literally, improve another song's chorus massively (although we would say that!) and Jopijedd reminds me of a Finnish entrant who I had REALLY tried to forget about ! *shakes fist*
This episode was pre-recorded on the 5th of April and being reviewed are, in alphabetical order: Australia, Finland, Norway, Netherlands, and the United Kingdom
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_4
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
Saturday, 9 April 2016
2016 SOA 3
Welcome to episode 3 of his years "Shite or Alright" reviews.
Today we introduce you to Squirt's Comedy Chair!
Issues discussed today include if certain Eurovision contestants are disrobing to get more votes AND if it's actually a bid sad if they believe this, why TV companies need to top listening to Eurovision fans, how popular voting in elections is around where we live and we have ANOTHER meme for Dona - one that we are very proud of...
This episode was pre-recorded on 31st March and being reviewed, in alphabetical order, are - Azerbaijan, Israel, Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, Russia and Spain.
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_3
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
Today we introduce you to Squirt's Comedy Chair!
Issues discussed today include if certain Eurovision contestants are disrobing to get more votes AND if it's actually a bid sad if they believe this, why TV companies need to top listening to Eurovision fans, how popular voting in elections is around where we live and we have ANOTHER meme for Dona - one that we are very proud of...
This episode was pre-recorded on 31st March and being reviewed, in alphabetical order, are - Azerbaijan, Israel, Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, Russia and Spain.
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_3
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
Tuesday, 5 April 2016
2016 SOA 2
It's episode number 2 of this year's "Shite or Alright" Eurovision reviews!
As I write this I am trying to remember some of the shenanigans that happen in this episode but can't... I have to admit that we were both ever so slightly inebriated during this episode so that is my excuse.... Ooooooops!
We start off with a warning about the SOA dress code (we are watching you), Jopijedd thinks about the singer of the the Hungarian entry and gets is all a bit wrong, does the same with the Georgian band and we suggest what Frans might be stealing from the Post Office.
This episode was pre-recorded on 27th March and being reviewed, in alphabetical order, are - Bulgaria, Hungary, Georgia, Serbia, Sweden and Ukraine
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_2
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
As I write this I am trying to remember some of the shenanigans that happen in this episode but can't... I have to admit that we were both ever so slightly inebriated during this episode so that is my excuse.... Ooooooops!
We start off with a warning about the SOA dress code (we are watching you), Jopijedd thinks about the singer of the the Hungarian entry and gets is all a bit wrong, does the same with the Georgian band and we suggest what Frans might be stealing from the Post Office.
This episode was pre-recorded on 27th March and being reviewed, in alphabetical order, are - Bulgaria, Hungary, Georgia, Serbia, Sweden and Ukraine
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_2
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
Friday, 1 April 2016
2016 SOA 1
Shite or Alright is back!!!!!
After unpopular demand we've decided to dust off the trusty snowball microphone and have another go at reviewing the entries for this year's Eurovision.
As you will hear at the start there have been a few changes to the format this year which will hopefully make our lives - and your lives - a little bit easier and hopefully a bit less time consuming! However what HASN'T changed are the obligatory advertisements, obscure references (if in doubt google it OR tweet me at @DVVHolland for info) and foul language. Don't worry - baby was fast asleep upstairs at time of recording.
This episode was pre-recorded on 25th March and being reviewed, in alphabetical order, are - Croatia, France, Greece, Ireland and Moldova
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_1
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
After unpopular demand we've decided to dust off the trusty snowball microphone and have another go at reviewing the entries for this year's Eurovision.
As you will hear at the start there have been a few changes to the format this year which will hopefully make our lives - and your lives - a little bit easier and hopefully a bit less time consuming! However what HASN'T changed are the obligatory advertisements, obscure references (if in doubt google it OR tweet me at @DVVHolland for info) and foul language. Don't worry - baby was fast asleep upstairs at time of recording.
This episode was pre-recorded on 25th March and being reviewed, in alphabetical order, are - Croatia, France, Greece, Ireland and Moldova
So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)
You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_1
Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)
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