Tuesday, January 07, 2020

A 2010-2019 appraisal

But the question is.... does 2020 signal the end of a decade, or not?
To be honest I'm not really bothered but the significant change of a digit means it's a good enough excuse to have an extended look back over the past decade, in terms of Eurovision.

The main parameter that has affected Eurovision has been..... MONEY.
Several broadcasters ruled out participating in Eurovision due to costs, some of the acts had to fund themselves to the contest rather than by the delegation and some countries have even been banned due to financial irregularities of one sort of another. The cost of hosting has also been visible with venues, technology and stage design fluctuating greatly from year to year. But also the off-stage fan experiences in the host cities have varied wildly.

The other thing that has changed, with some effect on the actual results, has been the constant tweaking of the voting system. Right now we seem to have come up with a suitable compromise with the jury vote and televote scores being given in full rather than being combined, more 100%+100% rather than 50% each. There is still some debate about the credentials and independence of the jurors on each country's panel and that these 5 people have a disproportionate effect on the result. Most importantly though it is shocking that some of the people scoring *still* don't seem to be able to order them correctly (how hard is it to know that you put your first place song at place 1 and your second place song in place 2????). The only thing that really needs looking into is the order in which the televote scores are given out at the end - and for this there is no real right answer because either way people will be singled out for doing badly or not getting the true credit when they do well.

In term of song choices and song direction, the contest is more diverse than ever. Since the relaxation of the language rule at the turn of the century the popularity of non-english songs (partly or wholly) has slowly increased in popularity and in success. This in turn seems to have also turned the tide of the direction Eurovision is heading. In the first half of the 2010s songs tended towards being populist, radio friendly, slickly presented and fitted in with the norm. In the latter half we have seen more songs of diverse genre, with more a local or nationalistic feel/story, emotion-led and being 'outside the box' without being instantly labelled as 'gimmicky' or 'the joke entry'. One notable part of the Eurovision selection process has been the seemingly inevitable "song revamp" or in some cases 'de-vamp'. This was taken to new heights when one certain San Marinese song was entered as a ballad but the popularity of a disco remix soon made them change versions!

I'm glad to see greater diversity on the stage too. A number of different ethnicities, nationalities and ages have come to the stage as well as a significant number of performers (main, backing and interval acts) with physical and mental challenges, all of which have inspired many others to do the same but also pushed the boundaries of those who thought it might not (or should not) be possible. In addition the fan base and the fan community now has the internet to spill their beans and interact directly with broadcasters and artists as well as galvanising favourites fellow fans who agree (and throwing shade to those who don't)

So here it goes - these are my fave songs from each country that has taken part 3 times or more this decade. As well as being a 'fave' of mine I have also taken into account staging, genre, performer(s) ability and the song's commercial success/publicity for Eurovision. I've also thought about those of you who are newcomers to Eurovision and that this list may lead you toward some singers and songs you might want to look into further.


ALBANIA - Mall by Eugent Bushpepa (2018)
Festivali i Këngës (the Albanian song festival used to select their Eurovision song) has been rather effective at selling the Albanian idea of 'song' throughout Europe and at times has been able to pull together its diaspora to vote! That said the songs at FiK sometimes need a total reworking, and can feel the pressure of needing to change into English) and they can lose their spark and flow by the time they get to May. Honourable mentions go to their 2010 song for being a diva bop and 2014's showcase of individuality and insane vocal ability but for me there was only one choice. Clearly the best singer of the 2018 with rock realness, fantastic showmanship, effective staging & camerawork and a song that broke through the language barrier.


ARMENIA - Not alone by Aram MP3 (2014)
I know this is a controversial choice but I have my reasons. Armenian entries have a tendency to be over-produced and be more style than substance. In some cases their idea of 'a song' greatly differs to that of the one in my dictionary. Armenia may need to go back to the drawing board as they have failed to qualify for the past 2 years and their formula is no longer washing with the voters and their diaspora vote has gone astray. Honourable mentions go to their armography filled 2017 song and their understated 2018 entry, the only one ever fully sung in Armenian. Although this is one is not a great favourite of mine, Aram performed this very simply and with great emotion during his 3 minutes and the build up of the song is not rushed and keeps you intrigued.


AUSTRALIA - Zero gravity by Kate Miller-Heidke (2019)
Their 'one time only' final appearance has now turned into 5 and to be honest I don't think ESC would be the same without them. Although the quality of their singers has not always been great, for the first 4 internally selected entries they had a formula and it seemed to work. However last year the formula went out of the window as they had a national final for the first time ever. It was a triumph of Aussie culture and talent and served a taste of what *could* happen if they ever won. A mention must go to their runner up in 2016 and a side mention to the runner up in the 2019 national final which must be seen. But the ability of this woman to sing and swing 10 foot in the air is a wonder... and she never did drop that mic...


AUSTRIA - Rise like a phoenix by Conchita Wurst (2014)
The 2010s has been kind to Austria. During the early part of the 21st century they were in a bit of a strop as they put a stop to participating in 5 years due to bad results and non qualifications from the semis. They finally found their groove and remembered they had a secret weapon - a bearded drag queen whose real name is Tom. Having came a gallant second in the Austrian national final in 2012 (with a total anthem) ORF internally selected her two years later and the rest is history and has gone down in history too. Other mentions need to go to Trackshittaz (although their NF song in 2011 is much better than their actual ESC song in 2013) and their 2018 song which won the jury part of the voting and is a classy r'n'b gospel anthem.


AZERBAIJAN - Truth by Chingiz (2019)
Although their only win came in 2011 it is possibly one of the most divisive winners ever and is a great example of an accidental winner. Their songs are by in large internally selected and they have used a lot of Swedish songwriters, backing singers and stage directors which has given them some slick and seamless entries but can come across as inauthentic. I feel I have to mention their 2017 entry which has the most abstract staging ever as well as the touching ballad they sent in 2014. Last year's entry had a great beat from the very start, had a great mix of contemporary staging with some simple motifs throughout and a singer who normally produces work in the genre of Turkic folk and lends this in parts to the song.


BELARUS - Learn to fly by IVAN (2016 - DNQ)
The 2010s has been a bit of a mixed bag results wise however they have kept us all perennially amused with their random national finals (which may or may not be rigged and the final result may or may not be overturned by the President) but have given us plenty of memes with their web streamed auditions (which mayor may not contain Daz Sampson) I think that they've been quite unlucky in qualification but many of their songs have been too middle of the road to get noticed. A big shout out goes to the only song to be wholly in Belarusian (2016) as well as the cheesiest costume reveal ever in 2010. Although the entry I like the most DNQ'd I think this was mainly due to the overloud backing singers and random staging (and being upstaged by the holograms) as the song is very catchy and has a great structure.


BELGIUM - City lights by Blanche (2017)
It is fair to say that the past decade has produced some of Belgium's finest Eurovision songs to date - but it hasn't always gone their way. Even though the language broadcasters take it in turn to choose the entries, they have a 50/50 qualification rate in this decade although I think some of their failure has been more down to bad staging (or lack of) rather than poor vocal performances. Huge props need to go to their 2010 entry which actually won their semi final, plus the choreography of their 2013, 2015 and 2016 songs are all totally epic and fundamental to their success and longevity. That all said and done this song I've chosen is simple, effective and is a low key bop. They said she couldn't do it but she absolutely smashed it...



BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA - Love in rewind by Dino Merlin (2011)
This Balkan state has done just enough to get on my "best of" list having appeared just 4 times in the past 10 years. With only one DNQ in its history, the Bosnian broadcaster has found itself in financial trouble and in debt to the EBU so a return in the next few years is looking unlikely which is a shame as neighbourly voting usually does enough to get them through. This appearance at Eurovision was Dino's second having come a brilliant 7th in a duet with French singer Beatrice 1999. The fun happy staging and Dino's accented voice made for a very sweet entry. It also did super well coming 5th overall having been selected the death slot of performing second in the final. You'll all be doing the foot-stomping hand-waving dance this time next week...



BULGARIA - If love was a crime by Poli Genova (2016)
I think it is fair to say that Bulgaria took a very long time to get into their stride. In fact their first 5 songs of this decade all failed to qualify into the Saturday night final. This wasn't through lack of trying as many of these entries were well thought of by the fans - in particular their 2012 with missed out on the final by just one position. The song I've chosen was the song that found Bulgaria their route to success with a partnership with the Symphonx writing group which also wrote the next 2 songs. Poli DNQd in 2011 with a fan fave and came back with this banger on a tune. Most people would have rocked up in this light up cut out dress looking like they had been mugged by a Dalek but not our Poli...


CROATIA - Mižerja by Klapa s Mora (2013 DNQ)
This past decade has not been good to Croatia. The decade began with a run of 5 straight DNQs followed by 2 years of non participation citing poor results and financial difficulties. Things were looking up with 2016's Barbara Dex winning entry (that's the fan award for worst outfit!) and 2017's duet sung by one man but things soon went south again and the decade ended with another two DNQs. For me the standout song of the era is this piece of ethic balladry. I love the outfits, I love the harmonies and I love how the language sounds so pretty in the song. It  probably never had a chance of qualifying but it is always nice to see something so true and meaningful to a culture. I can sing this one off by heart...


CYPRUS - Fuego by Eleni Fouriera (2018)
The island's fate in Eurovision has taken an upward turn totalling 7 qualifications out of 9 with one year not participating. Their 2015 selection show "Eurovision Song Project" kick started their current form and also uncovered the artists they would internally select for the following two years. Their entry in 2015 is a lovely sweet ballad which probably punched well outside its weight to get into the final and their 2012 entry (although not exactly pleasant to the ears in live form) proved that ladies singing bops was probably the way to go. As for Eleni, she shocked us all with her finely honed singing and dancing number and has cemented her place as a Eurovision icon. My car is even named "Fyffe" in honour of the music video... (it has the letters CYP in the reg!)


CZECH REPUBLIC - Lie to me by Mikolas Josef (2018)
After a hiatus in the first half of the decade this central European nation has made its mark. Their recent use of the internet to influence the selection their song and entrant, rather than a televised nation final, has chosen some contemporary entries with some really good staging. All of their last 5 entries have showcased a wide range of genre from a small and lesser known nation. Their 2016 ballad was treated appallingly in the final gaining 0 televotes (there are no words) and although the lyrics of their 2019 song are slightly dodgy it is impossible not to dance to. But Mikolas's fun-filled, 80's-riddled number has earworms and plenty and a few days before leading up Eurovision he was in hospital having landed the somersault wrongly. What a trooper... and what *is* in that bag...?


DENMARK - Higher ground by Rasmussen (2018)
Not a bad record in the last 10 years having DNQ'd just twice and having five top 10 finishes including one winner to their name. Danish entries have a tendency to be highly stylised and have a certain type of sheen to them which really puts me off. There is a stereotypical Danish type of song and act that just rubs me up the wrong way - and  it's one the Danes seem intent on mostly sending! I will give an honourable mention to their 2012 ditty which was probably only let down by some odd costume choices but the song is amazing and it would be amiss of me not to mention their 2013 winner which was a shoo in fro the very start. My favourite song of this decade is of no surprise. Full of character and exuding Nordic prowess, the staging of this even feels like it is from the frozen North.


ESTONIA - Siren by Malcolm Lincoln & Manpower 4 (2010 DNQ)
Ooof, this is a controversial choice! Over the last 10 years Estonia have failed to qualify 4 times but conversely coming top 10 in the final three times. Possibly the most famous choice Estonia made during the decade was the decision *NOT* to send Winny Puhh in 2013, something I think they will rue for a long time! Famed mostly for their ballads and slower tempo numbers, they have sometimes lacked stage presence and not been memorable enough. Many people's stand out track will be the 2012 but I only started liking it years after it was at Eurovision. My choice is one of Estonia's oddest and least Eurovisiony. I love the camera work during the chorus, which is also very catchy, and the whole thing is sung clearly and strongly. People may have been put off by the random dancing but not me !


FINLAND - När jag blundar by Pernilla Karlsson (2012 DNQ)
Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu (or UMK for short) has been a bit of a fan favourite when it comes to national finals but the downside is that the Finns have a tendency to choose the wrong thing! Finland have participated every year of the decade but only qualified 4 times - three of those ended in the bottom 5 of the final. Maybe they need to sing in Finnish or Swedish or return to their rock roots. There also needs to be an honourable mention for their 2017 song which was a shock non-qualifier for the final having been highly thought of beforehand. The song I've chosen is a gentle ballad sung very sweetly in Swedish. In a time where faves seemed to be uptempo numbers in English there is little surprise this did badly. I wonder what happened to the bottom of her dress...?


FRANCE - Allez Ola Olé by Jessy Matador (2010)
Being a 'Big 5' country, France automatically qualify for the final which is possibly a good thing as their track record nf the final has not been stellar with only top 10 placing and four bottom 5 placings. There has been a mixture of internal selections and national finals, with "Destination Eurovision"becoming a hotbed of French talent but like the Finns the right song doesn't always win. It must be said that the standard of the entries and singers is generally high but singing in French has not always been to their advantage. Honourable mentions go to the bop that is 2014 (last place my a**e!) and the heartfelt storytelling of 2018. My choice is the afrobeat dance classic which was underrated by the juries - shame on them. I even persuaded my Fitsteps teacher to do a cha-cha to this !


GEORGIA - Midnight gold by Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian Lolitaz (2016)
A tale of two halves: 5 DNQs, 5 finals. Many of the songs have had a Swedish hand to them - and can't you bleeding tell. However when 'weeee-uuuurd' Georgia turn up, you are going to have 3 minutes wondering 'did that actually just happen?!?!' sometimes it even turning into a final position. I feel that the idea and opportunity to showcase their song culture and language means more to them than doing well. Where else do you get time to advertise what your country's culture? The recent use of Georgian Idol to choose the singer has proved interesting with 2018's ethno-folk-rock entry and I cannot wait for this year's 'weeee-uuuuurdness' !!!!! But for me nothing can beat the genre mashing, eye-swirling, lighting-crazy 2015 entry which gained 12 points from the UK jury - hurrah !



GERMANY - Taken by a stranger by Lena (2011)
The decade couldn't have started off better by having the first win of the decade but since then results have been rather inconsistent. The 'wildcard' element of theri national finals seemed to to skew results in their favour and the less we talk about the debacle of the 2015 final the better. In terms of national selection they have shown great coverage in terms of genre and performer but the disparity between jury score and televote has always seemed very polarising which makes for controversial choices. Honourable mention must go to the beautiful ballad in 2018 which did much better than expected, possibly due to the background. For me, when Lena won in 2010 it gave hope to the big 5 that they *could* actually win and props to her and the German delegation for allowing her to defend her title with a mysterious low key bop.


GREECE - Rise up by Freaky Fortune feat. RiskyKidd (2014)
The past decade has seen the declining fortunes of this once unstoppable song machine. Although we've seen 4 top 10 placings, they were all in the first half of the decade whilst the second half saw 2 DNQs. Part of this decline has been due to money, concerning internal political complications with the broadcaster and then the selection process was effectively outsourced to a number of different record companies. They seem to have lost their knack of finding songs with the balance of sounding modern AND sounding Greek, as well as finding performers who can sing. My choice however is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. Although not sounding terribly Greek, and not great live, it is a very contemporary number with the best use of trampoline ever !


HUNGARY - Origo by Joci Pápai (2016)
With 9 appearances in the 2010's their only non-qualification was in 2019. The list of their entries during those years is a cornucopia of acts and songs as well as bringing forward a number of socially conscious entries. With this track record the future should be looking bright but the apparent politically motivated withdrawal for next year's contest may see another extended break for the country. Special mention needs to go to the banger of 2011, the low key bop of 2014 and the post-hardcore rock of 2018. For me the choice of this decade is simple. Hungarian rap surprise enveloped in an ethically sensitive folk bop garnished with a fiddler and a story enhancing dancer by his the side. Perfect combination.



ICELAND - Coming home by Sjonni's Friends (2011)
The most northerly nation of Eurovision is still awaiting its first win and nothing has come near in recent times. They had 4 consecutive DNQs and even those that did qualify all but one remained in the bottom half. Söngvakeppnin, their Eurovision selection process, continues to bring variety to the fore but some poor staging, language choices and the slightly odd rules of the final show have stifled their chances. Special mention goes to their multicoloured 2014 entry the overlooked 2016 entry as well as the leather clad lads and lasses from 2019. But my fave has such a sad a touching back story, one far too long to state here,and out of such tragedy came a special camaraderie in order to make sure this song got to Eurovision.



IRELAND - Lipstick by Jedward (2011)
With 5 qualifications and 5 non-qualifications, the past 10 years has been quite the mixed bag. Of late, entries have been internally selected, possibly due to lack of funds and/or interest of a national final) but this has created some entries that have felt half finished and with corners cut. Their back to basics ballad in 2010 and Irish-tinged dance floor banger of 2014 are also of note. But the reason I have chosen the divisive Jedward as my pick is simple. Not the best vocally but are a duo of flair, confidence, energy and (at the time) youth. Their name being associated with Eurovision brought a new youth audience to the contest, gave the UK press something else to write about and shook off that rustic celtic image of Irish entries. There *is* no such thing as bad publicity.



ISRAEL - Golden boy by Nadav Guedj (2015)
Getting a win during this decade can surely mean that  it has been a success. Unusually their string of internally selected entries failed to meet the mark (four of them did not qualify for the final) and so "HaKokhav HaBa" an already established Israeli contest was rejigged to become a selection show for Eurovision.  Since this new combination came into effect Israel have qualified every year, so the Israeli public seem to know what they are doing ! Their 2010 ballad is a great song as is the funk tinged indie song of 2012. But the first winner of the national final brought us a song, act, dance routine, lyrics and shoes which are to this day fondly remembered and mostly parodied.Three minutes.... bye bye !



ITALY - Soldi by Mahmood (2019)
After 12 years away, Italy returned to the fold of Eurovision and made the big 4 into the big 5. Boy, have they made an impact. Every single song and performance has made a mark,with 7 top ten finishes. The role of San Remo has not only had an impact on the song choices but has also made the Italian selection a mush watch for the fans. Songs and performances are unashamedly Italian and it is surprising how Eurovision success has come to hen relatively easy. Their re-entry to eurovision in 2011 is a triumph of jazz and class and the 2017 entry with dancing gorilla will be a meme for a long time to come. But Italy came amazingly close in 2019 with a song so raw and powerful you understand every word.



LATVIA - Heartbeat by Justs (2016)
With only 2 final appearances this decade it is fair to say that Latvia has a lot to do to change its fortunes. Although their national final shows "Eirodziesma" and "Supernova" have created fan buzz it hasn't always chosen a song that is quite right for Eurovision. In fact, many of its entries have seemed quite gimmicky and ratherodd.It is something that the best thing about Latvia is Riga beaver... Notable mentions got to their 2011 song (less so the lyrics) and 2017 entry which had mazing staging but less than impressive vocals. But Latvia's 2 successes come down to Aminata who wrote and performed the 2015 song and wrote my fave entry. Although Justs is on his own, the ever changing set design fills the stage just as much as his voice does.



LITHUANIA - Eastern European funk by InCulto (2010)
Although success at the actual contest has been lacking (only 1 top ten finish in a final), the national selection show "Eurovizijos" which has been running for most of the decade has been quite the ratings success in Lithuania and has a similar the following online. Their entries have been quite diverse and eagle eyed viewers will have noticed the recycling of some of the contestants year on year, especially those moving from backing singer to main singer. Their 2013 song is akin to a Killers b-side and their 2014 entry is full of sass. But my fave is fun, has a tongue in cheek message, has the best use of foam instruments ever AND a costume reveal. Just a shame there are no melons involved (love you Lolita Zero!!!!)



MALTA - One life by Glen Vella (2011 DNQ)
In a similar vein to Lithuania. Malta's Eurovision success has been non-existent with only one top 10 final finish this decade. Their national final is constantly filled with a mix of new names and constant returning stalwarts - come on, on an island that size surely everyone has been on this show now?!?!? Their road this year has been paved with some pedestrian and badly staged ballads as well as some under & over performed uptempo numbers. I will give a special mention to their 2014 mention which has a very unique bluegrass feel but also performed by a family group. My fave song was a non-qualifier and criminally overlooked. A song with a great positive message, fabulous backing singers and a great sassy vibe.



MOLDOVA - Hey mamma! by Sunstroke Project (2017)
For a small and new country with no discernable music legacy, Moldova is definitely punching above its weight. Their national finals are usually very random and low tech - which means things can only get better on the lead up to May! For me, Moldova is all about staging, and when they get it right the result is special and memorable and when they get it wrong is usually results in a non-qualification. Not even the police force, a bad wig and a spaceman can save you sometimes! An honourable mention needs to been made to their 2011 and the unicycling woman, the amazing projection dress from 2013 but also to the end of the pier silliness that was 2018. But for me you can't go wrong with the return of Epic Sax guy and a one footed dance routine !



MONTENEGRO - Igranka –by Who See ft Nina Žižić (2013 DNQ)
One of the weaker Balkan nations, they have only appeared in the final twice in their entire Eurovision history. The majority of their entries have been internally selected although the re-introduction of "Montevizija" did little to invigorate the country's fortunes. In fact Montenegro have already ruled out showing up in 2020 due to poor results and financial restrictions. Their insane entry of  2012 must be oddest opening song ever whilst their sweet ballad of 2014 deservedly gave them their first final qualification ever. My fave though was this dance/rap/drum and bass epic which was possibly the most modern thing ever seen on the stage. But maybe the lack of lyrics in English and the obstructive costumes put people off.



NETHERLANDS - Birds by Anouk (2013)
Talk about zero to hero! After a disastrous start to the decade the Dutch broadcaster and delegation took a good hard look at themselves and began to take the whole thing much more seriously. In came well-known names in the Dutch music scene and they moved from 'typical Eurovision fayre' and more towards singer-songwriters - and how it has paid off! Props also go to their 2017 ballad which was beautifully sung - and also proved that acts that to Junior can also belt it out in May and a small mention also has to go to 2010 which is a schlager classic - spoilt by the ridiculously OTT staging. My fave is the song that started the roll back to greater things. I've loved Anouk for a long time and this song is a beautiful haunting ballad really shows of her rich voice.



NORTH MACEDONIA/FYROM - Autumn leaves by Daniel Kajmakoski (2015 DNQ)
What's in a name? When it comes to this country it seems it brings new fortunes! With only one qualification this decade under its old name, they came back with a vengeance in 2019 and had its best result ever. Perennial underachievers, it is fair to say FYROM always seemed to choose songs good enough to do well but then ruin all its chances by using kitchen sink staging and awful costumes. 2013 brought some Romani realness and of course returning contestant Tamara finally brought home the goods last year with great vocals and fitting staging. My fave is a heartfelt ballad with beautiful lyrics. If there had been a little more cohesion in the staging it could have made it to the final.



NORWAY - A monster like me by Mørland & Debrah Scarlett (2015)
The past decade has been quite a yo-yo for the Nordic nation having romped to victory in 2009 and hosting the first Eurovision of the decade but also having 2 DNQs to their name. Their "Melodi Grand Prix" selection always turns up some rather odd selections with a smattering of top home homegrown stars and has a huge turnout in the stadium. Huge mentions must go to 2011 which was a shock non-qualifier at the time (and the only instance of Swahili at Eurovision) the electro-country of 2017 and of course the perfect marriage of pop and Sami in 2019. My fave though is this heart wrenching duet that is dark and mysterious like a Scandi Noir... and I still don't know what he did in his early youth....


POLAND - Jestem by Magdalena Tul (2011 DNQ)
A odd decade signified by DNQs at the start and end of the decade, 2 years non-participation and four final appearances in the middle. Their entries have been a mish mash of ethnic fayre, dramatic ballads and dance-pop but they have yet to find the formula where they get enough support from their diaspora AND the jury to get them anywhere near a win. There needs to be a passing mention of their 2014 entry which is possibly the most memed entry yet (never had cheese making looked so tempting) and their 2016 entry the ultimate 'mother song' which was nowhere after the jury vote but came 6th in the televote. My favourite is a total bop that sounds great in native language although Magdalena could have done with a much better outfit.


PORTUGAL - Amar pelos dois by Salvador Sobral (2017)
A rather drab decade punctuated by one stunning highlight. Their run of DNQs was only stopped by a number of self inflicted withdrawals - maybe they were just taking more time to hatch out their takeover plan...? Selling the Portuguese language, and moreover selling the Portuguese idea of Eurovision, has been a rather hard sell which is reflected in their results. Although RTP has used "Festival da Canção" throughout, its recent reboot with modern acts, songwriters and more avant-garde entries has made it a must watch national final. Props to their over-looked 2014 bop, their emotionally touching 2017 song and to the culture clash of 2019 which is a banger forever. But how can you look any further than Salvador and the song written by his sister Luisa...?


ROMANIA - Playing with fire by Ovi & Paula Seling (2010)
After a great start to the decade, the energy petered out. They've ended with 2 DNQs but they were even chucked out of the contest in 2016, even though they had a song and act ready to go, due to financial irregularities. Their "Selecția Națională" has gone through a number of changes but nothing drastic enough to reverse the tide. Romania could do with looking to its neighbours in Moldova and think about creating great visual shows and something that really shows off their culture. My notable mentions go to their only Romanian language song of the decade in 2015 and to the best counter-tenor in the business in 2013. To me nothing tops their best placing duet that led us to believe they were up for the win... a win we are still waiting for...


RUSSIA - Scream by Sergey Lazarev (2019)
I have to admit that I am not the biggest fan of Russian entries. A small part of me finds some of their songs slightly incongruous when put into context with some of their political stances. But you cannot fault them when it comes to the internal selection of some of their best and most famous singers. It would be remiss of me though not to mention their withdrawal/block from 2017 and their subsequent DNQ the year after. On a personal note I absolutely adore the madness that is 2010 and the bop from 2011 (less so the live performance and shoes!) But their final entry of the decade by their biggest star showed an emotional side, with a small hint of the Slav about it which shows a great balance of power and emotion.



SAN MARINO Crisilade by Valentina Monetta (2013 DNQ)
If there was ever a fitting Eurovision synonym for the word underdog - surely it should be San Marino. The tiny microstate, although rather unsuccessful in the competition, does its best to make a mark on the contest and will always have its supporters. In the 9 years they have participated 4 have contained Valentina Monetta, 2 have been by Serhat and each have gained a final place Their partnership with Ralph Siegel promised much but tended to create dated and quite dated and bland entries that might have gone down well in his heyday, but not know. Notable mentions to 2019 for be a total surprise of a qualifier and to their meme-tastic 2012 which is soooooooo bad it's good. My fave is one of Valentina's DNQs but was definitely her best entry.



SERBIA - Ljubav je svuda by Moje 3 (2013 DNQ)
One of the more successful ex-Yugo countries, Serbia has amassed 7 final appearances this decade, although only one of those gained them a top 10 placing. Most entries have been selected internally although their recent revival of "Beovizija" has had a lot of fans watching online. Serbia seem to tread a fine line between ethic beats, Balkan ballads and modern contemporary sounds and sometimes I feel like their identity becomes muddled and to coin a phrase then need to 'go the whole pineapple'. Honorable mentions go to their Balkan brass bop of 2010 and the eltho-trance beats of 2018. Although my fave was one of the 2 songs that didn't qualify, this is wholly down to the stupid costumes and over- complicated staging. Look away and it is amazing !



SLOVAKIA - Horehronie by Kristína Peláková (2012 DNQ)
This central European country just sneaks into my round up with 3 entries all at the start of the decade.Their last entry was in 2012 and even though their neighbours in Czechia have shown that good results are possible a return has not been mooted. It is believed, however, tat it is not just bad results that have permitted their return but also the costs of participation. The thee songs of this decade are pretty diverse and I would guess that many people have different favourites dependent on their style of music you like. 2012 is a brilliant rock number which Eurovision probably wasn't quite ready for and 2011 a nice well paced pop ballad but possibly a bit too 'nice' My fave is the ethic banger for 2010 which is a huge fan favourite and still leaves us wondering how is didn't qualify...


SLOVENIA - Here for you by Maraaya  (2015)
With the 10 entries they've sent, half have DNQ'd, half made the final but none of those finalists got into the top 10, so I think it is fair to say that that the Balkan nation have done okay. I guess it would depend on what their parameters of 'success' are. The EMA national final show has been rather controversial, with the weighting and pathway to winning the show changing year on year and notions that the juries on the show are biased for/against certain act/genres. I feel I need to give a special mention to their macrobeat trance 2019 number and to the sassy bop of 2018 - both in Slovene! My fave though takes me back to then I watched this NF heavily pregnant and fast forwarding to watching the contest in May with a tiny bairn. I am here for you buhb x


SPAIN - Say yay! by Barei (2016)
I get the feeling that if Spain had to qualify, most years they would struggle. RTVE have chopped and changed their selection process so many times that their flow of entries is confused and don't seem to be keeping up with modern trends. They are also stuck between being over-Spanish to not being Spanish in anyway, both of which seems to have alienated the voters. And then there are the quite overbearing Spanish fans who will let you know their feeling very clearly! Special mentions go to last year's energetic entry that somehow flopped and the ballad of 2014 that proved they can balance NOT singing in Spanish And doing well. My fave is this bop, with dance routine, and a great positive message - shame about the mid-flow stop which was totally unnecessary and as fake as hell.



SWEDEN - Heroes by Måns Zelmerlöw (2016)
The kings of modern Eurovision - if not the kings of modern music production - hasn't always had it it's own way. Starting with a shock DNQ, their only one to date, things could only get better. Melodifestivalen fought back with bigger and bolder production and soon the results started to flood in. With a mix of new and heritage acts and songwriters, Europe couldn't get enough of that Swedish sound. But part of me wonders if after some rather disparate jury/televote scores if Europe is now after something different, more personal and individual? Obviously one cannot go further without mentioning Loreen in 2012 and the surprise M-fest winner of 2013 but to me the best is their second winner of the decade and the clever projection show.



SWITZERLAND - Hunter of stars by Sebalter (2014)
It's not been the best of decades for a founder country of Eurovision but things could be on the up. Out of the 10 songs they've brought forward 7 have failed to reach the final, which is a rather dismal record - it is more a surprise they didn't withdraw. For most of the decade they used "Die Große Entscheidungsshow" where the different language broadcasters chose songs but also songs from anywhere in the world could be uploaded to their online portal and included in the selection. The idea created quite a buzz but rarely resulted in success. Passing mentions need to go to their 2012 entry which came very close to qualifying and to their 2019 entry with finally got them into the top 5 - first time since 1993. However, their 2014 entry mixed pop and folk with a smattering of fiddle, clapping and whistling!



TURKEY - Live it up by Yüksek Sadakat (2011 DNQ)
Another country that has just scraped through into being in this review. Once one of the darlings of Eurovision, they turned up in 2012 and have not been seen since. Their broadcaster, TRT cited 'the rules of the contest' which insinuated some unhappiness with the reinstatement of the juries after a run of years with 100% televote and, possibly, the prominence of LGBTQ acts. Turkish entries rarely ended up being in my good books as I always found them over-hyped and style over substance. All 3 of their entries this century were internally selected and all had widely different results. The one I find least annoying is ironically their first, and currently one and only, DNQ. It has a good rock dance vibe but let down by rather flat and disconnected staging.



UKRAINE - Under the ladder by Mélovin (2018)
If anybody's Eurovision story was to the represented by a rollercoaster, THIS would be the country. Despite 2 withdrawals, all 8 songs they've submitted have qualified - and this has included 5 top ten finishes with one being a win! Their non-participation in 2019 was done after their song and singer had be selected and that probably would have won too, but it was not to be. Their national selection shows have given us many highlights and lowlights to the point where some national finals were re-run! Special mentions go to their haunting ballad of 2010 and their emotional winner of 2016. But my favourite ditty of the decade goes to this 80s tinged pop number with more of a hint of the goth around it. I have a sneaking suspicion that the piano doesn't really work...


UNITED KINGDOM - Never give up on you by Lucie Jones (2017)
Like fellow big 5 country Spain, if they had to qualify through the semi-finals there would be quite a few (if not all) DNQs. The decade has been bookended by two last places and not one top 10 finish to their name The BBC's internal selection phase was punctuated with the choice of heritage stars singing songs that suited them but not something anyone would vote for. Their national finals also seemed to be rooted in the past, with middle of the road acts singing inoffensive songs that no longer cut the mustard. Special mentions to Blue who brought back some respectability in 2011 and to the songs of 2012 and 2014 (but not the stage shows). The best of the decade in my eyes was this dramatic - if not over-dramatic - ballad which showed great vocal ability as well as brilliant use of a mirror - plus I was there at the national final!!!!

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Semi-final wishlist

This time next week it'll all be over... apart from the shade, tea and multitudinous layers of data collection/analysis that'll keep us going over the summer.

To make things short and snappy, I have rejigged my ranking to take into account recent rehearsal footage and found the top 10 acts from each semi final. These are as follows:

                                                 SEMI 1                                                  SEMI 2
Australia
Slovenia
Iceland
Czech Republic
Portugal
Greece
Cyprus
San Marino
Georgia
Belgium
--
Belarus
Estonia
Poland
Hungary
Serbia
Finland
Montenegro
Azerbaijan
North Macedonia
Sweden
Austria
Norway
Switzerland
Romania
Netherlands
Russia
Malta
--
Albania
Denmark
Latvia
Ireland
Lithuania
Armenia
Croatia
Moldova

So the countries in green are my top 10 in each semi, the ones in orange are outside my top ten, although as we know anything is possible - also remember that half of the vote is sealed on the Monday night with the jury final, so they need to be great both nights and failures have been secured in the basis of one bad show
In semi 1, even though San Marino and Belgium are in my top 10, they are looking like the least likely of that bunch to get through purely on performance and vocals. Portugal could be a little bit too avant garde for casual Eurovision viewer and Slovenia may well be too quiet and inwards. I feel that there is only a good argument for Finland and Montenegro NOT qualifying so I think that literally any of the other countries could qualify too (although I would rather they didn't!)
Semi 2, for me, is much more clear cut when it comes to who *should * qualify. Out of the songs in orange, Albania and Denmark are the two countries that probably have the best chance of sneaking through, mainly due to the countries voting in that semi. So many countries here are on a bit of a knife edge - Austria, Norway, North Macedonia, Romania - because of lack of neighbours or because their song/staging could be misconstrued, misinterpreted or misunderstood.

It's still very much an open contest! There is also the added complication that the big 5 have drawn their half of the final and all of them bar Germany are in the second half. That, plus the fact Israel are already in position 14, that means that there are only 8 slots left in semi 2 for the rest of the qualifiers fto fight over, and given that Spain and Italy are fan faves they could be given a huge boost by the producer led draw ! 

I'll do another round up on Friday once we know all the finalists AND the grand final draw.

FINALISTS' REHEARSALS

Earlier today the big 5 plus Israel, the host country, had their second rehearsals. Here's how I think they went...


ISRAEL
Kobi starts on the main stage with five backing singers where there are plenty of choreographed moments. At the end Kobi moves down the runway to finish right to the top.  He is dressed smartly although the faux bow tie is a brave move. There are some lovely camera shots and uses of fade in/out. There seems to be a lot of pryo at the end which distracts you from the singing. His voice sounds ok and still has the very individual styles but doesn’t sound yet like he is in 5th gear.

FRANCE
Well I did not see this coming. After disastrous staging attempts in the national final they've pulled something genial out of the bag. Bilal is onstage with a much longer blonde wig which is very striking. He has 2 dancers who are phenomenal and totally bring together the song’s meaning. The video backdrop blends in well in the close ups but keeps the feeling of the song in the long shots. The song seems to have been re-orchestrated too and his backing singers give it a lot of much needed lift. Wow.

SPAIN
Miki has 5 backing singers and they are all inside the prop which is the silhouette of a house (think Finders Keepers!). It helps create a feeling of stopping everything for a party but it is a very big prop for such a small gag. The backdrop is really colourful, dynamic and very memorable. Miki sounds great and the backing singers do a great job of adding extra energy to the whole show although I feel this will be usurped as soon as the audience get involved. However I am yet to see what the wicker man adds to this.

ITALY
Mahmood sounds absolutely on point and looks and sounds really comfortable. The backdrop has themes from the music video which helps push the meaning subliminally and also attract those people who may recognise it. He is on stage with 3 dancers who really need to up their game. Although the choreography is fine their timing is out and then it looks a mess. During the chorus there are far too many chops and changes in camera shots, especially during the clap clap parts and the songs seems to lose its power here.

UNITED KINGDOM
This starts off in black and white before moving into full colour at the first chorus. He is also alone on stage and then his backing singers come on when the song builds up nearer the end. Michael is in black whilst his backing singers are in white. He sounds really comfortable. The camerawork is a little bit predictable and the whole thing just comes across and a bit safe and stereotypical. The wide shots at the beginning are quite puzzling and Michael needs to open his eyes  and make more effort in connecting with the camera.

GERMANY

Much more restrained and less aggressive show than their performance in the national final. The backdrop still has the girls’ faces on it but this is not the main focus of the show. The girls use the walkway really well to signal what the song is about. They are less shouty and their faces seem much more smiley and open which is a good sign. They are dressed differently but predominately black.  The whole thing however is quite uneventful and there are no real distinguishing features.

Saturday, May 11, 2019

SECOND REHEARSALS

Everybody, apart from the automatic finalists, has had their first and second rehearsals - I'll be commenting on them tomorrow. All the stage rehearsing for the semis is now done and dusted - nothing more can be done! Soon we will know which half of the draw the 6 finalists will draw and after each semi final the participants will draw their placing in the post show press conferences.

Monday afternoon will see a full dress run of semi final one followed by a full uninterrupted filmed show. This has two important roles -  in the event of technical difficulties this show will be shown on the Tuesday night, plus this is the show that the 41 national juries will be voting on, you certainly can't win qualification in this show but it certainly can be lost. Semi1 proper will then he held on the Tuesday. This process is the repeated on Wednesday and Thursday for Semi 2.

Here are my last impressions of what's on show in the two semi finals


SEMI 1

CYPRUS
The wet look is not flattering. The male dancers are not really as involved as I would like in from the camera’s perspective seem superfluous. The ‘replay’ part is over egging the pudding. Vocals are not good. Either Tamta or/and her backing singer are out of tune and fighting for supremacy.

MONTENEGRO
The choreography is static and dated but they pretty much nail it. The song seems slower than I remember and I am willing it to get up to speed, which it obviously doesn’t. The outfits actually look quite nice. Their individual voices aren’t bad but together the harmonies don’t quite work.

FINLAND
On the positive side Sebastian sings this really well and is on the beat and in tune. That said the visual are too spaced out and separated – nothing connects. Darude himself is stuck in a corner on keyboard and the dancer is centre stage on the iceberg. If all three were in shot of each other it’d be better.

POLAND
Lots of zoom in/zoom out shots which don’t really work as all they do is emphasise the space and lack of movement. The girls’ dresses look a bit messy and their jackets make the arms up movements shoulder-heavy although their headdresses look lovely. Vocally their voices are very clear.

SLOVENIA
Staging has the openness of space yet also seems small and intimate, almost and the whole thing works. The camera work is clever with reminisces of “Calm after the storm” for Netherlands a few years back. The way the almost ignore the audience and the camera strangely works. Vocals are fine.

CZECHIA
From the outset this looks really fresh and contemporary. Albert hogs most of the camera time dancing and moving around the whole set but the other two also get a look in. The white staging really emphasises the colours on the backdrop and on their clothing. The vocals from all seem clear.

HUNGARY
The stage is filled with gold lines which for the outlines of different shapes and pictures. Although I really like the black and gold staging, having Joci also in black makes him totally invisible – unless that’s the point…? Joci’s voice waivers at times ad at points I feel like he is forcing it a bit too much.

BELARUS
ZENA’s outfit is very different from the national final and the whole thing has been sexed up a bit. There is a lot going on and she gets totally lost with the changing backgrounds and the brightly coloured backing singers. However her voice sounds really clear and powerful in the high parts.

SERBIA
The camera work here is pretty spot on and has a nice balance of near and far shots. The problem here is that Nevena is so busy emoting she is coming across as slightly aggressive. Also at times she sings in such a sway you can’t see her face just a solitary leg. Not a camera friendly performance.

BELGIUM
This unfortunately just comes across as messy and unrehearsed. The background with the wavy stripes is very effective but the way Eliot and his two drummers are dressed looks  sloppy and out of step with the song. Eliot doesn’t look confident in his face and his vocals are not quite on time.

GEORGIA
This is how staging makes an OK song totally amazing. Oto’s personality really ignites in this setting with the floor projections of a walkway the towers of fire and puffs of pyro. The addition of the choir in a line is so effective with the camera angles, Oto could even get away with moving a little less.

AUSTRALIA
The use of the “edge of the world” projection on screen is really effective and make is look like she’s flying. This is a very technical show and lots of things could go very wrong. Kate looks amazing in her dress and looks very calm and collected. Voice was ok but not going full blast.

ICELAND
This now looks very strong. The use of the globe/cog makes a focal point which the others move around. There is a lot of pyro which adds to the vertical backdrop. Unlike many acts there is a lot of movement but it is captured well in the many camera angles. Vocals are sounding good.

ESTONIA
Victor really sounds like he is struggling with the higher notes in the chorus. This is a shame as he is looking very much at home on the stage. You can actually see him too! I question why the stormy background is so strobing because if deflects attention away from Victor which is not a good thing

PORTUGAL
Conan and Joao look well rehearsed and to the trained Eurovision eye this looks pretty much like their national final performance. The green costume has a great sheen to it.To the casual viewer this will probably look and sound really very odd. I am starting to miss the face spoons

GREECE
This sounds absolutely amazing and the visuals on stage are really eye-catching but something here is very amiss Although there is a lot going on it’s all a bit disjointed almost like there is too much. I want to see more of Katerine looking at the camera and fewer wide sweeping shots.

SAN MARINO
The visual effect of the white costumes against the stripy background is effective and creates a lot of extra movement down the camera. Unfortunately we need more actual movement from Serhat but he’s stuck on his podium. Serhat’s vocals are really not the best and seem quite out of tune in places.


SEMI 2

ARMENIA
Srbuk looks quite conservative and formal in her black trouser suit and in the long shots is totally invisible. Her voice seems really clear although during the end part the backing singers are doing most of the singing. The pyrotechnics are a bit OTT and the staggering about is a little disconcerting.

IRELAND
Oh dear, this looks very awkward. You can tell Sarah is being stretched to her chorographical limit because her face looks distant like she’s counting in her head and her vocals seem less than full. On the plus point the set is very individual and I quite like Sarah’s costume and hair.

MOLDOVA
Ana’s sartorial choice is odd, especially as the basic dress is nice but the one puffy sleeve choice makes her look unbalanced. The ‘snow art’ in the background is obviously sped up so makes you wonder why the artist is even there. Anan’s voice is powerful even if her pronunciation is not.

SWITZERLAND
The shots for this are well formed especially as most of them contain Luca and his 4 backing dancers and keep their formation well stuck in your brain. The dancing is slick and Luca is able to join in, in a low-key way. That said I am less pleased with so much red and fuzziness in the background

LATVIA
Most of the camera time is focused on the lead singer who is wearing a green hat, which is a little at odds with the rest of the styling. The bokeh look is used in the background but not as a filter on the camera and the atmosphere is now flat. Sabine’s vocals seem ok although she looks quite nervous.

ROMANIA
This is probably the song which uses the video wall to its best. Ester sings well and when she gets camera time she looks great – apart from that arm! Ester is still dressed a Victorian headmistress but her footwear makes her look stumpy and the two backing singers dressed as schoolgirls.

DENMARK
Leonora sings this well but she should so because she’s sat down for most of it! The bright colours in the backdrop make this eye-catching especially with the monochrome participants in front of it. Visually it has a clear narrative but apart from the chair movements this is rather boring.

SWEDEN
Vocally this sounds fine although I’d like the backing singers turned up more, mainly because they bring so much richness to the song. The strobing in the background is a little monotonous and could be flashier and more random. John is looking a bit self-conscious, especially his left arm.

AUSTRIA
Goosebumps. The whole auditorium is blacked out and Paenda is stood in a spotlight. There are streaks of light flashing around her and the triangles on the roof light up and it looks truly magical. Her voice is a little shrill but it actually complements the emotion of the song. Good work.

CROATIA
The ending part has too many long shots and once again he’s invisible although this time it’s white against white. The stage looks better when in light colours. Roko is wearing his gold wings but they don’t affect his voice too much although he looks strained. The fanatical cutting shots don’t fit at all.

MALTA
The adaptation f the backdrop into a giant green screen is an interesting one and although it makes the act pop with colour it looks more like a music video than an actual live performance. Michela’s voice is fine and she looks quite comfortable although I really hope she has a better outfit.

LITHUANIA
Jurij looks like she ditched the jacket when does help him with getting his arm movements right. The shot to the roof with his hand is a good one.Once again the long shots linger for a little too long but shot chopping motif in the chorus does work. Jurij sings ok but a bit pitchy in the chorus.

RUSSIA
The use of the video boxes hones the eye and makes the stage much smaller. The screens build up the story really well and keeps you guessing! Unfortunately the whole thing comes across as very dark and lacking in movement. Sergey seems to be singing ok but the choir are turned up loud.

ALBANIA
Here there are quite a few long shots but they seem to tie in with Jonida’s long notes so don’t seem too out of joint. Her 3 backing singers are visible and are doing a very good job creating the mood. The ring of fire makes finding her very easy She seems very much at ease vocally.

NORWAY
This is starting to look really good now. The use of the long shots brings in the flashing triangles on the roof as well as the video wall landscape. They are also easy to spot throughout and are cohesive but also different. The projections during the joik are beautiful. Sounding good too.

NETHERLANDS
Duncan is sounding really good and his backing singers are also doing a nice job. Having Duncan sat at the piano really does not work for me, he feels distant, distracted and not looking at the audience or the camera. The mottled sky background fades in really nicely to the blackness around him.

NORTH MACEDONIA
Tamara looks very striking in her green dress and blond hair. The mirror effect is used off and on which is not a bad call. Her voice sounds good without feeling too strained. She’s not quite catching the camera when looking straight. Personally, I would like to see more open hand gestures rather than fists.

AZERBAIJAN
This is visually very striking. Chingiz is stood against a triangle and 2 robot arms projects lines on him. On the backdrop there is a gold heart beating in time with the music. The arena is bathed in red and blue. His voice doesn’t sound bad live but needs to keep the tempo and not quicken up.

Wednesday, May 08, 2019

REHEARSALS ROUND UP

Since Saturday 4th all of the delegations and participants have been gracing the brand new Eurovision stage in Tel Aviv. For many of the acts, especially those chosen via internal selection, this has been the first time we've seen their stage setups. It also gives us a very clear idea about how confident the acts are and how good they are vocally. Of course this is not the be all and and all as over the 2 weeks of rehearsing, nerves and technical issues can ruin their run throughs so not all is lost. Anyway isn't getting things wrong and working through the nerves part of rehearsing? Better to get all that sorted early on I say !

In this mini round up I am going to look at the semi-finalists first rehearsals and comment quickly on their staging ideas as well as any sartorial cues we might be getting. As I will have only watched a few clips, less will be said about vocal performance - that'll probably be something of not to write about after their second go. I'll do a second post on Sunday or Monday where I'll look at the first rehearsal of the six finalists and make some bold predictions !

SEMI FINAL 1

CYPRUS
Tamta is in a tight black jacket and thigh high boots but there is a costume change early on revealing a rathery spangly bondange-esque leotard. She has 4 backing dancers dressed in black also but are sporting very wide hats which really put me off. The backdrop seems quite vertical and colourful but no distinct theme in place.

MONTENEGRO
Pretty predictable. All six of them are on stage, sometimes they sing to each other in pairs sometimes they are singing in a line across the stage. There also seems to be some dancing and fist-pumping choreography. Like in the video they are all wearing slightly different versions of the same white trouser suit with red embellishments..

FINLAND
Darude is static at his little mixing desk while Sebastian works the crowd by going and and down the V-shaped runways. They are also joined by a female dancer on top of what looks like a light up iceberg. The backdrop alternates between plain blue and different environmental videos. Sebastian's leather jeans are hopefully just for practising! 

POLAND
The four girls are covered in large red veils which cover their faces for the first part of the song but their faces however appear on the video wall behind them They are dressed in national dress and large ornate floral headdresses.  They are also spinning on a small platform which is the only movement on stage apart from swaying.

SLOVENIA
The dup are once again dressed in white, with Zala singing, Gašper on guitar and both of them behind a small keyboard. They are centre stage and seem very small on the large space. The stage is very dark with a deep galaxy feel. There is very little to the actual act and I get the feeling that the camerawork will be doing all the work for this one.

CZECHIA
Lake Malawi are having a lot of fun here. The bandmates have small platforms which look like photo frames. They are dressed in bright bold colour blocks which is mirrored in the backdrop. Albert, the lead singer, is having a lot of fun on stage and is moving around a lot and engaging with the wider crowd and catching the eye of the cameras too.

HUNGARY
Joci is dressed in black and is singing centre stage. The backdrop looks like small lines of stars or fire joining up into the far distance. There are pictures of fathers made upf of the small dots too. Joci seems very small on stage and with the dark staging and dark clothes he is almost invisible. Guessing more camera trickery for this.

BELARUS
The props seemingly have not arrived so are dancing around boxes. Zena has two male dancers and lots of unseen backing singers. Her styling and dance routine seems to have got a bit raunchier which is a bit of a shame. The backdrop is very odd which geometric symbols, random animals and a picture of Zena with a multicoloured head...

SERBIA
Nevena has changed very little visually from the national final. Her dress is a little more refined and has a bigger slit on her leg but she still has the odd trinkets on her hands and arms. Behind her, the backdrop is dark switching between storms and creeping frost. She is very static although she does a lot of emoting with her arms.

BELGIUM
The video wall switches between wide geometric horizons and wavy vertical lines. Eliot is joined by a male and female drummer who have two large drums either side of the stage but they also move around the whole stage and join in the chorus arm movements. Eliot does very little. He seems to have come dressed as a parachutist.

GEORGIA
Oto is centre stage with his 5 man choir visible on stage from the start. The backdrop shows clear blue skies and snowy mountains but slowly turns dark and begins to be engulfed by fire. All the singers are dressed in plain black and essentially do very little but the whole effect makes it quite menacing and dramatic.

AUSTRALIA
Instead of one woman up a pole - we have three - and in the biggest shock on the rehearsals Kate is one of them! Kate is wearing her trademark tiara and dressed in a white floaty gown whilst the other two are in black. The backdrop has another space theme but this time it gives the very powerful illusion that she is actually flying.

ICELAND
From the national final performance the only thing that has changed is that the two drums and a hammer has turned into a large cog/sphere being hit by a cat o nine tails. The performance is effectively the same, as is the backdrop and stage outfits, although I suspect some parts will be affected by camera angles.

ESTONIA
Another slot that seems barely changed from the national final. Unfortunately most of this rehearsal was taken up with the filming and re-filming and re-re-filming of the prerecorded insert with the computer aided background near the end of the show. That actually meant very little was done today which could be costly.

PORTUGAL
Conan and his dancer, João, have the same setup and routine as the national final but the visuals are a little different. The backdrop is very red and focuses of the rose motifs. Boh are dressed in lush emerald green pleated outfits. Conan's gold spoon facial adornments are gone and have been replaced with large black sideburns.

GREECE
Katerine is joined by 3 backing singers dressed in powdery yellow dresses and two female fencers with swords. On stage there is also a small gazebo-esque platform and lots of odd little props. Katerine is wearing a heavily jewelled white dress and everybody has big hair. The backdrop in lilac has the motif of petals and flowers.

SAN MARINO
Serhat is on a small platform centre stage with three female singers to his side. In front are two male dancers carrying light up megaphones, mostly used for the 'na na na' bits. The words of the song are also on the backdrop. I was hoping this would be a bit more interactive with the fans in the auditorium so maybe it'll look better on tv.


SEMI FINAL 2

ARMENIA
Srbuk is alone on stage and more high thigh boots are on show. There seems to be a fair bit of choreography but seems quite static. The video wall and lighting seems quite nondescript but wonder if there will be a change of mood during teh key change at the end. The whole thing looks very sparse and little.

IRELAND
On stage there is a table making the stage into a 1950's style diner. The back drop is very colourful with lots of primary colours, chequered and Lichtenstein inspired art work which follows the narrative of the song. Sarach is joined on stage by two female dancers who she interacts with. Wondering if too much is happening.

MOLDOVA
The Ukrainian Mystic Meg sand artist from ages ago is back! Anna is stood at the front of the stage in a white dress with one full length puffy sleeve. The actions of the sand artist (although it looks more like salt than sand) is projected onto the backdrop, although you quickly realise its not actually happening live which spoils the magic to be honest!

SWITZERLAND
Luca is dressed in a t-shirt and trousers and his backing dancers are dressed in red outfits. The backdrop is a bit messy and looks more like television interference than something that would emphasise the power of the song. There seems to be a fair amount of energetic dancing which might affect his vocals.

LATVIA
An almost identikit performance to the one during the national final. The band are spread out on the stage with the singer in the middle. The backdrop has the bokeh effects of lights and makes it quite atmospheric although very little happens on stage. I guess most of the tricks and magic will come from the camera lens.

ROMANIA
Ester starts sat on her chair centre stage but is soon joined on stage by two male dancers. She also has a guitarist at the side and some backing vocalists out of sight. The backdrop is very dramatic with an animation of crumbling buildings falling into pits of fire. She is dressed a bit like a couture victorian schoolgirl.

DENMARK
Another translation of its winning national final show. Leonora still has her big chair as well as the two ladder wielding friends, which I still don't really understand. This time she is joined by 2 female backing singers on the chair which does make for more interaction. The backdrop is full of skyscapes and sunbeams.

SWEDEN
John is dressed in black, although  he looks a little more smart than at Melfest. His four female backing singers are also dressed in black but with nice spangly detailing. Their layout on stage seems unchanged as does their choreography on stage. He still has the Kanye light effect above him bit seems a little out of place here.

AUSTRIA
They have tried really hard to capture the intimacy of the music video on stage and I think this will look very effective on the television screen. There is barely any backdrop at times, instead is looks more like the slight shimmer of light on sequins. She is styled exactly the same as her music video and still has her blue hair.

CROATIA
Roko has traded in his fluffy white wings for a pair of gold metallic ones. He is also joined on stage by two mare chested dancers who also sport the same wings. Everybody is also dressed in white and around them is our first main use of dry ice. This effect is also shown by the clouds on the backdrop, giving a heavenly effect.

MALTA
They have brought their own alternate background this year to try and emphasise the 'chameleon' aspect of the song. Michaela is in white and is joined by 4 dancers whose clothing changes colour when in front of the multicoloured lights which is a good effect, however their actual dancing is rather odd and a little off-putting.

LITHUANIA
Jurij is alone centre stage with just a mic stand for company. The backdrop is mostly black with blocks of sequined light which comes in with the beat of the music. The stage feels very big and he looks very small. Jurij is also dressed quie darkly which makes him seems almost invisible, he has backing singers who are off stage.

RUSSIA
Rain and fake mirrors. Sergey sings most of the first part in a lit up box however his visage is repeated slightly differently on a number of different boxes scattered on stage. The backdrop is mainly storm clouds , thunder and lightning (2015 reference!). He, and all his mirror images are dressed in white.

ALBANIA
Jonida has a new dress which is black and floaty and has some interesting if not confusing gold embellishments on the front. The act seems to be quite static and she doesn't seem to have anyone else on stage. The backdrop is quite muted and dark but does give the effect of having steel pillars holding up the whole stage.

NORWAY
KEiiNO are dressed in black whilst the backdrop behind them shows a neon computerised mountainous landscape of blues and greens, mirroring the colours of the northern lights. They also have some dry ice and take it in turns to take the centre spot. There is a lot more movement than in the national final

NETHERLANDS
Duncan is seated at his keyboard for the whole song. The backdrop is a moody shade of blue and has a mottled effect like clouds with some lasers. Next to him the is a large globe light hanging up and a bright spotlight shining from the side. Not being able to see him  sucks away every inch of it's power and now lacks individuality.

NORTH MACEDONIA
Tamara uses a similar effect to Russia with the backdrop made into a number of faux mirrors but this works much better as they are all doing the same thing and it is clear where you eye should be focusing. She is wearing a black and green dress which is individual but not over the top. She hs backing singers but are off stage.

AZERBAIJAN
Chingiz is stoon in from of a neon triangle and on each side of that there are two small robots. which also do some projections.Chingiz is wearing a strange half layered top which is slightly different shades of grey. The backdrop looks quite textured and seems to pulse and shake in time with the music. This will look great on camera.

Sunday, May 05, 2019

Alternative Lyrics

For the last few years I have taken it upon myself to try and rewrite some of this years songs to make them, well, funnier. This year, quite a few songs this year are not in English which has made it harder but also some of the lyrics this year are almost beyond parody.... If you know the songs already they will probably make a bit more sense!!!

CZECHIA
She's only a foe of a foe of a foe of a foe
She's never home 'cause she works as a ho
She's had Pete and Al and Joe
She's only a foe of a foe of a foe of a foe

UNITED KINGDOM
The digger's for us
It's gonna uproot the tree
This digger's for us
It's gonna clear everything we see

ROMANIA
You left me with a sundae
And I still remember that day in September
Yeah you left me with a sundae
Made sure there’s no way that you had to pay

RUSSIA
Get wood for the fire
Then fix the hairdryer
Then put on the frier
Clean the kitchen today
I'll scour hard, sweep the yard
Then breastfeed the new baby
It screams

LITHUANIA
Come on, come on, let your feelings out
Come on, come on, get your freedom now
Run wild
Run with all your strength, with all your might - THE WINNER TAKES IT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
(extra points if you get that random and niche reference 🍈🗡🍈🗡🍈🗡)

GERMANY
I see flames in your eyes
Damn, they burn so bright
Don’t you try to hide it
Christer, Christer, Christer
Mr Bjorkman
Christer, Christer, Christer

NETHERLANDS
I've got all of the cash I’ve saved
So many shops but they're all the same
Small town boy in the Queens Arcade
Shopping in Cardiff is a losing game

BELGIUM
I came to bite, I came to bite into you
Don't want your fries, don't want your fries, I need fruit
I have the right, I have the right not to queue
I will so cry, I will so cry and I'll sue

ISRAEL
I see the rain outside my door
And I am mournful, I am woeful
Do we dare stay and go soft play?
It made me mournful, I am woeful
And now I can't be arsed, we'll stay at home

MALTA
Give me ham, I'm a hamster
Give me hips, I'm a hipster
Give me toes I'm a toaster

Make me cry, sing "cry baby"
Take my bladder, Tena Lady
I like boats, especially gravy

SWITZERLAND
When she sidesteps, when she sidesteps
Or she backsteps, or she backsteps
Oh, she feint steps
Oh, her feint steps got me morris dancing

SAN MARINO
Say Sean Banan
On a dark deserted way, say Sean Banan
There's a light for you that waits, it's Sean Banan
Say Sean Banan, say Sean Banan
You're not alone, so stand up, Sean Banan
Be a hero, be the rainbow, and sing Sean Banan
Say Sean Banan
(more points for getting the melfest reference)

MONTENEGRO
Calling, this is Hear'Say calling, this is Bro'Sis calling, wanting our act back 
Calling, S Club 7 calling this is A*Teens calling, wanting our act back
Calling, Scootch and Deuce we're calling, Six4One is calling wanting our act back
Calling now Ralph Siegel's calling, he'll just keep on calling wanting his schtick back

NORWAY
You threw your spirit in the sky
When northern lads are dancing
Eyup Eyupah, Eyup Eyupah
I hear you whipping up a fight
The northern lads are belting
Eyup Eyupah, Eyup Eyupah