RIP 2016

As an end of year 'wrap up' I've decided to take the sombre way out and take time to remember those Eurovision stars who have departed this earth in 2016. Not necessarily Eurovision acts or artists but those associated with the great show in many different ways...

There are probably more people I could have included but these were certainly the people I wanted to celebrate at this time. Maybe next year, I'll have to make a more detailed note to make this an 'end of year tradition' - as sad as it is. They are gone, but certainly not forgotten


Wishing you all thebest in 2017 x

So, you can follow the latest news, opinions and blog updates by following the site on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/ESCarmchair or you can like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ESCarmchair

You can download or listen to the latest podcast here - https://archive.org/details/ESC-RIP-2016

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ALBANIA

The Albanian final was held on the 23d December at the Palace of Congress in Tirana, hosted by Ledina Çelo & Kasem Hoxha. Before the final there were 2 semi-finals where the long list of 24 was reduced to a final of 12. For the first time ever in Festivali i Këngës history, the winner was chosen by a combination of an expert jury and online voting. The winning act was Lindita Halimi singing the song “Botë” (World)

The setting of the song is very simple with Lindita alone on the stage. The song is backing singer heavy but they may be shoved to the side-lines to concentrate on the main singer. She is very eye-catching with her small stature, long claw-like nails, beautiful flowing hair and gapped-toothed grin – all of which give her character and make her seem very likeable but also vulnerable. During the semi-final, she wore a tight fitting sparkly flesh coloured cat suit which did not suit her frame. Her dress in the final was classier and more tasteful but looked far too long on her and did not seem to suit her movement as a singer. I would suggest some time and effort be taken to dress her in something more suitable AND to work on her performance craft to the camera.

The song has an interesting introduction with some slightly unusual chord sequences. It starts off quite minimal but grows quickly but proceeds to do little else after the first chorus. She is very passionate during the song and gestures a lot which, if choreographed correctly and directed toward the camera, would be very effective. However, a lot of the song involves a lot of oooooh-ing and aaaaaaaaah-ing and doing vocal gymnastics which a) doesn’t sound nice and b) seems a total waste of time. The ending is a little abrupt, has no build up and there are no clues to suggest that the end is coming soon.

As ever with Festivali i Këngës, songs are performed in Albanian but also with an extensive orchestra and an array of backing singers. This has usually meant that songs have undergone an extensive transformation by the time it gets to Eurovision. Therefore, judging this song as is, is a little unfair. All we do know is that it will be performed in English in May. However what is in her favour is that the song is few seconds under the 3-minute mark and so not much will be done structurally to make the song eligible for the contest. The instrumentals need to have more light and shade - more drama - which will hopefully be mirrored in the reworked lyrics. I think this is an OK song but needs a lot of work in terms of performance and stagecraft. Her voice is good but she needs more actual lyrics and meaning - not constant warbling. Putting into English will be a good move if they don’t mess around too much with the current structure of the song.

ARTIST - Lindita

SONG - Botë (World)

MUSIC - Klodian Qafoku

LYRICS - Gerald Xhari

161216

Happy Christmas everybody!!!!

But even at this festive time of year, there is much  'Eurovisioning' to be done - in fact, our first nation final will be happening next week! It's a long way until the end of March!!!!!

In this episode I run down the dates of the known NFs then take a look at some of the people trying to make a name for themselves - or another go at Eurovision - and by golly there are quite a few!

I also get to share some very exciting news about the United Kingdon NF that is happening at the end of January :)

Music comes from France and Italy

So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/ESCarmchair  
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ESCarmchair

You can download or listen to the latest podcast here - https://archive.org/details/escarmchair-161216

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jESC preview

On Sunday 20th November, the annual Junior Eurovision is being held in Malta!

The contest has been going since 2003 and it is fair ro say that the contest has gone through its share of rule changes (for better AND for worse). In ths podcast, I play a couple of my fave songs from the past as well as very potted review of the songs we have this year - all 17 of them !!!

Hopefully I will get back on track soon enough, as the preparations of the main contest in May are already underway.

So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/ESCarmchair  
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ESCarmchair

You can download or listen to the latest podcast here - https://archive.org/details/escarmchair161118

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Hello

Here's my first podcast under my new name... including new introduction music!

September sees the start of the Eurovision 2017 silly season and so I take a bit of time to re-iterate WHY I changed the name of the blog and cast light on what I hope to be doing this coming national finals season. I can't go on the way things were, so things have had to change...

So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland  
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/ESCarmchair

You can download or listen to thelatest podcast here - https://archive.org/details/escarmchair160823

Click here to listen to this podcast in your usual music player (M3U Playlist)

Welcome to ESC armchair !!!!

De Vogels Van Holland is dead.... long live ESC armchair!!!!

Don't worry too much, it'll be the same people doing the same kind of things just with an easier name and possibly the scope to do some new things!

The old blog name, although individual and quite knowing, had been weighing on my mind for a while but I think the nail in the coffin came around Eurovision this year when I realised that things needed to change, hopefully this small blogpost will explain why...

The name, although in its own way quite clever, didn't really say anything about what the blog was about and it that way it showed my naivety. The original name 'De Vogels Van Holland’ was a nod to the fact that I personally wanted to learn about Eurovision and ALL its history, and in a kind of way I did that. One might say it was really a very selfish blog in the fact that it was about MY progression, MY learning, MY knowledge. As time has gone on and I know more, now is the time to try something new.

The other problem about the name was the fact that to non-Eurovision fans it was not accessible. Not being in English meant it was a mouthful to explain and translate. Trying to spell the name live on BBC local radio so that people could find it - was a little bit tricky. Therefore it was important that if I was to change the name it would be something a bit more encompassing, easy to search for and also easy to imagine!

Then there is the issue of time. With work and looking after a now walking 15 month old; finding time, space, energy and enthusiasm to do posts and podcasts is becoming more and more difficult. I don’t want to just give it up as it gives me a sense of belonging to a community as well as a lot of joy – and hopefully it does to you too. So I feel that a re-name and a re-vamp will give me a bit of time and space to work out how I can carry on being a very miniscule part of the Eurovision blogging community with a better vision and direction in a way that won’t put too much pressure on myself.

So, what will the new website bring?

To be honest, I still don’t know – however I feel the new name does fit with my view of eurovision. Although I would say I am a bit of a Eurovision fanatic I’ve never been to any kind of Eurovision event – an ESC rehearsal/SF/F, national final, concert pre-party or ANYTHING. In fact the most ESC thing I have ever been to was a Sébastien Tellier concert 2009 where he sang his Eurovision entry. 

So in a kind of back handed kind of way I am making this weakness my strength, this couch potato view of Eurovision is a bit of a bridge between the hardcore fans and the casual once-a-year watcher. So this is where the armchair part comes in  - the fact that I am watching is just like everybody else. Yes, I might have friends inside the bubble and I follow the relevant sites and people to get insider knowledge but my view has always been the TV view. Yes, Eurovision is a massive contest and being at Eurovision is a ma-hooooo-sive deal and it must be such a thrill to be a part of it, but this will never be me. I don’t have the time, money or opportunity to do this. In fact the only possible way I could even go to a Eurovision would be if the EBU located next year’s jESC or ESC in my local village hall. 

I would be lying if I didn’t way that every May I become quite sad and jealous of all my ESC friends who are boarding planes, facebooking photo albums and tweeting from rehearsals (hence my slightly deprecating subtitle) but Eurovision is the world’s greatest TV show and I am 100% a tv viewer. 

Anyway, I think that will do for now… 

Over the next few weeks there will be tweaks and change to the design of the website and possibly the odd update posts. Between now and the start of the Eurovision circus in September I’ll be hard thinking about what *exactly* my shtick, niche and POV is, so here are some questions for you

1) Which parts of the DVVH posts/podcasts did you like or enjoy most?

2) What would you like to see/hear more of?

3) What does the idea of ‘ESC armchair’ say to you

4) When you think of my posts/podcasts, what impressions do you get?

Any feedback or ideas are gladly welcomed, tweet any ideas to my new twitter account @escarmchair - or leavea comment at the end of the blog :)

DVVHolland awards part 2

Sorry about the delay but life gets in the way these days!

Here we giveaway a number of our prestigious awards for the many 'achievements' and undertakings in the 2016 Eurovision song contest. Plus if you can shed any light on my predicament at the start of the show - please tell me what happened!!!!!

Awards up for grabs in this episode are:

Best finger point

Best use of wind machine

Chiara award for best winker

Željko Award for most pointless intro

Act your age award

Invisible backing singers

Baby’s fave

PS - yes, I know I've now given two awards for best backing singers but felt having the two awards back to back would've made more sense!

As you will also hear - this is possibly the end of a DVVH era.... 

DVVHolland awards part 1

Yes, Eurovision 2016 passed by ages ago but I have only just got around to doing a podcast about it!!!!

As ever we look back at the going on in the Globen with our tongue firmly in our cheeks as we give out some well deserved awards to the stars of the show - some for good reasons, others not so good. The second part of the awards show (I hope) will be up next week... ish!

Awards up for grabs in the episode are:

Best backing singers
The Sakis Rouvas award for biggest ego
Best prop(s)
Worst dancing
The Lil Lindfors memorial award for best pins
Best camera angle
The WTF?!?!?!? award

So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/DVVHawardspt1

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FINAL

Well, those semi-finals ended up being as clear as mud – however my predictions on the 3 acts from each semi what WOULDN’T qualify did ring true!

So first let’s look at is the final running order. As is it has been for the past few years the producers of the show formulate the running order. This is to try and stop similar songs, or too different, songs being placed next to each other in major succession when drawn randomly. The only parameters they have to go on is each finalist drew a lot to decide if they are in the top or bottom half of the draw. Plus the host nation, Sweden drew their placing at random at the delegation meeting back in March.

This is how Saturday night will pan out…

Grand final running order

Belgium

Czech Republic

The Netherlands

Azerbaijan

Hungary

Italy

Israel

Bulgaria

Sweden

Germany

France

Poland

Australia

Cyprus

Serbia

Lithuania

Croatia

Russia

Spain

Latvia

Ukraine

Malta

Georgia

Austria

United Kingdom

Armenia

It is a rather odd running order.

Belgium, like Finland in the first semi-final is a rather safe and stereotypical number to start off the night and does slightly put the slower songs of Czech Republic and Netherlands in the shade. It’s not really until Bulgaria who are the 8th song does it perk up again.

France get a good draw being between two quite samey ballads. Australia are followed by Cyprus which may be so loud you totally forget her OR remind you how good a singer she is. The second half of the draw is very messy. Having Russia followed by Spain makes no sense and having such a gentle song like Austria preceded by Georgia will be such a stark difference I feel it won’t do either song any good. UK being second last is nice but may well be out classed by Armenia in the last position. However I feel that by the time Georgia has finished the last 4 won’t be seen or heard due to blotchy eyes and ringing ears.

POINTS TO NOTE

*Sweden is the only Nordic nation in the final so one may assume that high numbers of points from those DNQ countries might go their way. That said, Sweden won’t have it their own way as will may have some competition from Latvia who have a similar act with a far more emotive song.

In the same vein you could note that Croatia and Serbia are the only ex-Yugoslav countries in the final so you would expect the others to be giving them a larger score than average. Although this might not make be big enough to win, the shifting of votes might be big enough for a favourite to lose.

*On the other hand there are 7 ex-USSR countries in the final and I feel that ALL the old Soviet states may find their loyalties and loves stretched across all seven in the final. Yes, Russia will probably get the majority of the 12s but those that don’t may be cost them the win. And although there is no such thing as a ‘sympathy vote’ there may well be a ‘solidarity vote’ or ‘tactical vote’ away from Russia instead – probably towards Ukraine (due to politics) or Georgia (because of diverse genre|)

*It was nice to see the 6 automatic finalists being shown during the semi-finals. Although each clip was only seen for a minute it makes you that little bit more familiar with the before you see them properly in full. I feel that this gesture really hasn’t changed any of the big 5 plus Sweden’s chances.

*I also feel that those more divisive songs and singers e.g. Ukraine, Georgia,  Cyprus, Austria, Israel etc. etc., may cancel out or remove votes from more populist countries like Sweden and Russia. This may mean that those countries running close behind might actually end up winning a portion of the televote.

*I doubt very much in this close run year that the jury winner will be the televote winner. With the 100/100 scoring we have now it will be ultra clear as to who has voted what and ‘trends’ will be easier to spot. After a Russian jury member was disqualified earlier in the week for filming the jury final on periscope AND discussing her feelings with other jurors, this part will be under real scrutiny. I feel that the jury winner will be more an all-round show whilst the televote winner will either be best show OR best vocal.

Basically I *still* have no clue how this is going to go. There seem to be 5-6 songs leading the betting however I feel you can take France out of that equation. The voting sequence at the end, where all the televotes are collated and given individually to each country in ascending order will make for a very exciting ending especially if the jury vote and televote are dissimilar.

All I will say is this – PLEASE VOTE... *but* vote carefully and vote for what you like. This year more than any other, your vote could well make a difference between someone winning and losing…

Cue LT United...

.... and here s my FINAL pre-final favourites list.
This is NOT what I think will happen just the songs in order of my favourites :)

Rank      Entry
1  Georgia Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian Lolitaz Midnight Gold
2  Australia Dami Im Sound of Silence
3  Croatia Nina Kraljić Lighthouse
4  Ukraine Jamala 1944
5  Latvia Justs Heartbeat
6  Czech Republic Gabriela Gunčíková I Stand
7  Belgium Laura Tesoro What's the Pressure
8  Russia Sergey Lazarev You Are the Only One
9  United Kingdom Joe & Jake You're Not Alone
10  Austria  Zoë Loin d'ici
11  Bulgaria Poli Genova If Love Was a Crime
12  Spain Barei Say Yay!
13  Cyprus Minus One  Alter Ego
14  France Amir J'ai cherché
15  Italy Francesca Michielin Nessun grado di separazione
16  Serbia ZAA Sanja Vučić Goodbye (Shelter)
17  Germany Jamie-Lee Kriewitz Ghost
18  Malta Ira Losco Walk on Water
19  Poland Michał Szpak Color of Your Life
20  Armenia Iveta Mukuchyan LoveWave
21  Azerbaijan Samra  Miracle
22  Hungary Freddie Pioneer
23  Israel Hovi Star Made of Stars
24  Lithuania Donny Montell I've Been Waiting for This Night
25  Sweden Frans  If I Were Sorry
26  Netherlands Douwe Bob Slow Down

SEMI FINALS

It is finally Eurovision week and it's time to think about predictions!

For the first time in a loooooooooooooong time, fans, insiders and bookiess all seem a bit at sea - no-one seems to agree or settle on a major favourite or out and out probable winner. And after a week of rehearsals, some songs seem to have shot up, others wavered and others sank like a stone. I have taken a conscious decision this year NOT to watch rehearsal footage on line (although I will admit to watching 3-4 clips online just to see the fuss). Partially this is a time issue as I'm working full time at the moment AND having to cope with a high maintenance Squirt, and partially because I would like to leave some of the surprises to the actual night. I have however been keeping up with the views and opinions on twitter and facebook as well as an eye on the live feed from eurovision.tv . On here they have montage videos summing up the day's events that last only a few minutes each as well as looking at the photo albums from the rehearsals.

My opinions have changed over time and have slightly altered over the past week. I would say that it's not so much that lots of songs have gone up in my estimation, more that lots of performances have put me off. There is a lot of unnecessaryness (is that even a word?) this year in terms of stage costumes and props and I get the feeling that less is definitely more. I really believe that this year will really come down to the vocal performances on the nights (the jury votes the day before each semi during the recorded semi-final - recorded in case of technical difficulties on the night and they can just replay that one instead)

So here is my final list of all 42 songs from this year's Eurovision in my order of preference,..

 1  Czech Republic   Gabriela Gunčíková - I Stand
 2  Iceland   Greta Salóme - Hear Them Calling
 3  Georgia    Nika Kocharov & Young Georgian Lolitaz - Midnight Gold
 4  Belarus   Ivan - Help You Fly
 5  Ukraine   Jamala - 1944
 6  Russia   Sergey Lazarev - You Are the Only One
 7  Latvia   Justs - Heartbeat
 8  Croatia   Nina Kraljić - Lighthouse
 9  United Kingdom   Joe & Jake - You're Not Alone
10  Belgium   Laura Tesoro - What's the Pressure
11  Bulgaria   Poli Genova - If Love Was a Crime
12  Australia   Dami Im - Sound of Silence
13  Spain   Barei - Say Yay!
14  France   Amir - J'ai cherché
15  Malta   Ira Losco - Walk on Water
16  Bosnia-Herzegovina   Dalal & Deen ft. Ana Rucner and Jala  - Ljubav je
17  Austria    Zoë - Loin d'ici
18  Estonia   Jüri Pootsmann -  Play
19  Serbia   ZAA Sanja Vučić - Goodbye (Shelter)
20  Armenia   Iveta Mukuchyan - LoveWave
21  Moldova   Lidia Isac - Falling Stars
22  Ireland   Nicky Byrne - Sunlight
23  Slovenia   ManuElla  - Blue and Red
24  Montenegro   Highway - The Real Thing
25  Germany   Jamie-Lee Kriewitz - Ghost
26  Poland   Michał Szpak - Color of Your Life
27  Cyprus   Minus One  - Alter Ego
28  Lithuania   Donny Montell - I've Been Waiting for This Night
29  Azerbaijan   Samra - Miracle
30  Hungary   Freddie - Pioneer
31  Finland   Sandhja - Sing It Away
32  FYR Macedonia    Kaliopi - Dona
33  Israel   Hovi Star - Made of Stars
34  Norway   Agnete - Icebreaker
35  San Marino   Serhat - I Didn't Know
36  Italy   Francesca Michielin - No Degree of Separation
37  Sweden   Frans - If I Were Sorry
38  Greece   Argo - Utopian Land
39  Albania   Eneda Tarifa - Fairytale Love
40  Switzerland   Rykka - The Last of Our Kind
41  Denmark   Lighthouse X - Soldiers of Love
42  Netherlands   Douwe Bob - Slow Down

From this list I have created what WOULD be my 10 qualifiers, however I'm not completely happy with it...

SF1 1            Czech Republic 2            Iceland 6            Russia 8            Croatia 15          Malta 16          Bosnia-Herzegovina 17          Austria  18          Estonia 20          Armenia 21          Moldova

SF 2 3            Georgia 4            Belarus 5            Ukraine 7            Latvia 10          Belgium 11          Bulgaria 12          Australia 19          Serbia 22          Ireland 23          Slovenia

Do I think these 20 will qualify? No.

In regards to SF1 there are a few notable omissions from my personal list. Greece have a 100% qualification record but I find their song too messy and lacking in conviction. Last year they just scraped into the final with a more commercial song but I fear that the diaspora may be enough to get them through. Azerbaijan also has a 100% record but the song is weaker and her vocals even weaker. Again they only just scraped through last year with a much more visual performance. I guess all 100% records must come to an end at some point and fear this may be the case for at least one of them. Although Cyprus have a less successful record of qualifying their song does stand out in the semi and may get extra votes from viewers who like their style. The Netherlands song is getting a lot of love from the fans but I honestly don't know who would love this song enough to actually vote for it. On the other hand I have huge issues with Croatia as their stage show seems so over the top and garish, I fear people will laugh rather than vote, even though it is a very beautiful song. The main song I worry about st Czech republic. They have never qualified and doesn't really have a notable diaspora. I can only hope that the juries lap this up AND that people vote for a simple gimmickless straightforward song.

SF2 is a very tricky one to call as there could literally be millions of possible and credible permutations based on the act on the night. Norway is a notable omission. The song is too odd, the staging has been downgraded since the national final and like the Netherlands I don't know who will be affected enough by the song or singer to vote. Returnees from Macedonia and Lithuania are not on my list either. The former due to the fact it is a very old fashioned song which I fear, no matter how full of character Kaliopi is, will be passed by. Lithuania's show seems like a total mess. The song is modern but needs a simpler and more lyric driven show rather than the gyrating and gymnastics he has on screen. I feel that the ballads in the semi are at a real disadvantage as they all seem a bit too similar. I personally don't like Israel's song but is quite contemporary so may just sneak through. I am very doubtful that Slovenia will qualify and Ireland is a real borderline case. Although Georgia are my winners of the semi I don't think they will get any love from the juries and won't get enough clout from the televote to qualify.

This is who I predict will qualify from each semi

SF1:

Moldova, Croatia, Armenia, Russia, Czech Republic, Cyprus, Azerbaijan, Iceland, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Malta 

SF2:
Latvia,  Israel,  Belarus,  Serbia,  Ireland,  Lithuania,  Australia,  Bulgaria,  Ukraine,  Belgium

I'm not really happy with that 'prediction' either but this year is so random almost anything goes...
That said  it is a fair-ish assumption that it's easier to predict the 3 no-hopers in each semi...
SF1 - Finland, San Marino and Montenegro             SF2 - Switzerland, Denmark and Albania

Basically any combination of the other 15 songs in each semi could be a viable prediction. That's about as confident as I get prediction wise.... But I will be willing to eat my hat if even this proves to be wrong!

BBC Radio Bristol

So, yesterday afternoon I was once again invited onto the Steve Yabsley Show on BBC Radio Bristol and BBC Somerset to talk about all things Eurovision.

I was on for just under half a hour and it was nice talking about the event's history as well as giving a few pointers to this year's contest. Below is the bbc iplayer link and my part starts at around 37:41 just after the travel update and sports advert.

If you have any ideas about what I might rename my blog this summer tweet me at @dvvholland

I hope I have done the Eurovision fandom proud


http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p03rfh54

Re-writing songs...

Imagine if I had been asked to co-write this year's Eurovision songs....

Last week on Twitter I got a bit bored and had a go - therefore the majority of them got written under the 140 character limit for tweets - hence why most of them are quite short.


SPAIN
Come on and raise your bottle high
Swing low and quickly stab his thigh

You keep on taking smiley pills
Us boys we have the bestest thrills


SAN MARINO
I didn't know
It's appalling for you
That my song sounds like poo
I didn't know
That you've bought a shot gun
I'm target number one


MONTENEGRO
Feel it... I love snorkeling yeah
I'm gonna swim for your love
Gonna splash, gonna catch fish
I'm gonna hold my breath and hold my nose


CYPRUS
Caught in the middle of watching a porno flick
My mother walked in, was immediatly sick
Under the bed clothes I wank in the moonlight


CROATIA
There was a fight, on the railway, tried so hard to keep away
But there in that pie, cooking away are 4 members of Suede
Please take me back to the
The Mad House
The Mad House
The Mad House


GEORGIA
When I came to... North Aberdeen
I went to Peterhead
Made sure the Loch Ness Monster was really dead


IRELAND
We'll be outside having a bitch... fight
I shagged your brother, pathetic lover
It's a bitch... fight
I tried to smother your stupid mother


LATVIA
I'm making a spreadsheet
of things that I want, things that I need
Like loo roll and chocolate and Speed.


BELARUS
I will help you learn how to drive how, to drive
Stay on the main roads - not the M5, the M5


AZERBAIJAN
This is not satirical
This is not political - I say to you
I'll mime every single note
But I have rigged the vote
We're off to Baku...


MALTA
I feel this song is like bathwater.. bathwater... bathwater
One sat in by a really dirty squatter, a squatter, a squatter


FRANCE
Glue
It's the thing that's making me strong
I'll be sniffing sniffing for
Glue
Like the farts that make a big pong


SWEDEN
I drive a lorry
Do bird watching from the quarry
And I like Corrie

Gets a bit gory
I sit on the lavatory
That's mandatory


SLOVENIA
Cause poo is poo and wee is wee
But both end up in your nappy
I think you find it entertaining
Just wait 'til we do potty training


ISRAEL
Drunk in bars
Pissheads always fallin'
We are... drunk in bars.
We are behind bars,
Did a moonie to a copper
Now behind bars


SWITZERLAND
It's the last roller blind
In the hardware shop, and it's closing time
Gotta buy something quickly
It's the last roller blind


NORWAY
I'll eat a gob....stopper
It's a bubble gum that's hardened, a bubble gum that's hardened.


BELGIUM
Where is Cheshire?
It can snow in Wilmslow my good friends
And in Sproston
Peeps are kind but colour blind and in debt.


GERMANY
Just make some toast for you
Don't make some toast for me
I've got myself a bowl of muesli
Tell me who's smug now!


POLAND
O - O – O – O - I'm up for a fight
That asshole is my wife
O – O – O –O - she is such a tart
And missing a body part


GREECE
We're the fall of the falling star
Come and relax in a spa
We're the fall of the falling star
But we're skint so you're paying the lot


HUNGARY
Million Safeways, a million Prestos
Be proud, shops were epic in the 80's
A million Bejams, a million Kwik Saves
and I so miss the Pioneer


NETHERLANDS
You gotta shut up Douwe, shut up Douwe,
Shut up with your stupid song.
Shut up Douwe, shut up Douwe
Shut up and go light a bong


MACEDONIA
Dona, Dona, Dona, Dona, Dona Chameleon
You come and gooooooo
You come and gooooooo-oooooo-oooooo-ooooooo


DENMARK
Let's be gay men of Hove, gay men of Hove, gay men of Hove tonight
Take my hand and never let go, never let go and let’s be gay men of Hove


AUSTRALIA
Now my nose awakes to the smell of science
And it sneezes to the smell of science
And it sneezes to the smell of science

SOA 2016 8

It's the last show of the year boo/hiss/hooray/wipe brow/first pump (delete as applicable)
Poor Mr Jopijedd tries REALLY HARD to get out of his duties, but to no avail. We take no responsibility or liability for listeners who catch what he has through listening to this podcast...

We discuss where our 'high deluxe studio' is (guffaw), Mrs Forky has a rant about contestants on America's Next Top Model, Jopijedd wonders (in a very general way) about Arianna Grande and we finally find out which part of Mr Jopijedd has a secret talent - although it is secret no longer !!!!

Much to talk about this episode regarding the songs, however most of it seems to be the re-occurring theme this year of missed opportunities.  Not only do we choose a winner for the episode but an overall winner for the podcast. As previous winners of this 'accolade' will confirm - IT IS THE KISS OF DEATH !!!!!

This episode was pre-recorded on the 28th April and reviewed are in alphabetical order - Albania, Armenia, Cyprus, Italy and Latvia.

So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_8

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SOA 2016 7

It's the penultimate show of the year and we can't quite believe it?!?!?

Talking points include:

Can you be too girly? (Possibly...)

Does Fleur East have a good lawyer? (I don't think she cares...)

Who sounds like the whiniest contestant? (That's an easy one....)

Is Montenegro back to being Montenegro yet....? (Very much YES!)


This episode was recorded on 22nd April and the songs reviewed are in alphabetical order - Austria, Belgium, Estonia, Montenegro, Switzerland and possibly Romania.

So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_7

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SOA 2016 6

Not long to go now as we reach the 3/4 point!
And the episode has a(nother) guest appearance by the Soup Dragon.

Lots of chat about songs sounding like other songs and lots of songs seemingly jump the shark in one way or another... And I also wonder who really should be calling the shots when it comes to choosing Eurovision entries. I get the feeling that a) a lot of whiny people get their own way and b) some people buckle too easily to 'fan pressure'. There is also the age old argument about whether gimmicks work - and if you can have too many gimmicks - but also is the SONG contest becoming too visual..?

This episode was recorded on the 13th April and the songs reviewed are, in alphabetical order - Czech Republic, Denmark, Iceland, Poland and San Marino.

So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_6

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2016 SOA 5

This is, shall we say, a game of two halves... all will be explained half way through!
It also has a truly confusing beginning - unless you are from Sheffield - more information can be found here ... and beware the 'crack on' box is STILL going *eyes roll*

Most of our complaints this week see to be that most of the songs either sound like something else - not plagiarism, more like derivative and therefore unimaginative - or it is just plain boring! Everything also seems a bit visual in this episode which doesn't make the best podcast but hopefully you already have those visions in your head so shouldn't be too taxing! We also wonder if doing Eurovision after appearing on a version of The Voice/X-factor/Got Talent is a step forward or backwards

This show was recorded in 2 parts on the 10th and 13th of April and the songs covered, in alphabetical order are - Belarus, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Germany, Lithuania, Malta and Slovenia.

So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_5

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2016 SOA 4

Episode 4 of "Shite or Alright" - and please don't kick the baby!

This show also sees the return of the 'crack on' box - I think I may have stumbled across another catchphrase...

Today, Mrs Forky finds one song a bit patronising, we take one song title a bit too literally, improve another song's chorus massively (although we would say that!) and Jopijedd reminds me of a Finnish entrant who I had REALLY tried to forget about ! *shakes fist*

This episode was pre-recorded on the 5th of April and being reviewed are, in alphabetical order: Australia, Finland, Norway, Netherlands, and the United Kingdom

So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_4

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2016 SOA 3

Welcome to episode 3 of his years "Shite or Alright" reviews.

Today we introduce you to Squirt's Comedy Chair!
Issues discussed today include if certain Eurovision contestants are disrobing to get more votes AND if it's actually a bid sad if they believe this, why TV companies need to top listening to Eurovision fans, how popular voting in elections is around where we live and we have ANOTHER meme for Dona - one that we are very proud of...

This episode was pre-recorded on 31st March and being reviewed, in alphabetical order, are - Azerbaijan, Israel, Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, Russia and Spain.


So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_3

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2016 SOA 2

It's episode number 2 of this year's "Shite or Alright" Eurovision reviews!

As I write this I am trying to remember some of the shenanigans that happen in this episode but can't... I have to admit that we were both ever so slightly inebriated during this episode so that is my excuse.... Ooooooops!

We start off with a warning about the SOA dress code (we are watching you), Jopijedd thinks about the singer of the the Hungarian entry and gets is all a bit wrong, does the same with the Georgian band and we suggest what Frans might be stealing from the Post Office.

This episode was pre-recorded on 27th March and being reviewed, in alphabetical order, are - Bulgaria, Hungary, Georgia, Serbia, Sweden and Ukraine


So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_2

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2016 SOA 1

Shite or Alright is back!!!!!

After unpopular demand we've decided to dust off the trusty snowball microphone and have another go at reviewing the entries for this year's Eurovision.

As you will hear at the start there have been a few changes to the format this year which will hopefully make our lives - and your lives - a little bit easier and hopefully a bit less time consuming! However what HASN'T changed are the obligatory advertisements, obscure references (if in doubt google it OR tweet me at @DVVHolland for info) and foul language. Don't worry - baby was fast asleep upstairs at time of recording.

This episode was pre-recorded on 25th March and being reviewed, in alphabetical order, are - Croatia, France, Greece, Ireland and Moldova

So, you can follow all the fun and games on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland . You can find get the latest information about our blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016SOA_1

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My draw

So, SVT seem to be taking their time in releasing the semi-final line ups, possibly due to a) the number of last-minute selections and b) changes to entries AFTER the closing date. However I spent literally 5 minutes doing my own personal line up. This ISN’T what I think will happen but more what I’d do if I were in charge. I have tried to create a bit of tension, keep some flow and keep viewers entertained from start to finish.

I have tried to make each entry as individual as possible i.e. tried not to have similar acts following each other OR try to have 2 similar singing or song styles following on. As you will see this has not always been possible. I also wanted the viewer to feel intrigued about what was coming next. It was also important to me that the viewers felt optimistic about the next song if they were not enjoying the present one so they had a reason to watch on.

Here are the two semis, split into their two halves. The only thing that I don’t know that might make a difference is where the producers intend to have a break (or breaks) in the running orders. Songs after the breaks may be at a disadvantage plus it would be an opportunity to place two similar songs next to each other in the running order without being to easily comparable.


SF1
1st half   FIN  NED  GRE  SAN  CRO  MOL  ARM  RUS  HUN
2nd half   MNT  AUT  AZE  EST  MAL  CZE  CYP  ICE  BOS

SF2
1st half   BLR   MAC   LIT   SWI   IRE   POL   AUS   ISR   LAT   SER
2nd half   NOR   DEN   ALB   BEL   GEO   SLO   UKR   ROM   BUL

2016 recap 012

And now, the end is near...

It's felt like a long old slog but finally we have all 43 songs at our laps and all we need to do now is wait and work out who's going to win...

In the podcast I gloss over the fact that all of the song reviews are done and that in this in between time, artists are getting ready for Stockholm. We, on the other hand, have other things in store as you will hear... Please keep in touch with us and I hope you enjoy what we have in store for you throughout April.

Music cones from Yugoslavia and Portugal.

If you want to hear my personal podcasts you can find the info at www.twitter.com/bibberlycheese

Follow us on twitter at https://www.twitter.com/DVVHolland
or like our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/DVVHolland to find get the latest information about blogposts and podcasts or even have a look back at our old ones :o)

You can download or listen to it here https://archive.org/details/2016Recap012

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BULGARIA

The Bulgarian entry was revealed on the 21st March via a video clip on eurovision.tv. Last Month, BNT revealed that they had internally selected former Eurovision entrant Poli Genova to represent Bulgaria  but that the song would be revealed much later. It has since been announced that she will be singing the song “If love was a crime”

This is modern pop song with a slightly ethnic twist. The verses have a good steady rhythm and is quite radio friendly. The first part of the chorus, which contains the name of the song, is a little weak. The tune doesn’t seem to fit the mood of the song and seems a bit too happy and chirpy. The second part of the chorus, which is partially in Bulgarian, is very catchy and repetitive. Poli also sports a very unusual and eye catching one-sided hairstyle which might be a good look for Eurovision.

Poli is already a well known face and name to the Eurovision community. Her musical career began when she was very young and was a member of the group Bon-bon for many years. On her 4th attempt she won the right to represent Bulgaria at Eurovision 2011 but came 12th in her semi final. Since then she has released an album, become a jury member on X-Factor Bulgaria and at the end of last year hosted the Junior Eurovision song contest.

The video has a simple story line and has some interesting views and ideas. The black and white feel works really well. She also looks really interesting and is memorable to the eye. Vocally we know she has a good voice however I would like to hear that she can get her English spot in, especially in the faster parts of the chorus. She will need backing singers as she will need extra oomph in the chorus as well as the overlapping parts at the end. There is something that is missing. On first listen it didn’t gel together for me but felt better on subsequent listens. One would hope that Poli will qualify and she has a good chance of doing so. Her song is possibly one of the few ‘normal’ songs in the second half and I feel that viewers may well relate to this much better in the semi than in the final. I predict an easy route into the final with a finishing place of low teens.

ARTIST – Poli Genova

SONG – If Love Was A Crime

MUSIC – Borislav Milanov, S. Arman, J. Persson

LYRICS – Borislav Milanov, S. Arman, J. Persson, Poli Genova

MALTA [upd]

Back in January, Ira Losco was selected to represent Malta with the song “Chameleon”. Afterwards it was announced that the song choice would be looked at, possibly changed. It was revealed during the delegations meeting that the song had been changed. On March 17th the official video for the song was released. Ira will now be singing the song “Walk on water”

This is modern pop song with a dancy backing track. There is a very long introduction which leads into a slowed down version of the verse and suddenly sparks into life when the bridge kicks in. In essence, the song is very simple in terms of lyrics and song structure. All in all this is a very bad copy of Emilie Sande’s “Heaven”.This is better than Chameleon but only marginally but this also gives me some new reservations. The structure of the song is better and has a better hook. The lyrics are a bit simple and the chorus doesn’t make sense.

Ira Losco was runner up in Eurovision 2002 which kicked off her career in Malta. This fact alone as already made the Maltese participation an early fan favourite. After a 5 year hiatus, she came back to the music scene in 2013 with a new album and featured as a guest during the interval in the Maltese Eurovision selection process. Although not a stranger to ESC, the contest has changed a lot since then and one would hope that somebody of her experience would not be too fazed.

Visually the video is stunning and shows Gozo off in a fantastic fashion. The male dancer is a great addition as it gives the song a much needed quirkiness. Her dresses come of as quite drag queen-ish and I don’t think she looks flattering in any of them. There are few clues as too anything that might be mirrored in the staging. My major concern is that I don’t think she will be able to replicate this level of singing live. She is going to have to have some very good backing singers to help sell the gospel part which possibly means there will be no dancers. Unfortunately this song needs both - this song is going to look good and sound bad or look bad and sound good. This is a great radio tune but is going to flop live. It shouldn’t qualify but probably will, and if it does get to the final it will come in around the high teens.

ARTIST – Ira Losco
SONG – Walk on water
MUSIC – Lisa Desmond, Tim Larsson, Tobias Lundgren, Molly Pettersson-Hammar, Ira Losco
LYRICS – Lisa Desmond, Tim Larsson, Tobias Lundgren, Molly Pettersson-Hammar, Ira Losco

ITALY

The Italian entry was confirmed on March 14th during the official Head of Delegation Meeting in Stockholm. Back in February it was announced that the winning “Big Entry” performer at San Remo would have first refusal of representing the state at Eurovision. The eventual winners of the contest, Stadio, turned down the offer but runner up Francesca Michielin accepted the challenge. There was then a long wait before news came as to whether her San Remo entry, or another song, would go with her. At Eurovision she will be singing a dual language version of her San Remo song called “No degrees of separation”.

Although the All Italian version has been around for months, the version to be performed at Eurovision has not been released yet so I am having to do the review based on the original version. This is a slowish ballad with very little deviation from beginning to end. The verses do not have much of a tune and any tune it does have is not that easy on the ear. The chorus is very similar but there is a definite rhythm and tune to it. The backing track is very minimal and ahs very little rise and fall or oomph. The song also peters out somewhat, which leaves me feeling a little on the confused side.

Francesca was part of the Italian x-factor cast in 2011. Mentored by Simona Ventura, she performed songs by Adele, The Doors, Stevie Wonder and AC/CD proving her versatility. She ended up wining the series signing a record deal with Sony. Her first song debuted at number one on the Italian Singles Chart and later certified double platinum. She has since released numerous tracks, 2 albums, 2 EPs as well as appearing on two top-ten singles by Italian rapper Fedez,  Her song "Amazing” appeared on the Italian version of the soundtrack of The Amazing Spider-Man 2. In 2016 she started her first concert tour and she then appeared in the 2016 Sanremo festival.

The video has some interesting themes and camera angles but I would think they are not ones that would work as live although the passing around of objects might be a good video wall idea. It's also a shame that she looks so emotionless and miserable throughout the whole thing. The full Italian version of the song is 3.40 ish and so they have to eliminate a good chunk of the song. They have also revealed that the last chorus of the song will be in English. I don’t think either f these facts can change my current opinion. I know that this is highly regarded by a lot of people but I find this very boring and uninspiring. I fail to think of who exactly this is appealing to. I find it too 'up itself' for the general public to get emotionally involved and I think the jury may find this too safe or unexciting to bother giving it votes. This is a definite bottom 5 for me and I will be scheduling in a toilet break/tea break/baby feed around this time.

ARTIST – Francesca Michielin
SONG – No degrees of separation
MUSIC – Fabio Gargiulo, Federica Abbate, Francesca Michielin
LYRICS – Cheope, Francesca Michielin, Norma Jean Martine

AZERBAIJAN

The Azerbaijan entry was announced in March 10th. The artist and the song were selected internally based on a ballot by ITV, music and television industry experts and Eurovision fans. The internally selected singer is Samra and she will be singing “Miracle”.

This is a radio friendly pop song with a ballad inspired verse and anthemic chorus. The verses of the song are quite slow and low whilst the chorus is more upbeat The chorus is full of ear worms and you soon start to get the feeling that you have heard this somewhere before. The song flips well between verse and chorus which keeps the flow going until the end.  The repetition of the chorus near the end is a bit too much and it starts to get a little too repetitive after a while. The ending is very anti climactic and feels quite detached for the end. It would have been better to repeat the first line and end on a high or slow down before the end by omitting a chorus at the end.

Samra Rahimli is from Baku, but spent parts of her childhood in Azerbaijan and Russia,  In 2012 she took the stage for the first time at the national selection for the 2012 Eurovision Song Contest. She was the youngest contestant in the competition and eventually came 3rd in her heat. In 2015, she reached the quarterfinals in The Voice of Turkey then joined the cast of The Voice Azerbaijan last autumn, eventually finishing 4th.

The video clip shows some interesting ideas, some of which could be brought to the stage. First of all there is the great use of lighting to emphasise the background changes between verse and chorus. There is also the fact that this is a one-take shot from start to end - something not new to Eurovision. Visually, something with these themes could look very professional. Audio wise I notice that the chorus is VERY backing singer heavy, suggesting that she needs a fair bit of help to see it through. I also wonder if she will be able to start the song off sharp enough and with enough confidence to drive it home. I don’t think it’s a bad song but there is nothing particularly special about it. I also feel that some people will find it too earworm-y and too repetitive. This song leaves me wondering who would vote for it. I would suggest this will do OK in the semi – around 7th – but do marginally better in the final – around the 10th place mark. If it didn’t qualify it would not surprise me, if it won it would not surprise me.

  

ARTIST – Samra

SONG – Miracle

MUSIC – Amir Aly Jakob “Jakke” Erixson Henrik Wikström

LYRICS – Amir Aly Jakob “Jakke” Erixson Henrik Wikström

SERBIA

The Serbian song was unveiled on 12^th March during a special show “Pesma Srbije za Evropu” hosted by Slobodan Šarenac, Vlada Jelić , Dejan Pantelić and Milan Popović. A few days earlier RTS revealed who their internally singer and song would be. Going to Stockholm is Sanja Vučić  - who will be using the stage name ZAA - singing the song “Goodbye”.

This is an odd little ditty and doesn’t sound very Serbian at all. It is a stylistic ballad with jazzy, 1960’s touches, almost Adele like in places. She is also styled a little like Amy Winehouse which suits the song – but not her. It’s a lovely touch to have her in front of an orchestra, this is a Eurovision song that needs the oomph that a orchtra gives rather than something synthesised. The whole song has a great structure and really suits the last minute key change. This is one of the few songs where both parts of the song work really well as do the instrumental parts.

Sanja Vučić has been singing since she was little, she attended a music school and studied in the opera department. She also sang in various ensembles, ranging from ethno music, a jazz orchestra and church choir. She then joined the band ZAA in 2012. The band is noted for its crossover appeal doing ska, dub, rock, jazz and punk. She performed on their "What About" album released in 2014.

Although this was presented on s special show this was a mimed video performance and it is quite obvious that many different takes were used to craft it. First of all she needs to sack the person who dressed her and the person who did her make up as she looks truly awful and over done. She looks more like a slightly drunk fortune teller. Her hair looks like she's just got out of bed,  the lipstick colour makes her look like a blow up doll and the dress makes her look a lot bigger than she actually is. She is obviously not backwards in coming forwards when if comes to performance style and you can tell she has a lot of attitude and passion for what she does. My concern is that it will be more attitude than singing. If she can sing this live AND tone down the visuals ever so slightly this could get a lot of votes. The juries will love this and I think the style of music will appeal to casual watchers. I would hope this will qualify from semi 2 with little fuss and I think this should be a top 10 finisher.

ARTIST – ZAA

SONG – Goodbye

MUSIC – Ivana Peters

LYRICS – Ivana Peters

LITHUANIA

The Lithuanian Final was held on March 12th at the LRT TV Studios in Vilnius, hosted by Andrius Rožickas & Geruta Griniute. Before the final there were 9 shows which brought all of the selected songs and singers down to a final of 6 acts singing a different song each. The winner, chosen by 50-50 split of televoting and jury was Donny Montell singing “I’ve been waiting for this night”.

This is a mid-tempo number that walks the line between ballad and pop song. He starts the song underneath a projected rain cloud. I’m not quite sure what this is supposed to represent but it looks awful. He also has some smoke jets during the chorus. Near the end he does a somersault over a prop of some kind – again I don’t know why. Donny is dressed very casually, a bit too casually. His performance style is a bit over the top and looks more like a raucous rap show than slow ballad. The whole thing takes too long to get going. The verses are not terribly memorable and the chorus has no proper structure to it. Overall this feels like a lot of mismatched things thrown together.

Donny Montell won his first singing competition when he was just 6! His first taste of Eurovision came in 2008 when he entered the Lithuanian national final with two songs – one a solo number, one a duet. The latter did not get to the final but his solo attempt got to second place. His entry in 2009 was disqualified and his two songs in 2010 placed 10th and 5th. In 2012 his entry “Love is blind” won the national final and got a respectable 14th place in the final. He also has over 10 singles to his names and released 2 albums.

Overall this feels like a lot of mismatched things thrown together – it is totally confused. He looks like he is trying to be 18 when he is actually 28. He would do much better if he just stood there with a mic stand and sang the song. As he wrote the song and there is (currently) only him on stage I don’t see anything about this changing. There are so many distracting you, you start to forget there is a song involved. The song itself is a little boring and is every piss poor boy band song from the 1990s and 2000s rolled into one. There is nothing new to hear or see here. When it comes to qualifying, it is in a very friendly semi with lots of neighbours and plenty of chances for some diaspora votes. I suspect this will qualify, although it is very much a car crash of a show.

ARTIST – Donny Montell
SONG – I’ve been waiting for this night
MUSIC – Christian Schneider, Sara Biglert, Aidan O'Connor
LYRICS – Christian Schneider, Sara Biglert, Aidan O'Connor

SWEDEN

The Swedish Final was held on March 12th at the Friends Arena in Solna, hosted by Gina Dirawi & William Spetz. Before the final there were four semi-finals and a second chance round, all chosen though public voting. The winner during the final was chosen by televoting (50%) and a panel 11 international juries (50%). The winning act was Frans singing “If I were sorry”

This is mid-tempo low key song with a very conversational tone about it. The backdrop behind him is back and the gold parts behind in change into different shapes and words. The camera work is a bit jumpy at first but this mirrors the mumbly, tip of  the tongue tone of the song You can hear his English accent – although to my ears it feels like he has over-Lena-ed it and sounds more Mockney Dick Van Dyke than a true British accent. There is not much to the backing track and has a folksy jumpy feel. The lyrics are a bit nondescript and I would say that many of the rhymes are not good and he tries to hard to make the non-rhymes rhyme, e.g. sorry and glory. It sounds more like a poem being rapped out. As a piece of music it reminds me of the style of Just Jack.

Frans Jeppsson-Wall is part Nigerian, part English, part Swedish but lived in Sweden until he was 8. He then moved to London , along with his twin sister. and younger brother . Frans’ best known song is "Who's da Man" about Swedish footballer Zlatan Ibrahimović. It stayed at the top of the official Swedish Singles Chart for 13 weeks. After 8 years away, Frans returned to the music scene with his participation in the Swedish national final. He is the second youngest Melodifestivalen winner ever behind Carola in 1983.

France will needs some backing singers although these will probably end up being out of sight. Frans is a good-looking young man and all the ladies will adore him (as will some of the young men). It is quite a modern song and will probably work well on contemporary and easy-listening radio stations. It doesn’t have much of a tune and doesn’t have any major ups and down or lifts to rise to a big finish.  Part of me wishes that the last chorus has a bigger beat or double-time it just to gather up the pace a bit, otherwise it leaves you a little bit deflated. There is no ‘song’ and he can’t really sing very well. One wonders if the Swedes really want to win again because this has 'not winning' written through it like a stick of rock. The app voting available in Sweden mean that this not only appealed to the younger demographic but made it easier for the to vote for it to - something not transferable to Eurovision itself. I personally would have this bottom 5 but will probably end up around the 10-15 mark.

ARTIST – Frans

SONG – If I were sorry

MUSIC – Oscar Fogelström, Michael Saxell, Fredrik Andersson, Frans Jeppsson-Wall

LYRICS –  Oscar Fogelström, Michael Saxell, Fredrik Andersson, Frans Jeppsson-Wall

CZECH REPUBLIC

The Czech entry was unveiled in March 10^th via a press release. This was followed the next day by a full press conference and release of the official music video. The internally selected singer is Gabriela Gunčíková and she will be singing “I stand”

This is a more classical ballad with a repetitive and simplistic chorus. The verses of the song have a very strong melody and the lyrics, although a little over the top, are not your usual Eurovision fayre. The chorus is a little weak to be honest with 3 of the four lines just being the words “I stand” and have exactly the same tune each time. One might say that the positive about this is that it is easy to remember.

Gabriela is most known for her involvement in a TV competition “Česko Slovenská Superstar” where she came second. Since then she went to America to study at the Ken Tamplin Vocal Academy song and then became a member of the US Trans-Siberian Orchestra, whose genre is a mix of rock and orchestra, with whom she played in two major tours around 120 concerts. She also has 2 studio solo albums to her name.

The video clip had some very interesting theme, many of which could be used on the Eurovision stage. The cinematography of the first and ending shots are breathtaking and leave you intrigued. I also like the geometric projections and overlays – slightly Stromae-eque. However the stop-go animation (although obviously painstaking to make) didn’t really fit the flow or mood of the song. I cannot comment too much on the odds of the being able to sing this live due to it being a video presentation.

Being one of the simpler and more classical style ballads this could have an outside chance of being the first Czech qualifier ever.  This sticks out compared to all the other songs in the second half of semi one which are either up-tempo or stylised ballads. This would be a great ending to the semi, but will probably be placed somewhere in the middle of its half. Czech Republic does not have many ‘friends’ in Eurovision terms but there are  a few Central countries in its semi so might get a few neighbourly votes. If this qualifies, this will be as good as a win.

ARTIST – Gabriela Gunčíková

SONG – I stand

MUSIC – Christian Schneider, Sara Biglert, Aidan O'Connor

LYRICS – Christian Schneider, Sara Biglert, Aidan O'Connor