DVVH on the BBC

On Friday, the day before Eurovision, I returned to BBC Radio Bristol to talk to Steve Yabsley about this year's Eurovision song contest. For those of you who remember I did the same last year and was asked back again this year!

As you will see I made some fairly insightful predictions...!

Here is the  BBC iplayer link -  http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p02r42zy - however I will put up a file of the audio some time soon. My bit is about 30mins in :)

SOA 2015 episode 5

It's the last episode of Shite or Alright and so here ends our 2015 Eurovision journey... until we al get pissed off about who qualifies and then one someone shit or predictable wins.... XD

 During this podcast we uncover a few home truths..
Who has Måns Zelmerlöw been taking singing lessons from?
What did Mørland do in his early youth?
How much does Mr Jopijedd not like Azerbaijan?
When will Eurovision be renamed "The Voice of Eurovision" ?
What did Mr Jopijedd think happened to Junior Eurovision contestants once the show is over?

And we unveil our overall winner - which now has been given the kiss of death and fail by getting a DNQ...


Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/soa1505

Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)

SOA 2015 episode 4

We start as we mean to go on by starting with a really inappropriate introduction... in the meaning that it is totally untrue!

There is some excitement as we celebrate a very lonely key change, @mrs_forky gets very angry at @jopijedd for not liking one of her favourite songs... we also get a bit UKIP (in a very ironic way) but most of all we spend most of the time wondering what the songs sound like in a non-plagiaristic way of course...

If you know what Plaid Cymru is you might get one of the jokes. we do far too many Mrs Brown-esque "that's nice", we segue into "Czarna Dziewczyna" for no reason whatsoever and Squirt gets quite gurgly in the second half and seemingly joins in by headbanging to one of the songs!

Plus - VRT - if you are by any chance listening, we suggest who Belgium needs to send or at least write their entry next year... PLEASE...!

This podcast has 2 very odd adverts but its also brought to you by Yazz and the ministry of Hot Mess.

Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/soa1504

Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)

SOA 2015 episode 3

Another 8 entries are put through the wringer by @mrs_forky and @jopijedd !

This week starts off on a topical note with a late election result... any similarity to any real political parties referenced in the sketch is of course totally co-incidental...

This podcast brings up many issues...
How many gimmicks is too many?
Should anybody be able to do Eurovision?
Can a song be too earnest?
Does anybody else know of Rolando the opera singer bloke?

We also have more TOP QUALITY* adverts

*possibly not....

One country in this episode gets a full 10 points - will that be matched in the final 2 episodes...?

Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/soa1503

Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)

SOA 2015 episode 2

More silliness, more pointless adverts and this time ACTUAL baby noises! He does exists everyone!!!

This episode starts of with a random special guest... or is it...?
Lots of silliness to be had during the podcast but mostly we end up posing many a meaningful, and not so meaningful, question.. Most of which have answers far from our grasp...

Which song helped us create our own 'forgotten' girl supergroup?
Which song needs to restyle itself as a dance track?
Which act do we imagine Princess Charlotte would like?
Which song do we think is a bit Studio Brussel?
Which duet make me think of 3-2-1?
Which act is more SUBO than ASBO?
Which song is Vince Clarke circa 1995?

Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/soa1502

Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)

SOA 2015 episode 1

Better late than never but here is our first of 5 "Shite or Alright" podcasts showcasing this year's 40 eurovision entries about the battle it out in Vienna!

@mrs_forky and @jopijedd are back for another year but this year we have an extra voice on the podcast as our brand new baby son Marcus (also known colloquially as Squirt) gurgles and coos away in the background. He is surprisingly chilled out during this episode - don't expect it to be like this EVERY podcast!

We start as we mean to go and and actually end up not saying very much at all about anything... except for making random and quite narrow cultural references

Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/soa1501

Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)

Early Predictions

A very quick wrap up podcast before Eurovision in Concert and my own impending delivery!

I go over my top 40 and look at who I would say my 10 qualifiers for semis one and two would be. As you will see, I think there are some shoo-ins but a few borderline cases. The big question is, will any country lose their 100% qualification record?

Finally I have a little moan-ette about pregnancy and list some of the things that have annoyed me and got me down during the last 9 months.

Don't know when the next podcast will be but there will probably be an extra body in the room when I do it!!!

Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2015earlypredictions

Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)

MY TOP 40 OF ESC 2015

01) Slovenia

Everything but the kitchen sink... and works!

This individual ditty is jam-packed full of visual and aural ticks. The headphone motif is odd yet totally memorable, the miming violinist is genius and Marjetka's unusual tone engages you from the start. An utterly compelling song with a upbeat and positive feeling. I love the message of the song... it's ok... I'm not crying, I just have something in my eye...

02) Belarus
And about time too that Belarius sent a decent song!

A proper little pop song with a great structure. The recent revamp of the song did it massive favours as it helped build the song up better from the start and get rid of some dead air. He's not a bad singer, although I'm not sure about the Matrix-eque look is quite him. We can only hope the hourglass/sand timer/cog wheel meme is kept on for the stage.

03) Belgium

Lordi, Lorde, Loic....

Loic wrote this number with help from his Voice Belgique mentor and should be the hit of the contest. He is a great performer, has an intriguing vocal pitch and timbre, a slightly Frenchy accent as well as being a great mover and some eye candy for the boys and girls to ogle at. However the draw did not fall in his favour but surely class will out...?

04) FYR Macedonia

If One Republic did Eurovision.

Another radio friendly, contemporary number. Although the mother tongue version was good, the English version connects more and the slightly slower backing track has a melancholic quality that makes you listen. His voice sounds so good live and I just hope he can connect to the camera - and doesn't do any "drunk dad at a wedding" dancing.

05) Sweden

Was it all about the artwork...? Possibly.

The song is a very Swedish aural production. Måns is a confident performer with an casual and approachable look. Has a great build to the first up-tempo chorus but as we now know the M-fest visuals are out - what will we see in Vienna? I commented that the song was over reliant on the projection and this might be an opportunity for a total revamp.

06) Estonia

Film Noir meets post-communist '60s retro pop.

Another duet, another melancholic song but this has an interesting quality which could make it a huge radio hit. Many criticise their black and white live performances of lacking in charisma, interaction and appeal but that's exactly what the song is about. It's not a typical Eurovision song but they reek of class and style and will be loved by juries.

07) Norway

Norway is a dark place... and has found its meme.

After the success of last year's internalistic, brooding ballad this time they've got a duet to sing act 2. An emotional and well harmonised ballad and wide in terms of vocal range. The camera work and production of this in the National Final was genius and can hopefully be replicated in Vienna. But what we all want to know is... what *did* he do...?

08) Lithuania

Mumford and girlfriend.

This feel good song interacts well with the audience but also makes the singers connect with each other. Probably the only happy duet of the whole bunch. The song is a little predictable in structure but has a couple of great hooks. However what we will really wonder about is how they will be doing *that kiss* in the middle of the song...

09) Australia

One-off appearance = One-off win?

Rumours of a ballad from his last album being the entry didn't seem to go down well with the Euro-fans and may have influenced this last-minute songwriting session. This has a great beat and will no doubt have support from the crowd. Will have an amount of novelty value but is cool enough to be heard on many radio stations around the continent.

10) Latvia

Too classy? Too modern?

This girl has such an amazing voice. The self-penned song shows off the different facets of her range and tone, so much so that one might think this was a duet or a trio rather than one girl singing the whole thing. She is also visually striking (i.e. damn beautiful) and the way she presents herself with the armography is very individual.

11) Cyprus

Male version of "Stronger every minute".

Another melancholy ballad but with a gentle backing track and poignant lyrics. A favourable draw could also beef up its chances in the semi-final. John is a geeky looking singer which may appeal to hipsters, radio 2 listeners AND the singer-songwriter lovers. The a cappella part in the middle needs to be spot on to make full impact. Less may well be more.

12) Romania

The best of the non-English entries.

The song has a lilting melancholic quality, so much so you don't need a full translation to understand what the song is about. Can imagine many Romanians and eastern Europeans voting for the sentiment of the song in their adoptive countries. Visually they need to make use of the backdrops, like in the music video, as otherwise it will lack a sense of show.

13) Poland

A ballad... with a tune... AND a chorus!

This gentle ballad conveys great meaning and you can tell that it comes from a genuine place. The chorus has a great repetitive basis, especially for a ballad but never quite gets boring. Should also be easy to sing live. Will be interesting to see how (or IF) they use the singer's disability to sell the song. Got a great draw in the semi which should see it through easily.

14) Israel

A bit like the clap - annoying but catchy.

First of all the video is hideous and I hope none of the dancing or styling tips will be seen on stage in Vienna. Secondly the lyrics are totally abysmal and the rhymes are excruciating. This all said and done it is a thumping summer song with a Mediterranean/Eastern flavour which stands out amongst the grey ballads and female empowerment songs.

15)  The Netherlands

12 points from the Geordie jury goes to...

This Anouk-penned number has a great but very repetitive chorus. A strong and safe radio friendly song which has a predictable structure and not many words. I feel the tempo could be just a tiny bit quicker and maybe the beat could get stronger or more pronounced by the time the song gets to the end. I just hope she doesn't come across too mutton dressed as lamb...

16) Hungary

Less is most definitely more.

This gentle peace ballad at the very least seems genuine. Although billed as a solo piece this song is more a choral number and wouldn't work without the blending of all the other voices and it's. The song has been slightly shafted by its position in the semi and may have come out better next to two ballads rather than between 2 up-tempo numbers.

17) Iceland

Queen Elsa meets Pocahantas meets Emmelie de Forest.

Maria does a very good job of playing the cute but feisty pixie with a big voice. A great- almost Junior eurovision - song that builds well from the very beginning. However the recent rewrite was a bit odd as it makes it feel like the song should be called "one step at a time" No fist punching required though. A little bit sad about the loss of the dancers.

18) Germany

It's not the winning but the taking part that counts.

Although Ann Sophie did not win the national final I think this was probably the best outcome. A contemporary number with a shouty - very shouty - chorus. I hope she changes out of that old, lounge/cruise ship/cabaret outfit and wears something more modern instead. Won't stir up too much emotion but won't offend anybody either.

19) Moldova

It's like Aaron Carter never went out of fashion.

I am surprised that this song is so high up my list but the real lack of really poppy up-tempo numbers have caused this to happen. Although he seems like a total egotist with an attitude to match - the song, especially the chorus, is very catchy. Let's just hope the Conchita joke is left behind or he might get a slap... actually keep it in, Eduard...

20) Austria

A case of hosts playing safe.

This is a pretty inoffensive song which sounds like about 3 other songs rolled into one. The piano on fire is a nice touch at the end although I hope the singer doesn't use flammable hairspray OR has a decent haircut before May. Has a nice radio friendly, bluesy, 60s feel which will appeal or possibly provide a much needed break to go and put the kettle on.

21) Russia

Do what I say don't do what I do.

As a song this is a good old fashioned, lighters up, anthemic ballad with a great hook in the chorus. If it was all about the song, and not about where it's from this would be up there as a possible winner. However, as someone with a conscience, I listen to this song and feel like this is so totally wrong. Like last year, the song will be accompanied by its own booing chorus.

22) Serbia

I will survive - Eurovision style.

One would think I like this song, but there is so much about this that puts me off. She is a great singer and the backing track is amazing. The kick in the middle of the song really makes it stand out. The song sounded much better in Serbian plus the English lyrics are just cringe worthy. It feels really patronising, far too touchy-feely and too in your face.

23) Georgia

Winner of the Warrior battle.

A feisty little number with a distinctive sound and look. That said the lyrics are odd, if not totally made up, and slightly indecipherable. It's had a bit of a revamp which has beefed up the backing track but it totally swamps Nina's vocal. She looks like the type of girl who may kill if she doesn't qualify so you may well want to vote for her just in case...

24) Montenegro

Željko Joksimović and his new puppet play thing.

Last year Montenegro finally qualified with a song Željko could only write in his dreams. This year they have him on board and have sent the same old Željko Eurovision ballad. The last minute is actually not bad but it's a shame you fall asleep before you get there. Knez looks and sounds like a decent bloke but he won't be who we're talking about.

25) Italy

Three Tenors Juniors.

A great stylistic choice and really stands out against everything being sent this year. At least you can recognise that this is so typically and culturally Italian. However if this is not your style of music or impressed by this kind of thing then you are going to find it annoying. It feels like it should be more spectacular than it is and could be visually boring.

26) Czech Republic

Soft... Rock... Hallelujah.

It's nice to see them back and have returned with something very typical. As time goes on this is slowly moving up my chart as it is at least different to the run of the mill ballads this year. His voice is very Eastern European and therefore distinctive. The chorus has shades of Metallica about it. Could be a real surprise qualifier with a good show.

27) Albania

It feels like no song is good enough for her voice.

The replacement for "Diell" is much more punchier than the original chosen song but the new song's 'chorus' is terribly repetitive to the point where it starts getting on your nerves. Not sure it stands out enough in its semi-final. There is no doubt that she can sing but her voice can sound a bit screechy and a bit like a kazoo or sea lion when she pushes it.

28) United Kingdom

Doop meets Birds Eye Potato Waffles.

At least it's not a ballad and at least it's trying to be lighted hearted and fun. Could be quite the visual show if any of the ideas from the video are taken into account. The main issue is that the song is over produced and might not be anywhere near as impressive live. Don't even think about who in their right mind would actually vote for it though... 

29) Finland

Eurovision's first (and possibly last) Punk number.

This has had a lot of publicity and much has been made of the lack of song and its shortness. As a punk song, it does exactly what it says on the tin. It is anti-eurovision and anti-establishment and from that point of view they win if they qualify and win if they don't. I just hope people don't get too 'sympathetic' because if they do, they've missed the point.

30) Ireland

Lucie Silvas meets Delta Goodrem *snore*

This song as a modern singer-songwriter ballad which probably would be easily heard on any mainstream Irish radio station. It may well be simple but in ESC terms it is so relaxed it is horizontal. The verses and choruses don't really have much differentiation and she is another singer who sounds like she needs to give her nose an good old blow.

31) Portugal

Portugal doing what they do best. Being Portugal.

I will give them some credit for choosing quite a modern sounding song with a relatively straightforward tune. Although radio friendly, I'm not sure it's Eurovision friendly. I'm a fan of mother tongues but this would probably improve in English. Leonor's voice is weak and combined with the Portuguese language it just sounds like Dido with a bad cold.

32) Switzerland

Nothing like Destiny's Child, nothing to see here.

The recent revamp really put me off this once powerful and voice led ballad. She's one of the better singers of this year but the song now sounds far too aggressive and feisty in the backing track and seems incongruous to message in the lyrics. If she turns up looking like a 'moody Pocahontas' as she does in the video she will have absolutely no chance.

33) Malta

Next up - the indecipherable lyrics round.

Another song that seems to be a hit with the fans but not me. An example where they've only bothered to write a chorus and even that sounds like nails on a chalk board or the whining sound you get on a microphone. The singer has a really over-active mouth and it feels like she's over-doing it. Someone needs to tell her that less is sometimes more.

34) San Marino

Less Frozen, more like a damp squib.

When this duo was announced I was all set for a nice bit of  up-tempo Junior Eurovision fun and frolics to spice up an otherwise serious sounding adult Eurovision. A song that shows initial promise before going Disney or should that be parody of Disney. Instead we got an over indulgent ballad that could have been performed (better) by Tor and Bettan.

35) Azerbaijan

Not the comeback I was expecting.

Was hoping to hear something edgy and more rock influenced but this odd and fragmented number has me confused. The verses are instantly forgettable and only the first line of the chorus stays in my head. The changes in backing track tempo frazzle my brain and make it stop start. Plus I'm still not sure what the hell it has to do with hours... or wolves...

36) France

Sentimental, but someone forgot to write a song.

Another case of great idea, awful execution. The story behind the song projects a great idea, especially taking into account current politics, but the lack of pace and ooomph leaves me lacking. Live versions have, though, seen some changes in key and melody that could see it be redeemed. She doesn't seem like a bad singer but she has been made to look drab and uninspired.

37) Greece

Rise like a soufflé.

The song is a real snooze-fest and totally uninspiring. It doesn't sound very Greek which could be a plus point for me but actually makes it sound run of the mill in this year's contest. Maria is not a bad singer but her pronunciation is awful and her voice is really over-breathy. Only gets going in the final minute when it basically a rip off of last year's winner.

38) Armenia

A significant idea that has now lost all meaning.

I thought the whole point of this song and act was to commemorate the Armenian Genocide? But apparently it's not about that at all, so much so they changed the title of the song to "Face the Shadow" which has no meaning in relation to what they are singing. A rip-off of 'Volterai' and sung by 6 singers whose voices blend like oil and water.

39) Spain

Most over-rated song this year.

It doesn't go anywhere and she sounds like she's trying to be Shakira on "Stars in their Eyes". The only memorable thing about the chorus is the yelling at the start and even that sounds like the mating call of a very lonely goat. The video, which was pushed and pushed for what seemed like months was totally over-hyped and was style over substance and that substance is mush.

40) Denmark

...and no expense was spent...

There are absolutely no redeemable qualities about the song, the production, the performance - anything. It's made worse by the fact that the only passable aspect of the song is the input of the two female backing singers and even then they look like they've been plonked there, told not to talk to the band, made to look like sore thumbs and even then - they're miming!

SEMI FINAL DRAWS!!!!

Hopefully the next big piece of Eurovision news will be the running order of the two semi-finals.

I've had a go at setting my 'perfect' semi final draws. It's a much harder job than you think it is going to be ! I tried to take certain things into account and tried not to think about other factors...

1) ACT TYPES Have tried to keep similar acts types away from each other with at least 1 different act between e.g. not have two duets, groups, solo male or solo females in a row.

2) SONG TYPES Have also tried to keep the show fresh by not having 2 similar tempo or genre songs next to each other, especially if the act types are similar.

3) GEOGRAPHY Have tried not to think too much about geography when placing songs unless those countries has a song of similar genre, style or culture e.g. balkan ballad.

4) FAVOURITES Have also tried not to put my own favourite songs in positions that might favour them or on purposely treat songs I don't like unfairly.

5) OPENERS & CLOSERS Have attempted to choose the song in the first half that might be the most fitting opener and the song in the second half that would be a memorable closer. Although this might be seen as 'favouriting' I feel it is important to have songs that set a tone and create a bit of a full stop.

Semi 2 was much harder to place than semi 1 mainly because there were so many similar acts and genres, especially in the second half, that spacing them out in a fair and equal manner was quite tricky.

SEMI FINAL 1		SEMI FINAL 2
1st half	2nd half	1st half	2nd half
01) Netherlands 02) Armenia 03) Greece 04) Finland 05) Moldova 06) Estonia 07) FYR Macedonia 08) Belgium	09) Albania 10) Belarus 11) Russia 12) Serbia 13) Denmark 14) Hungary 15) Romania 16) Georgia	01) San Marino 02) Malta 03) Czech Republic 04) Portugal 05) Norway 06) Montenegro 07) Ireland      08) Lithuania	09) Cyprus 10) Switzerland 11) Latvia 12) Azerbaijan 13) Iceland 14) Israel 15) Slovenia 16) Poland 17) Sweden

It's not an exact science and there are so many ways of looking and interpreting the raw list before sorting them. It's also difficult not knowing what the ORF producers have in mind. They may well have their own agenda, priorities or judgements on what genres songs are in when it comes to the ordering.

Hopefully we should know the real running order very soon !

In the next blog post I will be starting counting up from 40 to my number 1 - so keep tuned on a daily basis so you can find ANOTHER reasons to disagree with me XD

MONTENEGRO

The Montenegrin entry was revealed in two parts. The singer was revealed way back in October but it was not until 18th March that the official video and release of the song was made public. In Vienna, Knez will be singing the Montenegrin-language song "Adio" (Goodbye).

Knez was internally selected by RTCG but very little was known about the song for quite a long time. It was then announced in February that the song was going to be co written by Balkan stalwart of Eurovision, Željko Joksimović. Rumours were also abound that the song was more 'up tempo' that some of his other Eurovision works which have all been quite traditional instrumented ballads.

The song a very typically composed Željko Joksimović entry. It has a distinctive long intro, odd timing and phrasing, classical orchestration, echoing drumming which culminates in a dramatic finish. It is very much in the Balkan ballad genre although it's tempo does deviate in the final minute. For those who listen to a lot of Eurovision, this song will feel very familiar and find it quite easy to listen to but for those just watching on the night many might find this tricky to get into until the final minute when the pace picks up a little bit

Knez has been an active part of the Balkan music scene since the 1990's and has extensive experience. Even at the age of 6 he was entering competitions and festivals in his native  Podgirica (known as Titograd at that time). Although known as a pop artist, he has had hits with songs with ballad, dance and turbofolk elements.

The video clip gives us idea as to what we might expect in Vienna. We could see him with 5 other backing singers although I think this unlikely as the instrumentation has been a key visual in many Željko Joksimović songs. I guess we will see 2-3 standing backing singers with 2-3 musicians, who may also provide some backing, on stage. I don't think we will have any dancers. Knez seems to emote and move quite well during the song and hopefully he can transmit that feeling and passion into the cameras on stage, especially with the song not being in a well-spoken or recognised tongue.

I have been a huge fan of Montenegro and was really looking forward to the unveiling of this song. To be honest I was really disappointed. I was hoping for something much more ooomphy and something possibly more 'out of the box' which is what I associate Montenegro to be. Personally, I am not a fan of  Željko Joksimović's work as I find it all too samey - which is the issue I have here. After a number of listens it still felt quite stale and static although after about a week of listening it is starting show more of it's light and shade. It is only really the last minute of the song that saves it from being a real Balkan dirge. Should it qualify? No. Will it? Possibly - and that will be down to people fawning over Željko rather than anything Knez and his team will be doing on the stage.

ARTIST - Knez

SONG - Adio (Goodbye)

MUSIC -  Željko Joksimović

LYRICS - Željko Joksimović, Marina Tucaković, Dejan Ivanović